I was dead yesterday
1502 Words
I was dead.
I knew it.
There had been nothing at first.... No sound, no pain, no light. I remembered thinking, So this is how it ends.
Then something pulled me back, a voice, faint, distant.
"…Esme…"
My chest burned suddenly, air rushed into my lungs, sharp and painful, and I jerked upright with a gasp.
I was breathing.
My hands flew to my throat. No tube. No wires. No hospital smell.
The same room where I spent five years of my life.
I stared around, my heart pounding so hard it hurt.
"…I was dead," I whispered. The words sounded unreal.
I threw the blanket aside and stood up. My legs didn't shake. My body didn't feel weak. That alone terrified me.
The last thing I remembered was lying on a hospital bed, barely able to move, watching the woman my husband loved smile as she pulled my oxygen away.
I pressed my palm against my chest, and my wolf stirred inside me. Strong. Not the faint, dying presence she had been before.
A voice brushed against my mind.
"You're finally listening."
I froze.
"…Phoenix…. Is that… you're awake?" I whispered, unable to believe it.
Phoenix huffed softly, like she was annoyed. "I never left. You just stopped hearing me."
My throat tightened. In my last life, her voice had faded slowly until there was nothing but silence. I had thought it was because I was weak. Now she sounded clear.
"…What's happening to us?" I asked quietly.
"We're alive again," she replied. "That's what matters."
Alive again.
The smell of frosting hit me first, sweet, familiar. I stepped into the dining room and stopped.
A cake sat on the table.
Happy Birthday, Esme.
My knees nearly gave out. "No…" I whispered.
I had made that cake myself. I remembered staying up late the night before, trying to get the flowers right, waiting for Draven to come home and celebrate with me. Instead, I had found him at the Glass House, feeding another woman with his own hands.
My fingers began to tremble. "This is… the same day."
Memories hit me in waves, and my stomach twisted violently.
"I died," I said again, louder this time, as if saying it out loud would make it less real.
I rushed to the wall and checked the calendar.
The date. My birthday. The exact same day everything had started to fall apart in my last life.
My wolf spoke again, softer this time. "We were given another chance…"
I pressed my hands against the table to steady myself. "…Or we're trapped in a nightmare that's about to repeat."
The thought made my chest tighten with fear. What if everything happened the same way again? What if I still lost my son? What if I still died in that cold hospital room while they stood outside like I didn't matter?
"I don't want to die like that again," I whispered.
My wolf's voice was firm. "We won't."
---
"You're still standing there?"
The sharp voice cut through the room. I stiffened.
My mother-in-law walked in, her face already twisted in irritation. "Dressed like that… who are you trying to impress?"
The same words, same tone. Everything was repeating.
My heart started to race, but this time, I didn't lower my head.
"Didn't you hear me?"
I turned slowly to face her. "I heard you," I said.
She blinked, clearly not expecting that response. "Then why are you still standing there?" she snapped.
"What do you want, that I hurry into the kitchen?"
Regina stepped closer, anger flashing in her eyes. "You've gotten bold overnight. Let me remind you where you stand in this house."
Her hand came up.
In my last life, that slap had landed before I even understood what was happening. This time, I moved.
I dodged to the side and grabbed her wrist mid-air. Her hand froze inches away from my face.
Silence filled the room. Her eyes widened in shock.
I had never stopped her before. Never even tried.
"Don't touch me again," I said quietly.
Her mouth fell open. "What…. How dare you…."
I released her slowly. "I said don't lay your hand on me again," I repeated, my voice surprisingly steady.
Behind my calm face, fear clawed at me. What if this angered her enough to make things worse? What if changing things only made the future darker?
But my wolf spoke firmly inside my head. "Good. This old lady needed a lesson anyway. She's lucky you didn't let me take over." Phoenix scoffed.
I turned away from her stunned expression and looked back at the cake. It felt like a symbol of the girl I used to be, hopeful, waiting, desperate to be loved.
"How dare you touch me? When Draven comes, let's see how bold you get, you wretch!" Regina yelled before turning to leave.
I picked up my phone and took a picture of the cake, then posted it online.
Happy birthday to me. In this lifetime, I'll choose myself. Even if no one does.
A few seconds later, my phone buzzed. I glanced down, expecting a random notification. But the name on the screen made my breath catch.
Kael.
In my last life, we lost touch years ago. After my marriage, I lost touch with most people. I opened the message.
Happy birthday, Esme. I didn't forget.
My chest tightened in a strange way. Before I could even process that, my phone started ringing.
In my last life, I'd let the call ring until it stopped. Too tired, too afraid of questions I didn't know how to answer. This time, I swiped to answer.
"…Hello?" My voice sounded small even to me.
There was a soft exhale on the other end, almost like relief. "Esme," he said, his voice low and warm. "Happy birthday."
My throat tightened. "Thank you."
A pause stretched across the line. "How have you been… all this while?"
The question was simple, but it hit me harder than I expected. No one had asked me that in a long time, not in a way that sounded like they actually wanted to know.
"I've been… fine," I said automatically.
He hummed softly, not sounding convinced. "Just fine?"
I gave a small, awkward laugh. "What else should I say?"
"The truth," he replied, his tone patient. "You used to tell me everything. Then you disappeared."
My fingers tightened around the phone. "I got busy," I muttered, the excuse tasting bitter.
"Busy being unhappy?" he asked quietly.
My breath caught. Draven had never noticed when I was unhappy, never asked. But Kael sounded like he had been paying attention from far away all this time.
"That's not something you should be saying to a married woman," I tried to joke, hoping to lighten the weight in my chest. He didn't laugh.
"I'm saying it as someone who cares about you," he said instead. "That hasn't changed."
Silence stretched over the line. I stared at the cake in front of me, my hands trembling slightly.
"I sent you a gift," he added, as if giving me space to breathe. "It should arrive later today."
"You didn't have to," I murmured.
"I wanted to," he said simply. "And Esme… if things ever get too much, you can call me. Day or night. I mean that."
I swallowed hard. I had suffered alone until the very end, and hearing him say those words now felt unreal.
"You can use me if you have to. I don't mind."
My fingers tightened around the phone. In my last life, I had been too proud, too scared, too foolish to accept help from anyone. And I had lost everything, my son, my dignity, my life.
"Thank you…. For checking on me." My voice came out small.
"Anytime, Esme. Promise me you'll take care of yourself."
I laughed, despite everything. "Yes, sir!"
"Now that's better."
After the call ended, I stood there in silence. My wolf spoke again. "You're thinking of changing things."
"…I have to," I whispered. "I can't lose Noah again."
Just thinking of his small voice asking for another mother made my chest ache. "I want him to stay with me, and I want Draven to regret what he did."
The words felt strange on my tongue. In my last life, I had never wished him pain. Even when he slapped me, even when he chose another woman, I had only begged him to stay.
Phoenix's voice was low and approving. "Then stop begging. That jerk of a mate thought we are weak. Let's show him what he's lost."
I looked at Kael's contact. "You said I could use you," I murmured softly.
My reflection in the dark screen looked different. Not softer. Not broken.
"…Then I will."
If this life had given me another chance, I wasn't going to waste it by being the same weak woman I had been before. This time, I would use every tool I had.
Until he is crawling for forgiveness.
- Writer
