MY PUCKING SECRET!

CHAPTER 4- MY PUCKING SECRET IS OUT!

I didn’t move.

Not when Kade walked away like he didn’t just drop a grenade in my chest. Not when I heard the showers in his stall splashing water. Not even when Walker yelled something about the beer we were going to drink, getting laid, and God knows what else. I just… froze, my eyes locked on the floor like it was going to answer me. Like if I stared hard enough it’d swallow me whole and maybe that’d be easier than what was happening in my chest.

Breathe.

Just breathe Ashley.

Survive.

After a while, the room emptied like magic, laughter fading down the hall, doors slamming, a low hum of lights buzzing overhead.

Finally! There was no one in the locker room.

I moved fast. Bag on the floor, suffocating hockey gear ripped off. A large towel tied round my chest.

I slipped into the farthest shower stall and turned the water on before my brain could catch up, letting the steam curl around me, letting it shield me. My chest loosened just a fraction. Safe. For now.

A door creaked, and my blood froze on cue.

I could hear some calculated footsteps.

Oh no.

“Miller? You there?.”

It was Kade. His voice sounded really close to me. My heart slammed like it was trying to punch a hole through my ribs.

Think Ashley. Think fast. Think like your life depends on it.

I grabbed my towel, wrapped it around my chest. Safety first.

“Stalking me now?” I forced it casual, even though my voice shook a little.

“Why? You want to be stalked?” he said, voice low. “Why did you wait for an hour before hitting the shower?”

The shower walls seemed too thin to protect me.

If he pulled the door, my secret would be out.

“You know jerking off in the public shower is prohibited"

Huh? "Ewww. I mean. Ugh cap!" I said " why the hell would I do that. what do you take me for?"

There was silence on his end. I pulled my big shorts and sweater from the hanger and proceeded to wear it.

"You were the reason it was prohibited Miller" He said it like it was obvious. Like I should have known.

The words landed like a slap. f**k! I messed up.

I mentally face palmed. Why didn't Ash tell me?

"Uhh- well- I changed Cap. People change,” I said, voice thick with hesitation and doubt. I didn't even know if I was making it better or worse.

I needed to get out of here, and far away from him.

I made sure I had successfully concealed myself in my baggy clothes before pushing the shower stall door open.

He was right in front of me now.

He stepped closer. One step. Then another. My skin felt too tight, like I’d shrunk into myself. The air between us thickened,

“Not that much,” he said quietly, eyes sharp.

I laughed. Nervous and Hollow. “ What's up Milton? Writing a personality thesis on me now? Back off dude”

His mouth twitched in a little smile.

“Fine," he said, "You suspicious little fucker” smacking the side of my head.

I winced in pain but covered it with a laugh.

"And why the hell were you creeping around my stall?" I asked, fidgeting with my messenger bag.

"Just making sure you weren't doing that s**t again. If you want to jerk off, do it in the dorm's bathroom or even in the room. I don't mind."

That sounded super weird and pervertious. He didn't mind Ash m**********g in the room with him?

I was too cornered to even judge.

"Uh right. Cool" was the only thing my brain could afford.

We awkwardly walked out of the locker room and into the hallways. His steps were heavy beside me, it mirrored my many thoughts.

I put my head down, my feet gaining speed.

We needed to be away from him to recover and recoup.

"Yo! Miller! Slow down." I heard Kade Milton call from behind.

I pretended not to hear him.

Bad idea.

Because the next thing I knew, a hand wrapped around my arm and yanked me back.

I stumbled, spinning around to face him.

Kade.

Of course.

“What’s your problem?” he asked, brows drawn together, eyes already scanning my face like I was a puzzle he refused to leave unsolved.

“I don’t have a problem,” I said quickly, tugging my arm out of his grip. “I just want to get back to the dorm.”

“Yeah?” he said slowly. “You looked like you were running from something.”

You, I thought.

But I just shrugged.

“You thinking too much again, Cap.”

His eyes narrowed slightly.

“That’s funny,” he said. “Because I was just about to say the same thing about you.”

My stomach tightened.

Here we go. He stepped closer, his frame towering over me.

“You’ve been off all day,” he said.

“I’ve been fine."

“You waited an hour to shower.”

“And that's a problem?"

He had no concrete evidence or concern, just his sixth sense triggering.

I ducked around him and continued walking.

He easily caught up with me. We continued walking in silence.

“Why do you smell like that?” Kade f*****g Milton asked.

I blinked.

“What?”

He glanced at me, nose scrunching slightly.

“Like that,” he repeated. “Sweet. You smell like… I don’t know. Flowers or something.”

Oh. I stopped dead in my tracks.

Oh no. My entire soul left my body.

The body wash. Ashley, you i***t!

I forced a laugh.

“Since when do you care how I smell?”

“Since you stopped smelling like a guy,” he said bluntly.

Oh my God. Was this guy some detective?! Leave me the f**k alone bro!

Think Ash! Think fast.

“My sister gave it to me,” I blurted.

And immediately I regretted.

I felt it In my bones. In my spirit, In my ancestors.

Kade stopped walking.

Slowly turned his head toward me.

“You have a sister?”

Great, Fantastic! f*****g great Ash!

“Yeah,” I said, nodding like I hadn’t just given him the biggest evidence. “I mean, she’s not, like, my actual sister. Just… close. You know. Like family.”

Inside my head:

Ashley, shut up. Just shut up.

Kade kept looking at me, like he was trying his hardest to process what I'd just told him.

“And she gave you… what?” he asked.

“Body wash.” I answered weakly. I needed to leave This conversation, either by death or a heavenly miracle.

“Floral body wash.” he continued poking.

“Yes.”

“For you.”

“mmhm”

“And You're using it?”

“Is that a problem Cap? It was a gift”

He huffed a quiet laugh, shaking his head slightly.

“You’re weird, Miller.”

I forced a grin.

“You’re just noticing?”

He didn’t smile.

But he didn’t push either.

Which somehow made it worse.

I'd successfully made Ashton Miller a weirdo.

The walk back to the dorm felt longer than it should have.

Too quiet and tense.

Like we were both thinking too much and saying too little.

By the time we got inside, my nerves were shot.

Completely fried.

I dropped my bag by the door, stretching my neck like that would somehow reset my brain.

“I’m getting water,” I muttered to no one in particular.

Kade didn’t respond.

Didn’t even look at me.

He just sat on his bed, unpacking his bag.

Great.

I slipped into the small kitchenette, grabbing a cup and filling it with water.

My hands weren’t steady. I willed myself to breathe.

You survived the locker room Ashley, You even survived the hallway, barely, but a win nonetheless.

You’re fine.

I took a sip, the cold water calming me slightly.

You just need to go under the radar, do more personal research on boys and what they should and shouldn't say.

I downed the glass and another.

I took five deep breaths before squaring my shoulders and walking out of the kitchenette.

I froze midway into the room, because standing there, beside my bed, was Kade Milton with my bright red bra in his hand. My bra! Definitely not Male hockey player Ashton Miller.

When I thought it couldn't get any worse, my eyes drifted to my bed and I almost died of shock.

Because right there, next to where my bag had been, was a small pack of tampons.

Open, very obvious.

I was done.

Kade looked up slowly.

His gaze met mine.

“…You want to explain this, Miller?”

My mouth opened and closed like a gaping fish.

I had nothing. Nothing. Not a single word.

Because unless Ashton Miller had suddenly started bleeding once a month...There was absolutely no coming back from this one.