Onsra: A novel

Chapter Four : Christian Grey

"Papa, I'm so sorry. I miss you. I miss you. I miss you," the words that I uttered were jumping from my hiccups.

I hugged the frame beneath my heart, for him to feel my hurting heart, for him to feel how it hurts to be left, how it hurts that I was never the daughter he yearned me to be, and for all the regrets.

It has been three months since he was gone, and I'm still here— stuck in the timeline where his memories feel so real and alive. I remembered that song asking where do broken hearts go? I now know. Broken hearts go in the forest where there's no way in and out, but only in circles within its vicinity, turning and turning and turning, reliving the dead memories, until broken hearts tire and die. It's as if I'm in that forest, with no compass with me to move forward north—stuck inside the memory forest that cast fogs to my decisions of life, in between which way to go: north or south?

But one thing is for sure, I want to follow him where he is.

Soon. So we can live in the place where they both now stay, wherever that may be.

I don't know for how many minutes I curl like a ball on the floor, and I only realize now of what I have done—I am too engrossed with my emotions, Papa's frame is on top of my chest, as if protecting his frame can save him from that knife stab he had that led him to his death.

I did not even know that he was out, when I left him for my meeting with my editor, he was just in the living room, all eyes on his favorite television show again (all the television shows he had access to were all his favourites no matter how lame) and when I was outside the door, All I heard was his giant-like-laugh. I never thought it was the last laugh I heard from him. If I only knew, I could have recorded it, and repeat it over and over.

He was found outside the backdoor of an illegal pub by one of the policemen who had an operation there during that time—eyes closed and barely breathing, bore only a stab wound, the only stab wound that made him see the Grim Reaper. I did not ask any further of how he suffered, I couldn't bare to imagine it in my head.

There are many unanswered questions with his death, until now. How did he get into that pub? Who killed him? He had escaped death for how many times with his job being in a military, fought with armed rebels, but how come he was killed with just one stab wound straight through his heart? The NBI speculated that a gang has something to do with this again, since gang riots are mostly rampant in this area of the town—a rendezvous usually between gangs for gang wars, and gang trippings and killings, but I doubt it.

As far as I can remember, Papa has never gone to that place except for when he died. He abhors it there with its smell of cigarettes, acrid dried and wet sweat, bad breaths, and muggy feel from an enclosed space trapping the stench air inside; and Papa never had any gangster enemies to begin with. I don't know, but I don't believe it's the gangsters. This is something else.

They closed the investigation for Papa's murder. There are no witnesses on the said murder and their person of interests turned out innocent as they claimed themselves to be after all; and the knife used to stab Papa does not have any fingerprints of the murderer, and it look odd (I was able to take a glance of it from the investigator, put in a zip lock), it is not the usual knife to be found in this town, and it looks archaic to me that surely makes it expensive (and it is impossible to be owned by a gangster): it is curved and its handle is longer than its already pointed blade's tip, and it have swirls and dots engraved where the handle and the blade's metal meet. Papa have collection of weapons, including knives, but I have never seen such beautiful but deadly knife like that before.

I want justice to be served, but to whom am I to point my fingers to? Even the investigators whose expertise in deductions and clues are exemplary cannot solve this stabbing mystery. I don't want to let my father's justice just be buried in grave just as how he's flesh was buried.

I am so drowned down with the thoughts of my father's death and his killer when, Diana calls me. I just know when it is her or Raela calling since I set up a different ring tones for both of them, for me to know that it is already them calling. When I answered Diana's call, she already asks me if I already packed my things for tomorrow.

"Uh, I'm nearly finished," my voice sounds like I came from shedding tears—although it's true, I just don't want Diana knowing about it.

"Oh. Okay, then. Make sure to have enough rest for tomorrow's flight."

"Ah, yes. Thank you for checking, Diana. I appreciate it." I am walking towards the kitchen to look for any food to cook, since I'm so hungry, and then I remembered, I skipped lunch obliviously!

