10 Chapters about HIM

Chapter 5

"I'm truly sorry Megan, that you feel that way; I'm sincerely sorry."

I received a message from him, and after reading it, I fell into tears once more. I believe that it is my fault that I fall in love. Part of me also thinks it's his responsibility for showing something that made me fall in love. I feel foolish and ashamed of what happened to me. It's my first time being really in love with someone, and it feels awful. I can't believe it happened like way. I didn't want to go to school; I simply wanted to stay at home and sleep all day. But I still get up and go to school because my parents would assume something is wrong if I didn't, and I don't want to worry them about me. I wasn't in the mood to talk when I got at school, not even to Allison. She often asks what happened to me, but I simply shrug and say I'm alright.

And it gets worse; every day I wake up with no energy or motivation; I feel like a zombie; I can't even focus in class, and my grades are dropping. I'm not sure why, and I can't explain what's happening to me with Allison. Every night, I sobbed and woke up with swollen eyes. When I see Lhuyd in school, my heart hurts.

My teacher informed us that our summer break was approaching, and she then assigned us one final project. Allison told me something that stung me even more when our teacher left the classroom: Megan, did you know that Lhuyd has a girlfriend? He told me yesterday when we had a mass to attend at church.

Oh, you're serious? That's fantastic, and I'm happy for him. "I told her."

Are you all right? You're not fine. Megan, please tell me what’s wrong.

I fell into tears and finally told Allison what was wrong with me.

Allison, I was in love with Lhuyd, and I assumed he felt the same way since he made me feel so special every time we were together. But it is not true; he has never had feelings for me; I am simply a friend to him. With a shaky voice, I said.

Then, why didn't you tell me immediately away that you were in hurt? Megan. I shouldn't back you.

I can't tell you right away because I'm too shy. I felt embarrassed of myself.

I'm sorry to say this, Megan, but do you think it's your fault? because you have unreasonable expectations that he has feelings for you? She asked.

I'm offended and upset after hearing what Allison said. Because not even my best friend understands me. Yes, I admit that I expected too much, but I still need someone to comfort me, not to blame me for my mistakes at this time.

I merely remarked to her, "Well, maybe I'm that stupid." I'm going home since I'm tired and want to sleep. I'll simply work on my own project at home.

I didn't say anything to her. When I handed in my project to my teacher the next day, I went straight home since I didn't want to hang out with Allison anymore. Right now, all I have is me; I don't want to trust anyone.