Memories.
1289 Words
"Who the hell is he? Huh, Gulf! Tell me!!" Mew interrogated, grabbing Gulf by the arm and shaking him furiously. He didn't care if they were making a ruckus in public.
Anger clouded his judgement and he didn't have the patience to wait until they got home to settle the scores.
Home.
Something that was once their place to seek comfort, love and peace but now — it has turned into a constant battlefield, resentment and cold wars.
Their relationship was hanging by a thread and even though living like this made them grow weary, none of them had the heart to say those three words.
"How many damn times do I have to tell you that he's just a nobody?! Your jealousy is killing me!!" Gulf raised his voice and retorted.
It was like watching the most heart-wrenching movie on mute. Tears streamed down their angry faces as they defended themselves without truly listening.
"You know what, forget it. You're always like that."
If Mew had known this would happen, he wouldn't have picked a fight with Gulf over nothing.
If Mew had known this would happen, he would have listened to his tua-eng, his sunflower, the love of his life, his oxygen.
But it was all too late.
Everything happened so soon.
It was too fast.
He had no idea what he was doing or where he was going. All he knew was that he wanted to leave Gulf as fast as he could.
Mindlessly setting a foot upon the asphalt road, bright lights shining from the incoming vehicles nearly blinded Mew.
The loud honk and the loud screeching from the brakes rang in his ears loudly, enough to cause sudden loss of hearing.
The next thing Mew knew was that he was on the hard ground. It took him several seconds to finally register what had happened.
And when he struggled to turn his head to the side, the last thing he saw was the love of his life lying in a pool of blood.
"Gulf…" Mew mumbled as he stirred in his sleep, alerting his parents and Jom who had been by his side since the accident 10 months ago.
"Mama, Gor is awake!!" Jom sprung from his seat when she confirmed that her older brother had woken up.
"Luk…" His parents hovered over him with teary eyes.
Knowing how much their parents had missed their son, Jom excused herself to give them privacy and went to look for the doctor instead.
"What happened, Papa… Mama? My head hurts terribly… Why am I here? Where's Gulf?" A series of questions left Mew's tongue.
It was as if his body had been waiting for so long to finally verbalise the questions.
Mama J and Papa J looked at each other with uncertainty. They didn't know what to say even when they had rehearsed so many times while waiting for Mew to wake up.
But the reality still hurts.
When the doctor and the nurses came, Mew's family members excused themselves so they could get a better check on Mew.
They were expecting some sort of good news but the doctor had fallen short of their expectation.
"Khun Mew is physically fine. However… We noticed that he doesn't remember anything regarding the accident after asking a series of questions. He kept calling out for Khun Gulf too. Is he the guy that was brought in together with Khun Mew?"
Mama J went weak in the knees after listening to the doctor's words. "W-what do you mean by that? And yes, we were told that they were together when the accident happened." Mama J sobbed between words.
But before she could continue, Jom jumped in. "Do you mean my brother is suffering from memory loss because he can't remember what happened during that night?"
"You can say that. But for now, it is just our speculation. We have to keep him here and observe him for a few more days. We know this is a difficult time for you three but please remain strong. At least, Khun Mew is awake."
With his last words, the doctor turned on his heels and made his move.
Days, weeks and months had gone by. His family tried their best to keep the tragic news from Mew.
They lied to Mew saying that Gulf had to film a documentary in other countries with bad reception. And to keep up with the lie, Mama J worked hard to copy Gulf's handwriting just so she could write letters in his name.
It was a low move but everyone agreed it was better this way. Who would know what Mew would do if he found out that Gulf is dead?
Especially when he died saving Mew.
That was how Mew only suffered from a loss of memory and Gulf had lost his life.
Mew missed him terribly.
In the past, separating for an hour or two was torturous for them both but now they had to separate for so long, it was making Mew lose his mind despite the letters he would receive.
"Why did he choose to take this documentary anyways?"
This question seemed to linger on his mind but he hasn't found the right opportunity to pen it down yet. He was afraid he might come off as unsupportive.
Having been around his family for so long, Mew decided that he wanted some time alone.
When Jom and his mother went out shopping, Mew took his car keys and drove leisurely.
It wasn't intentional but he had driven to their shared condo. Under his parents' advice, Mew had returned to his family home upon discharge and since Gulf wasn't at the condo, he found it pointless to return.
A look of confusion painted on Mew's face. Stepping into the condo unit, he found that every piece of furniture was covered in plastic sheets and white cloth.
It was as if the unit was abandoned for a long time. A year, perhaps? Or perhaps even longer. Mew has no idea.
His memories were fuzzy and his brain seemed clouded. Mew didn't notice it earlier but his heart was weighing with an indescribable pang of sadness and guilt.
Before he knew it, Mew was on his knees wailing aloud. It was only then memories of Gulf and him flashed by his mind.
The fuzziness and the clouds dissipated as memories of them both became apparent.
A faint smile tugged on his lips when good memories played in his head.
Mew had no idea why — what had happened to them, but he could recall that they were at their breaking point yet both refused to admit it.
Had Mew been less selfish in letting him go, things wouldn't become this drastic.
It was too late now.
Mew wailed even louder when the tragic night flashed through his mind.
Mew closed his eyes and hit the floor repeatedly. He hated himself and wished he was dead.
He continued crying, begging for whoever was up there to return Gulf to him, for all this to be just a dream but his calls weren't heard.
Mew then stood up and removed the cloths and plastic covering and through eyes stained with tears, Mew shifted the furniture and placed it back in its original place.
"Gulf will be back. All this is just a dream... Gulf wouldn't leave me, he promised that he would stay forever. We love each other so deeply."
Tears continued rolling down his cheeks as he continued chanting while moving the furniture back to its rightful place.
"Gulf…."
Gulf is gone but Mew couldn't accept it.
The love of his life is now gone….forever.
- Writer
