Renee

Pride and expectations

Kara sat cross-legged on my bed, flipping through a magazine she had brought over. She was always at ease in my room, as if it were hers too. The late afternoon sunlight streamed through the curtains, casting a warm glow on the walls. I leaned back against the headboard, scrolling through my phone, while Kara rattled on about the latest gossip at school.

“Did you see how Efe was looking at Tolu during math class?” she asked, her voice filled with amusement.

I glanced at her, raising an eyebrow. “And why would I notice that?”

“Because it was obvious! He couldn’t stop staring at her. Poor guy looked like he was about to trip over his own feet,” she said, laughing.

I chuckled softly, shaking my head. “You’re terrible, you know that?”

“Maybe. But at least I’m entertaining,” she said, flashing me a mischievous grin.

This was normal for us—spending hours in my room, talking about everything and nothing at the same time. It was one of the few moments in my life where I felt truly relaxed. My father, ever the perfectionist, had expectations that I could rarely escape. But here, with Kara, I could just…be.

We fell into a comfortable silence, the kind that only happens when two people have been friends for a long time. I let my mind wander, briefly considering the party my father had been talking about for days. It was supposed to be this grand event to celebrate his latest business deal, but it felt more like another obligation, another thing to check off the list. As always, my role was clear: I had to look perfect, act perfect, and keep up the family image.

“Hey,” Kara said suddenly, her tone softer now. “You’ve been really quiet today. Is everything okay?”

I shrugged, avoiding her gaze. “Yeah, just thinking about the party tonight. You know how my dad gets about these things. He’ll want everything to be perfect.”

She reached out and placed a hand on mine. “You don’t have to worry about that, Renee. You’re already perfect in his eyes. You’re his pride and joy.”

I smiled faintly at her words, but before I could reply, she leaned in closer. Her dark curls framed her face, and her eyes held a look I couldn’t quite place.

“Kara, what are you—”

Before I could finish, her lips were on mine.

I froze, my mind going blank. It wasn’t like the movies, where kisses were magical and full of sparks. This was confusing and overwhelming, and it felt…wrong.

“Kara, stop,” I said, pulling away and sitting up.

Her face fell, and she reached for my hand. “Renee, I’m sorry. I just…I thought you felt the same.”

“I don’t,” I said firmly, standing up and putting some distance between us. “I don’t feel that way about you, Kara. And you shouldn’t have done that.”

“Renee—”

The door creaked open, and my mother stepped inside. She froze, her gaze darting between the two of us. Her expression shifted from surprise to something much heavier—disappointment.

“I…sorry to interrupt,” she said, her voice strained.

“Mom, it’s not what it looks like,” I started, but she shook her head.

“Renee, I expect you downstairs soon. Your father wants to go over some final details for the party,” she said, her tone clipped.

Without waiting for a response, she turned and walked out, closing the door behind her.

Kara looked at me, her eyes filled with regret. “I’m sorry,” she whispered.

I shook my head, my anger bubbling to the surface. “You shouldn’t have done that, Kara. You crossed a line.”

“I didn’t mean to—”

“Just…go,” I said, turning away from her. “I don’t want to talk right now.”

She hesitated, but eventually, I heard her footsteps retreating, and the door clicked shut behind her.

I spent the next few hours in a daze, the events replaying in my mind. My mother’s face, full of disappointment, haunted me. I couldn’t stop thinking about how she’d looked when she saw me and Kara. I knew it wouldn’t just be forgotten. I had no idea how to explain it to her, or how my father would react if he found out.

Charles knocked on my door before pushing it open. At fifteen, Charles was still the playful, carefree kid he’d always been. He was rebellious in his own way, but not in the same way I was. He had this natural charisma, a quiet confidence that made him the center of attention without even trying. Unlike me, he didn’t try to fit into anyone’s mold.

“You ready for the party?” he asked, leaning against the doorframe, a lazy grin on his face.

I didn’t even bother looking up as I sat on the edge of my bed, mindlessly scrolling through my phone. “Yeah, I guess. I don’t really have a choice, do I?”

He raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms. “What’s up with you? You’ve been acting off all day.”

I shrugged, setting my phone aside. “It’s just everything. The party, the way Dad’s always looking for some new way to ‘show off.’ Sometimes, I feel like I’m not even allowed to be myself.”