"No problem, Saxia. I'll hang up, you continue your packing of clothes and sleep right after." Checking the kitchen cabinet and my ref, it seems like I'll be having Carbonara tonight as my dinner.

I put my phone on my kitchen table, to cook my dinner. While I am waiting for the Carbonara's sauce to simmer, my phone rings—it was Raela. I am not surprised anymore that she calls me randomly and do not text, to warn me that she will. I press answer and put my phone in my right ear…

"What do you want?" in an annoyed voice, I greeted her.

Her reply is an ear splitting high pitched shout! I tear off my phone from my ear, making sure that it won't be close while Raela is in her crazy hysterics again. I let her be.

The sauce is finally simmered for 5 minutes, so I turn the stove off and pour the sauce on the readied pasta.

"Xia? Are you still there? I have something important to say!" And she shouts again. I put the phone in my table and it's not on loud speaker, but I can still hear her voice.

I stay silent.

"I saw someone handsome in our favorite cafe! I think, he's new from here, and I'm sure he was sent by the heavens for me! You hear that, Xia? He was sent for me! I can already imagine him, crushing me against the wall fu-"

"What's his name?" I asked, to cut off her lewd statement, and sits down in the dining table to eat my Carbonara.

"I don't know? But I heard he's from England, and guess what? He's one street away from your house! Xia…" This is not good. I think I know what she's thinking.

"I want to visit you more often in your house, I missed hanging out with you so much! Eversince I have work, we seldom meet in La Femme Café. I want to visit you from time to time, please?" her voice sounds as if she will cry any seconds from now. She's really into this, to just get that man's attention huh?

"Raela, I'm leaving tomorrow." Out of my hunger, I took a huge amount of carbonara that made my mouth full while talking to Raela, making the word "leaving" sounds in between the word "reaving" and "weaving".

"I didn't know you weave? Cool! I'll buy some materials tomorrow and join you! Teach me, alright?" she sounds so excited, I pick my phone and put it in my ear again (I think it's already safe, since she doesn't shout anymore). I stand up—bringing the phone with me, to get a water in the fridge for me to drink.

"No, I don't weave. I said, I am leaving tomorrow. I'll be having a vacation together with Diana to who-knows-where."

"Is that for your upcoming book? You know what? You don't need to have a vacation to write, I got an idea-" I excitedly cut her off to know what's on her mind. I still don't want to leave this house. Sure, there will be assigned guards while I'm away, but I want to stay with Papa here.

"What?"

"-why not write a story out of me and that British guy! An e*****a genre at that! Just like how Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey did it in Fifty Shades of Grey? I so love that book! That would surely be your bestselling book of all times!" I rolled my eyes and drop the call.

Seriously, why did I expect something serious would come out from her?

After eating my carbonara, I immediately continue packing the remaining things I want to have with me for the vacation, including the quill and ink Papa gave me, I decided to bring it with me. I will write my novel with this quill and ink. This novel will be dedicated to my Father.

Before sleeping, I checked my study, if I forget some things in there that I am planning to bring—maybe a book while on our way to our destination would be good? I look for some good book in the shelves, and there, I found Wormwood by G. P. Taylor, based from the synopsis, it is a good read. Let's see, then.

I am drained from my activities today, starting from morning down to packing my things that took hours. Because of that, when I make myself lie down on my bed, I immediately sleep soundly—no thoughts of Mama nor Papa trying to hinder.

I wake up, smelling egg toast and coffee, and I am also hearing a bacon sizzle in the pan. I wonder who's cooking?

I stand up, hair unkempt, and saunter towards the kitchen, only to find out it is Raela, facing the stove. (She have a key of my house)

"Good morning, Xia!" she said with pure jolly, facing me temporarily, and immediately face the bacons.

I sit down the on chair of the dinner table, while Raela is already transferring the bacons from the pan to the plate and serves it on the dinner table.

