My Mother's Boyfriend

Say My Name

Maya

Alejandro spreads the thick red picnic blanket under the shade of an old oak tree, and I unpack our lunch. It’s Monday evening and nobody is in sight besides us. He said that nobody had come here since a shooting happened some years back, and I could not help but wonder if his family had anything to do with it, but I stayed quiet.

The atmosphere seems light, but a lingering tension hovers.

My mother being his past lover, is all I can think of. Everybody knew how pretty she was; it was all over the tabloids, so I felt insecure as well. Am I pretty enough? Does Alejandro think I am prettier? I want to be considered prettier than her, by him. If I am being honest- to all that knew of them. I am petty but I know everyone is judging me, no matter whether some believed his made-up story about my mother being his ‘girlfriend’s mother’ all the time and not being his actual woman.

Resentment is also there. I often wonder if she hadn’t died, if their relationship would have been going on still. The Noimichaels- Michaels as the world knows them by, are known to use and discard and I did not want to think of my mother that way.

I wanted to think of her as being in love and being cherished by that same love.

But I also didn’t want to think of her being with Alejandro forever...Am I relieved she’s dead? No, I couldn’t possibly be...no... guilt racks me daily. I want to get to the bottom of her death as well. She was murdered ...and did it have anything to do with the Noimichaels? Was she murdered because of her involvement with them? I no longer believed Alejandro had anything to do with her death. He might be cold, but I got to know him, and I came to realise he cares deeply. And he cared for my mother, so he won’t harm her.

Was it...jealousy or something more complex? My thinking has changed so much in the past week. I used to think, months ago, it was Alejandro. Then weeks ago, something involving him caused her death indirectly. Then days ago... I could not deny it. There was another scenario at play in my mind.

My heart is heavy and my thoughts are jumbled when I think of my grandparents.

Alejandro knows something is bothering me, but he does not pry. Trying to break the ice, he makes a casual comment about family memories from when his mother brought them here as kids and Angelo pulled on every girl he saw, hair with ponytails.

“He only tugged on the ponytail ones because he said they were like his horse’s tail.”

My smile faded because I remembered my own mother who had a difficult time convincing me to move on from the hairstyle to a more refined bun. It seems everything circles back to her. I am racked with guilt.

Hesitating, I confront him about his past affair with my mother. “What did my mum say when you brought her here?” It’s pure jealousy and it enrages me.

The air grows thick with unspoken emotions. Alejandro's face flushes with regret and shame. He stammers, attempting to explain. “I- how did you get there? We were having a great morning, no?”

"I cannot get past it, Alejandro. Knowing my mother got to taste you and feel you as I am," I admit, my voice trembling with jealousy.

“Corino, I swear-” Alejandro reaches for my hand, but I pull away, tears welling in my eyes, and he breaks off what he is about to say.

My mother did leave my father for this man. And now I know why. He- the way he- my body heats up just thinking of the last few days and my cheeks grow red. This is how he made my mother feel as well... I feel disgusted with myself, understanding why my mother had been unfaithful in her marriage, for now, I know.

Even now, when I want to smash his head open, I am burning with desire. Knowing only he could ease my lava heat.

His d**k is magical.

I’m nearly positive he could persuade a nun to jump into his bed.

After a heavy silence, I took a deep breath and continued, “There’s something else.” Seeing his sad expression as he crossed his legs opposite to me, I sat as well, my legs beneath me but to the side. “I want to investigate my mother’s murder.”

His eyes widen in shock.

“I need to know what happened and why. I need closure for myself and Tony.” During the months we spent together and knowing what he is capable of, I also do not think he is capable of what they accused him of. Even I at first thought he was the culprit but the conversation between my brother and myself yesterday had me thinking darker.

More sinister ...about my blood-related family. My grandmother more specifically. Which also would have me conscious of my father’s role as well. Did he know what his parents were capable of?

Alejandro takes a few moments before he speaks, his voice steady but soft...caring. “Maya, baby. I already have someone looking into it already. I wanted to know myself.”

It’s as if a burden was lifted from my chest.

It wasn’t him. Alejandro never harmed my mother. He loved her!

My insecurity leaves temporary and I do a quick scan of our surroundings, I note nobody is around. We are in a public park but- hurriedly, I straddle him, sinking my soft area to fall directly on him, gasping in sweet relief then, and my mouth finds his as I rub myself against him.

Bold, is what I have become.

Nothing in the world feels better than his touch. And I find myself regretting not insisting he did his husbandly role on our wedding night. As his wife, I should have demanded it!

Groaning loudly, he pulls me down more firmly, his hands on my waist guiding me along his now semi-erect member. I hate him for the time he spent with my mother, but I want him so badly that my brain wants to explode.

I gasp out loud, my head falling back as his mouth finds its way into my no-bra today dress and is sucking on my already hardened n*pple.

“Take me now,” I manage to say in between moans, and he braces my back as he lays me on the blanket and soon discovers it’s also a no-panty day as well. “Jesus fcuking Chr*st Maya. Are you trying to give me a heart attack?”

Growling, he playfully bites my inner thigh, causing me to yelp and his fingers find their way inside me. As good as that felt, I wanted a better one. Bigger blast, so I push his hand away, my hands on his belt buckle.

He sucks his fingers that had my juice and replaces it with his c*ck. It’s so- dirty and erotic at the same time.

My screams are blocked by his hand but later that night, in the privacy of our bedroom, he encourages it. “Say my name baby.”

Feeling embarrassed, I do not and he repeats it, pausing his waist movement to encourage me, but I still do not. I feel...that’s ...I cannot explain it but I think it’s repulsive. I don't need to say his name, I know it’s him.

Expertly, he flips me, so I am straddling him, and I cry out, feeling him deeper in me than ever before. Both my hands fall on his chest to hold myself up, my loose hair falling forward.

“Tsk, tsk, tsk,” he teases. “My name.”

Still, I do not say it but cry out loudly when he grinds me against him. Twitching inside me, he demands it again. “I want you to, Maya. I want to know that you know who is doing this to you. Who is fulfilling you like no other.”

My breath catches when he grinds us together again. My entire body feels exhausted- weak...I cry out again when he repeats it but slowly. Oh, so low.

His hands on my waist he shows me how to move and I mimic the movements, my hair dropping on his chest as I gasp out, tears flowing down my cheeks as a different sort of sensation comes over me. My knees on his sides cannot find the strength to balance me.

Familiar but foreign. I feel a throbbing numbness, but it’s a movement I do not want him to stop.

One of his hands closed around my throat and he guides me back up, my hair a mess around me. He made an animal sound when I opened my mouth, my teeth closing down on a finger he had pressed onto my lips. “Maya,” he calls in an almost strangled voice, but I feel like I cannot move. I cannot explain what is happening to me.

I feel as if I am... floating.