My Eyes On You

Blue eyes

He seemed to be considering her confession. Removing

the arm that had been around her shoulders, he took in a

deep breath. “Leah, that‟s big,” he commented. He wiped his face with his hands.

“Please don‟t say I‟m only kidding myself,” Leah

implored. “I know what I feel.”

He chewed on his lower lip. “It‟s just that you‟re so innocent,” he said. “I don‟t know if it would ever work.”

Leah felt her heart fall. “Are you planning to go to the bar?” she asked.

“I don‟t know,” he admitted, palms open.

“Please don‟t go,” she breathed. In despair, she fell over sideways onto the bed.

Cameron dove down after her. “Leah, Leah, Leah,” he said.

She couldn‟t say anything because she was crying.

He put his face close to hers. “Can I kiss you?” he asked.

Trembling, she nodded. Their lips met in warmth. It was sweet, and soft.

“It‟s just that you‟ve never made a move on me,” he said.

She smiled, swallowing her tears. Cameron and Leah became a couple. All their friends started calling them “girlfriend” and “boyfriend.” He was respectful of her. but at the same time, eager to explore physicality with her.

It was only a week after they first started dating that they consummated their relationship. Cameron was

careful to ask permission before each new, little move he tried. Leah always said yes.

The morning after they first made love, Leah got up quickly into the cold, morning air, completely n***d. Her skin looked pale against the midnight black of her hair, and her crystal blue eyes were shining with life. Cameron pulled her back down to the bed.

“Where are you going?” he asked.

“Class, of course,” she responded.

He chuckled. “Can‟t you just skip class this once?

You kind of had a big night last night. You don‟t have your first time very often.”

Leah gave him a quick, sincere smile. “I‟d love to, but I‟ve missed too much already. I can‟t afford another absence.”

He smiled groggily as he rested his head against his hands. His bare skin looked creamy in the morning light.

“Well, at least smoke a bowl with me before you go,” he suggested.

“If it‟s a quick one,” she said. She went to class feeling happy and hazy. She

couldn‟t remember a word of what the professor said, but she was flying high the whole time.

Cameron treated her well. He appeared from out of nowhere to steal a kiss between classes; they ate lunch

together on the grass in the courtyard; they spent countless hours talking,

laughing.

Leah was enjoying one of those rare times in her life when she felt that she was truly happy. Leah moved into his dorm room. There were rules on

campus against that sort of thing, but she did so in secret, and her roommate promised not to tell anyone.

One day she bundled up her clothing, carried it across campus, and emptied it in Cameron‟s room. No one ever found out.

They maintained their d**g habits. People were always coming in and out of the room in order to chat and smoke pot.

Pretty soon, both of them were drained of funds. They decided to start selling.

Cameron was the one who dealt with the finding and bargaining. Leah merely provided a few dollars here and there when needed. Soon, they were selling not only w**d in school.

They gained a reputation at the school for being the biggest and the best d**g dealers. Daily, customers would come to the room, purchase their wares, and sometimes smoke them right there.

It was like high school again: Leah was dizzy and intoxicated all the time, and again, waiting to graduate.

She loved Cameron. But realistically, she knew that he did not love her. They started to have fights about it. Leah thought it had something to do with the many meaningless relationships that he had had before her—that somehow, his heart had been hardened.

She was bothered by it, but didn‟t let it consume her thoughts. She didn‟t want their relationship to be ruined by it.

Justice came to her, crying one day. “I‟m so f*****g depressed,” she said. “My life is crap. Do you have any drugs". “Well…there is this one little bit of acid, but we were kind of saving it for

Valentine‟s Day,” she said.

Justice clasped her hands together. “Oh, please?” she begged. “We can split it. I just need…something.” Leah reluctantly agreed. Cameron was in class, so she carefully pulled out the plastic-wrapped square of blotter.

“Cameron is going to be so mad at me,” she breathed.

That night was a school dance. Leah borrowed a long, blue dress from Justice and was applying her makeup when a call came in on Justice‟s phone.

“It‟s Cameron,” she said, dropping the receiver to her hip. “He knows.”

Leah smiled sheepishly. “Is he mad?” she asked. Justice said a few words into the phone, then turned back to her. “He says he feels betrayed,” she said.

Leah knew she had made a mistake. Cameron wasn‟t even willing to talk to her over the phone.But she decided to go to the school dance, anyway. As she walked in, the music was blaring, and the students were all wearing beautiful dresses and sharp outfits.

“I don‟t suppose Cameron will show up,” Leah mumbled to Justice.

But he did. Even though they still weren‟t on

speaking terms, somehow they found themselves dancing slowly in front of each other. Leah didn‟t want to press the issue. She didn‟t want to say anything and make him mad.

By now, she was tripping heavily and she didn‟t know if she could deal with a tongue lashing on top of it. She said nothing until the dance was over with, and everyone was leaving and putting on their coats.

“Do you want me to come home with you tonight?”

He looked up slowly to her.

She was having trouble expressing herself. “I mean, should I stay the night in Justice‟s room or are you too

mad at me, or what?” She looked down at her shoes, getting involved in a particularly deep scratch on the right one.

“I‟m just mad at you, Leah. That doesn‟t mean I‟m going to throw you out into the street.”

Leah nodded her head slowly. “I‟ll get my stuff, then,” she said. “I left it with Justice.”

Back in Cameron‟s room, Leah started crying. The d**g, even though she had only taken a half, was making her

emotional. Cameron just watched her cry, not saying anything or making any move to comfort her.

Even though she was desperately tired, she couldn‟t sleep. Her tears seemed to last forever.

By the morning, Cameron and Leah were talking. “I‟m sorry I took the acid,” she said, looking into his sky blue eyes.