The O'Connells Box Set

Chapter 20

She’d rinsed out the blood from her mouth before looking into the tiny chipped and cracked mirror in the bathroom, taking in her face and loose tooth. Her mouth and jaw were tender from how hard Manny had hit her, and she could see the redness and the slight swelling. She winced when she moved it and knew it was already starting to bruise.

She’d never been hit by a man until she went to prison, where she’d learned the hard way that talking about it and reporting it would only come back on her. She may not have understood before why women who were assaulted didn’t report it, didn’t get help, but she understood now. The abuser was always heard first, and then came the retaliation, the loss of rights, the cruelty in a world that continued to take everything from her. She had her eyes wide open now.

She took in the mattress and the tossed blankets. Her only clothes had been pulled from the small three-drawer dresser, which was now wide open, onto the dirty old carpet. Well, Manny had made his point. He really could do anything to her. And she knew exactly who had gone to him: Marcus. How had she ever thought there could be a shred of decency in there?

Her legs were shaking as she took in the clock on the stove, seeing it was already seven. Her heart ached with the tears she’d cried over not seeing Eva. This was breaking her. But as much as she wanted to see her, she wouldn’t survive if she was sent back to prison.

She reached for the bargain crispy cereal in one of the two old cupboards, grateful at least that Manny hadn’t dumped it out to make his point. She opened the box and pulled out the plastic bag in which she’d hidden a cell phone, even though it wasn’t logical to hide it. Maybe over time she’d shake all the fears that had come from living behind bars. It had changed her, and she couldn’t shake the need to be quiet about everything she had or did.

She unwrapped the black cell phone she’d picked up at a corner store and pulled it out, then dialed, put the phone to her ear, and stared at the closed door, hearing voices outside, likely the people who lived next door or upstairs. Strangers she didn’t know, and no one she trusted.

She listened to the ring on the other end, then another as she pulled an arm across her chest,

“Hello?” His voice was deep and low.

“Hi, Dad. It’s Reine…”

“Hey, where are you?”

There it was. She had all his attention. She slid her hand to her chest. “That’s why I’m calling, to thank you for getting me out, for your lawyer. I’m in Livingston. I have a job, a place… I’m on parole.”

Her dad said nothing, and she thought she heard voices in the background. Where was he, exactly? She didn’t know for sure, but it could be the place she knew he had down in Florida with his new wife.

“So you need anything?” he said. “You doing okay?”

She had to remind herself he was her dad, and he cared. How much had he paid for a lawyer to get her out, a good lawyer? More than she would ever be able to repay.

“I’m good, I’m just…” She squeezed the phone, remembering well how her father had cut her out because she’d married a man he didn’t want for her. He could be a hard man when people didn’t see things his way. “I want to get Eva back.” There, she’d said it. “I went to see Eva this morning at Marcus and Charlotte’s, and…”

“What are you doing, Reine?” Her dad cut her off quite sharply. “You don’t get to have her back. You let those people adopt her. Do you not recall that? I told you not to do it, but you wouldn’t listen to me. I told you that you would regret it. I wanted to take her, I told you I would raise her, but do you remember what you said to me?”

There it was, her good old dad, who expected her to fall in line with his way of thinking always. It had been worse after her mother died. The hardness in his voice was a vicious reminder of why it was easier not to talk to him.

“I remember my back was to the wall, and I needed to make sure Eva was okay,” she said. “You went to the O’Connells and told me they cared for her, that she was looked after, that they loved her and she was happy. Do you remember that, Dad? You assured me what you saw there was a happy family, and my daughter was okay. But if you want the truth of the matter, I’ll tell you what it felt like, growing up under your thumb. You never listened to me or heard me. I was always to fall in line with your thinking. Remember, do what I say or else? Then there was Vern, my husband, remember? You never showed up for my wedding, your only daughter. And you couldn’t bury your dislike of a man whose only sin was not agreeing with you. Vern was his own man, and he wouldn’t stay quiet like everyone else when you had an opinion about someone or something that—”

“Oh, here we go. Everything in your life is my fault, and I was a horrible father.”

She shut her eyes, because this was going nowhere, the head butting. She could feel herself ready to hang up in anger, but she couldn’t do that, because this was about Eva, and she’d swallow anything for her daughter.

“No, Dad, it’s not your fault. I never said that. Can we not fight, please? Eva being with the O’Connells was the best thing for her, and unfortunately, being locked up, I didn’t have the luxury of imagining what if. But I’m out now, and she’s my daughter, Dad. I want her back. I’m her mother…”

She heard the deep sigh on the other end before she’d finished.

“Reine, you gave her away. You signed away your rights and let them adopt her. I told you that once you did that, she wouldn’t be yours anymore. I did everything to reason with you, telling you not to go that far…”

“I had no choice. I had to do what was best for Eva, and at the time, seeing she had stability with people who loved her and wouldn’t let anything happen to her was what I needed for her. If they adopted her, no one from social services could walk in and shove her somewhere else where she wouldn’t be okay. I listened enough to the stories of other mothers locked up, their kids separated and pulled away from them for no reason but that some bureaucrat decided so. Those kids were always tossed in some place that was worse than before. I couldn’t have that. Marcus and Charlotte, I knew they cared for her and would protect her and keep her safe, but I’m her mother, and now I’m out, and as much as they say they care for her and love her, I’m still her mother…”

“And what can you provide her, exactly? A home? Stability? Isn’t that what landed you in the mess you were in? You may be her mother, Reine, but you think you can walk back in and just take her? She’s not yours anymore. I don’t know how to get you to understand. Sometimes things can’t be fixed…”

“Well, there is a way, and a good lawyer can present that argument. One good thing about being in prison is that you hear things, and I heard someone say something her lawyer had told her about the kids she’d given up in jail. There are circumstances where an adoption can be overturned, like in cases of duress or fraud. The DA tried to strip me of my parental rights. Wouldn’t that fall under both?”

