My Mother's Boyfriend

Maya's Diary

Alejandro

My very first kiss.

I stare at the non-cursive writing that tickles my brain cells, with the letter ‘i' in the word kiss, dotted with a tiny heart shape. It was the last line of the page, written in a sky-blue coloured ink.

She wanted to be kissed on her birthday?

I’d read it less than two minutes back and moved along to the other page, thinking nothing much of it until the words on the last page which also happened to be the page after, before the words started to settle in my head.

My mind absorbed slowly.

The last page had contained the words of a typical teenage girl...of around fifteen or sixteen who expected their first kiss to be on their birthday but was left disappointed. Sad and hurt.

It stated; my birthday was ‘mind-numbing'. No balloons, no cake, just an empty room that I call my home now. This house is just a bigger prison for me. It’s worse than home- by home here, I know she meant her father’s house- my expected joy turned to silence. Another year, another let-down. Is this what growing up feels like?

No friends cheering, no balloons, no cake, no presents unwrapping, just the solitude echoing in this empty room.

My facial features are etched with concern, of some sort when I read the next line.

No Anthony. No mama...is this the new norm? Does growing up mean leaving behind the joy of simple gatherings? Will I die a nun? The last sentence was in all capital letters, and I could tell she really pressed on the point tip of the pen, there for the ink was deeper.

She cared for her absent mother...a bit. Her words affected me somehow and it surprises me that I feel this deeply about her. My eyebrows pull together.

I suppose I should have known she was like any other person her age and wanted a big bash with her friends, loud music, and alcohol with no parents around. I mean we all had those. Just a few months ago, Thomas had his at a discoteca (club). Honestly, she did not seem the type either. May behaves as if she would rather read a book and say ‘yawn’ at the mention of loud music and loud chatter.

But it was a fact; Maya did not have a party and she wanted one.

And I had no idea it was my wife’s birthday three days ago either.

And third, I flipped back to the previous page; ...she’s never been kissed.

I studied the words as if they were the most foreign language I had seen. In truth, it was. How could Maya be nineteen and not even have...wait so this means...

No way. Is she a vrigin?

My head takes in this bit of vital information as I slam her diary close.

A diary. I should have known by that alone. Who keeps a diary at this age? Literally nobody. No wonder Maya does not use the pool...she’s way shy. Her background is deeply embedded in her. I think of how modestly she dresses...it explains so much.

Replacing the book onto the little table she uses as a desk because she does not like to use the actual study room and rather stay inside my bedroom, I position it exactly between her other books just as I found it- and upside down too.

Hands now on either side of my waist, I am deep in thought.

Her dreams of a lively celebration were shattered. Disappointed, in myself that I had not even bothered to remember her little bragging about her being nineteen soon. And it does not even occur to me that I am being more considerate to her now.

Seems that my very much inexperienced teen-wife wonders if this is her new norm...even though I know it is, as I have deemed it so, my forehead which is already furrowed, deepens. Maya is under the impression that being married- she refers to this as ‘growing up’ means; leaving behind the joy of her simple gatherings.

Joy? She had joy? So simple-minded is Maya? She might have had a good childhood- childhood. Nothing about Maya is adult in her mind. So how could she long for what she never had? Being sheltered as she has been, may be a good thing but now that she is married to me, she has to begin the next chapter in her life. Forget wife...we shall celebrate her. Her coming into womanhood and leaving all playful things behind. A huge step forward.

Unconsciously, I make a mental note to get her an actual desk, taking my phone out of my jacket pocket to find my contact named Simon, at the same time.

I remember that time when I left home straight out of high school, vowing to never return to my family home and made it only a few months alone. By the time they found me, I was practically begging to come back here. But during those months, I was hungry a lot and afraid to use any cards for fear of being tracked, I got odds jobs here and there to survive- which I barely did. I was cold and tired and missed my family. Christmas was the worst- not the presents but just seeing everyone bustling around and looking happy and it was all because of family made me miss mine.

So yeah, a non-birthday party to her is a stark reminder of the passage of time and the loneliness it can bring. I understand exactly how she feels.

Sunday evening 2 pm

“Let’s go,” I place my hand on the small of Maya’s back, pushing her slightly forward, hanging up the phone, full of confidence that this is one thing she will love. “Your first present has arrived.” Ushering the protesting girl out our bedroom door, I can see some things start making sense to her when she furrows her eyebrows slightly. Like why I insisted she wear this particular dress for our late lunch.

A deep red long flowing cocktail dress with matching shoes and a tiny purse. It was the heels she was protesting about. Maya wanted me to understand that she was learning to wear heels, but she was not there yet.

When I insist she wear them just for an hour, she nods in true Maya fashion. She accepted my words and placed a smile upon her face. It suited her. The way she fit in so calmly- just the perfect wife. She never gave me any grief or cause to worry. Obedient is what she is, and it blended well with me. No hiccups or anything remotely close to what I half-expected from her since the first time I met her when she barged into the room threatening to call the police on me, when I went to negotiate some things with her father.

I expected her to be the same after marriage- troublesome, and loud but she seemed quite the opposite. In some ways, Maya seemed ...posh. Meek because of her innocence but very ladylike. I admired her for it. She was not like mama, or my sister.

Her wavy hair bounces with the steps she takes downstairs, and I rush forward to place her arm on my extended one for her to go with my much slower pace. She knows what I meant as we have done this a few times before and she blushes in embarrassment, but I simply pat her arm with my other free hand before pushing it into my pants pocket.

Maya does not ask me what her present is.

Everyone is standing when we enter the room and Maya almost comes to a screeching halt- almost tipping forward. How? I have no idea- maybe it is the four-inch heels she wears.

“I wanted to include this guy today this is why we are having lunch and not a dinner party,” I whisper to her as she gawks at each of my family members slowly. They all returned her smile brightly as they clapped but not loudly.

Rooted to the spot still, I realised that Maya still did not fully grasp what was happening even while it was. I mean I did tell her we were having a birthday lunch for her today.

Anthony, her brother, is revealed from behind the others, and I feel her shuddering indrawn breath as my hand is on her waist.

“Maya!” Her brother launches himself forward and she bends in time to catch his hug and my hand drops. "Happy birthday sissy. Can you believe I am your present? How cool is that?"

Taking it all in, I noted then that I might have been speaking but Maya was not listening. It’s like she heard me but not all the way. She was in auto mode.

Lunch was a blast and Maya grabbed my hand under the table while we ate and thanked me. She asks how I managed to get the vampire to agree to send her brother here. By vampire, I know she means her grandmother- never had Maya made jokes with me before.

I gaze at her slightly made-up face that seems so beam from within. At that moment, I thought she was the most beautiful I had ever seen her.

It was easy, I simply threatened them. I told the ‘vampire’ that her son should allow Maya to see her brother or else. Of course, she had insisted on being told what ‘or else’ means and I had to bring Uma in it.

“He could meet his dead wife sooner.” I’d said it in a low and cold tone. She gave in then but insisted we bring the boy back before dark.

By the time her brother leaves, I feel like retreating to my room, but I cannot. Because one, Maya also sleeps there, so what is the point? And two, I must kiss her tonight as per her birthday wish. I figured I was the better choice than what she had, right? If she kissed Peter or any one of my men- most likely death to her from my family if they found out. And two, I am her husband after all, and I will not take that too kindly either.

Technically, she belongs to me.

It does seem to me that she does not want to kiss anyone else from her age circle where she has the most private time and away from us. University.

Then am the only other option she has. I am safe. I will not take advantage of her.

I grimace at the truth I have been faced with since the last entry of her diary.

It must be me.