Charles stepped into the room and plopped down beside me on the bed. “Look, Ren, I get it. I’m not exactly thrilled about this whole thing either. But you know what? It’s just a party. It’ll be over soon, and then we can go back to our normal lives.”

I couldn’t help but laugh at his laid-back attitude. “Normal lives? What’s normal about any of this?”

He grinned, nudging me. “You’re missing the point. We don’t have to be perfect, you know? You think Dad’s actually paying attention to how you act? He’s more interested in how many deals he can close, how many people are impressed by his ‘perfect’ family. But you don’t have to live up to that. Just be yourself.”

I stared at him for a moment. Charles, for all his quirks, was one of the few people who ever made sense when it came to handling Dad’s expectations. He wasn’t afraid to step outside the box, to challenge things in his own quiet way.

“You always know how to make things sound better. But I still feel like I’m stuck in a cage, you know? Like I have to be this… image of perfection all the time.”

Charles leaned back against the headboard, looking thoughtful for a second. “You’re not stuck. You just need to see it for what it is. Don’t let it get to you. You’ve got more power than you think.”

His words hit me harder than I expected. I had never really seen things from his perspective before. Maybe there was a way out of all this, a way to stop pretending to be what everyone expected.

“Thanks, Mike,” I said, offering him a small smile. “You always know what to say.”

“Anytime, sis. Just go down there, give Dad the show he wants, and then come back up here and we’ll figure out how to make it through the next one. Together.”

I felt lighter somehow after talking to him, as if some of the weight had been lifted off my shoulders. My younger brother was wise beyond his years, and even though he might not understand everything I was going through, he always knew how to bring me back to reality.

The hours before the party dragged on. I stayed in my room, trying to shake off the unease that had settled over me. My mother’s expression replayed in my mind like a broken record. I knew what she must be thinking, and the thought of facing her—or my father—made my stomach churn.

By the time the party began, I had managed to pull myself together, slipping into a sleek navy-blue dress my mother had picked out. I forced a smile and mingled with the guests, doing my best to be the perfect daughter my father expected me to be.

But it was all a blur—the polite conversations, the clinking glasses, the laughter that didn’t quite reach my ears.

Eventually, my father called for everyone’s attention. He stood in the center of the room, his tall frame commanding the space. His voice was steady and confident as he began to speak.

“Thank you all for coming tonight,” he said, smiling warmly at the crowd. “This evening marks an important milestone for both our family and our business.”

I frowned, a sense of foreboding settling over me.

“As many of you know, our families have worked together for years. Tonight, I am proud to announce a union that will strengthen our partnership even further.”

My heart sank as he turned to me, his smile widening.

“I am pleased to share that my daughter, Renee, will be marrying Kalim Okonji.”

The room erupted into applause, but I barely heard it. My mind was spinning, disbelief washing over me in waves.

“No,” I whispered under my breath.

My mother appeared at my side, placing a firm hand on my shoulder. “Smile, Renee,” she said through gritted teeth.

I looked across the room and saw Kalim standing with his family. He didn’t look surprised—in fact, he barely reacted at all.

But it was Kara’s reaction that caught my attention. Her face went pale, and she took a step back, shaking her head. Before anyone could stop her, she turned and bolted out of the room.

I didn’t follow her. I couldn’t. My anger at her was still too fresh.

Back in my room, I ripped off the dress and threw it onto the floor. I felt like a pawn in a game I didn’t even understand, a business transaction I had no say in. My father had turned my life into a deal for his gain. And Kara… what did her kiss even mean now? My emotions were a tangled mess of confusion and betrayal.

I reached under my mattress and pulled out the small stash of pills I kept hidden. A bitter smile tugged at my lips. Sometimes, it felt like the only thing that could make me forget everything—the perfect life, the perfect expectations—was something that helped me escape.

As I prepared to take one of the pills, I paused. My mind raced as I realized my stash was gone.

I started to panic, without those pills I would lose my sanity . I felt shaky, dizzy, and the heat in my chest threatened to spill over. Panic gripped me, and I stumbled to the mirror, staring at my reflection with a mixture of disgust and desperation.

“I hate you,” I whispered to the face staring back at me. “I don’t want to be you.”

I stood there, staring at my own eyes, as the weight of everything pressed down on me. The image of Kara’s face, my father’s plans, my own shattered sense of self—it all collided in that moment.

And then, everything went dark.