She had all the arguments running through her mind already—the poverty she’d been forced into after losing everything, the nightmare of living on the streets and meeting Tommy. Not a day went past that she hadn’t thought of the man who’d been the only one to offer a helping hand, as flawed and screwed up as he was. She still relived the horror of that night over and over, playing through the what-ifs in her mind. What if she hadn’t gone along with him? What if she hadn’t handcuffed Marcus?

“Reine, you always had unrealistic expectations. What you’re talking about is years of legal fighting, and lawyers cost money. I got you out, but Gregor Smith wasn’t cheap. I had to put the cottage in Maine up for sale to pay his bill, and Lori wasn’t happy about that.”

She knew his second wife was two years younger than she was. She’d never met her and realized she didn’t want to.

“I’m sorry you had to sell your second home,” she said. Or was it his third? She wasn’t sure anymore what he had. “But I appreciate what you did for me, putting the money out. I’ll pay you back. I don’t know how, but I’ll do it.” She fisted her hand, realizing she’d have to swallow it, but for Eva, she’d get down on her knees and beg.

“Oh, stop it. You couldn’t even put a roof over your head before. How the hell are you going to pay me back? You’re my daughter, Reine.” There it was, another slap before he went back to his fatherly duty.

“Dad, we lost everything when my husband had cancer. His health insurance with the fire department started denying coverage, finding loopholes. I was stuck with hundreds of thousands in medical bills. They took our house, and my wages were garnished. You make it sound as if it was my fault…” The minute she said it, she realized he’d never understand, and he didn’t like being painted into a corner, having anyone point out to him that he could be wrong. “Look, I didn’t call you to fight or argue, Dad. I need help…please.”

He said nothing. It was always that silence with him that got her. “I’d do anything for you, Reine. You’re my daughter. But I gave you a choice before, and if you had listened to me, we wouldn’t even be having this conversation and I wouldn’t be tossing away all this money.”

She could hear the no coming. She pressed her thumb and forefinger to the bridge of her nose and looked down, shutting her eyes tight, feeling a tear slip out. “Please, Dad, do you want me to beg?” Her voice caught, and she willed herself to pull it together. Her dad wasn’t a man who dealt with emotional women. He expected her to pull it together. That was how he’d raised a teenage daughter eating her heart with grief. Her mother had been the glue that held them together. “Sorry, I’m just really tired. But I’ll do anything. Please…” She kept her voice even, calm. She had to with him.

“I’ll talk to Lori about it, but hear me on this, Reine. You’ll need to listen to me this time if I do this.”

She nodded. She knew that would mean him telling her what to do, what he expected, but right now she’d agree to anything. “And Gregor Smith, you’ll call him?”

“Reine, I’ll talk to Lori first, because this affects her too. Gregor Smith isn’t cheap. If we do this, you have to do everything he says, everything we say. That’s the only way this works.”

There was something about his terms that she’d never been able to live with, but when she had nothing, she knew there was no other way.

“I understand, Dad. Thank you.”

He mumbled a rough goodbye, and she held her cell phone, pressing it to her forehead.

Hearing a knock on her door, she grabbed the plastic bag, her heart hammering, wondering whether Manny was back. She shoved the cell phone inside it and back into the cereal box deep enough that the crispy rice covered it.

“Just a minute,” she called out, putting it back in the cupboard and closing it before walking barefoot to the solid old door, wishing she at least had a peephole to look through, that early warning so she knew who was on the other side.

She closed her eyes for a second, her heart hammering, and then turned the knob and pulled the door open. Staring back at her was Ryan O’Connell with a woman and two men she’d never seen before, and Marcus was in back behind all of them.

Her heart sank, and she squeezed the knob, feeling that anger and fear coming from nowhere. All she said was, “What do you want?”

Was he there to arrest her? Maybe Manny was being true to his word.

She’d expected Marcus to grind her into the ground, but he said nothing. Instead it was Ryan who stared at her with an odd look and said, “We came to have a talk, Reine. Can we come in?”

There it was, the one thing she did have control over. She kept her hand on the door.

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” she said. “In fact, just you being here, all of you…” She dragged her gaze, taking in each of them, wondering who they all were. “You’re putting a target on me and could have me back behind bars. Unless that’s why you’re here.”

“No, Reine, that’s not why we’re here,” Marcus cut in from in back. He was tall, all the men were, and she had to look up. Even the woman with long hair pulled back in a ponytail was taller than she was. “But I want to know first, who did that to you?”

There was something about him when he spoke. She realized she wanted to believe he cared, but she couldn’t do that, not ever again. She made herself look away from him, her hand on the door, wondering, if she could just close it, would they walk away and leave her be?

Reine kept her mouth shut and forced herself to give her head a shake, taking them all in. Were they all family, the ones she didn’t know? “Nothing happened. Now, I’m going to say it only once more. Please leave.”

This time she went to close the door, but a hand reached out and slapped it, Ryan. The sound shot right through her, and she jumped back, feeling the fear again, her hand going to her chest, her heart hammering, stepping back again and again. When he stepped inside, she struggled to catch her breath, her back against the wall.

A hand reached out and touched her shoulder, and she took in the woman, who said, “Someone hurt you. Reine, I can see you’re terrified.”

Her breath caught as she stared at this woman she didn’t know. “Who are you?” was all she got out.

Her eyes were a vivid blue, looking down at her. “I’m Suzanne O’Connell, and we’re not leaving until you tell us who did this to you.”