"I'm hurt," Raela sadly said and touched her chest to emphasize that she really is hurt, just after sitting down across me.

I just reply to her sentiments with my poker face.

"You hung up on me, without even saying goodbye! You never really change—you're still that rude girl I know. Do you got no heart to even feel?" she dramatically, sobs in front of me, making me feel guilty.

I let her act as if she really is crying.

"Hey, aren't you going to apologize?" Her eyes are so wide—never believing that I could endure her crying in front of me.

"You are still not used to me not apologizing? You know that I don't apologize."

Well, except for my Papa and Mama.

"Hmp! Whatever! I will forgive your rudeness last night, when you come with me to La Femme Café. It's been days since we last went there together! I missed you!" She then get an egg toast and a bacon, and eat the toast like how a prim and proper princess eats her food.

I want to roll my eyes. It is not me she's really after. I think I have an idea. As much as I want to decline, I know how she can be a spoiled nagger. She always wants to get what she wants.

"I'll just be there for a while, I need to finalize everything before I go." I drink what is only left of my coffee, gathered the dishes used, put them into the lavatory to wash.

"Really? I love you so much, Xia!"

Raela stayed in the house while waiting for me to dress up. The house was jolly with her in the house. Now, we are on our way to our favorite café. I miss the café to be honest, it's been days since my last visit.

When we enter, Raela then looks around the place, as if looking for someone, and stops in the corner where I frequently sit whenever I am here. I knew it.

"Good morning, Miss Raela and Miss Saxia!" the waiter named Rex, said happily.

Without looking at Rex, Raela ramps toward the British guy's corner!

"Good morning too, Rex!" I smiled at the waiter and then followed Raela.

She sit at the table beside the British guy—who was reading a book, making sure that she is sitting across him, so that if he raises his head, it is her whom he'll see.

I am staring at Raela in disbelief, she sees my reaction and just shrugs.

"Let me order our coffee," she said with a smile in her face and audaciously walks to the counter to order, but before she reaches the counter have to pass the british guy's table.

I rolled my eyes, as she passes on her target's table, her look is branding him.

While waiting for Raela to come back, I am checking my social media accounts to kill time.

"It's already 9 o'clock, I need to leave here by 9:30 to recheck my things." Sighing, I turn off my phone.

Because the café is not that crowded, Raela immediately receives her orders. She is struggling in holding the tray on her right hand where the two coffees were placed, while she is holding her hand bag—wait, I did not notice she brought a bag with her in the house and here? And why is she bringing her bag while ordering?

A waiter offered his help towards her that she politely declined! Seriously? It is obvious she's struggling, and yet she declined the waiter's offer for help?

As she is walking holding the tray and her bag with her both hands—which she is having a hard time to hold obviously, she nearly slip! Good thing the British guy is alert, and helps her to stay upright.

She did it on purpose!

Based from her moving lips, she is surely giving him her thanks.

I don't know why, but I can barely hear their conversation! Raela has is usually loud, but now I can't even hear her high-pitched voice!

The most shocking thing is, the guy offered to carry the tray, and this flirt Raela allows him too! That was the reason why she declined the waiter's offer awhile ago, then!

The guy let Raela walk towards our table first before him. A gentleman. She is smiling wickedly while she is walking to our table.

As the guy comes closer, I can see why Raela is crazy over him: he have unkempt brunette hair that is not too long nor too short, he also have grey eyes that complements his tanned skin, he looks mature with those stubbles on, his firm stance speaks of power and discipline, and even with how he holds the tray only shows how he can pleasure women with his bare hands. He looks like a model, and a womanizer. He can pass as the ruthless Christian Grey. He have this aura that steals everyone's attention, as if he's the only thing that inhales golden air, and as if he deserves all the attention.

I don't like him.

"Thank you so much for the help, Stone!" Raela said in the sweetest and smallest voice she could ever make!

That was why I can't even hear their conversation even when they are just one table away.

He chuckled, a dimple showed on his both cheeks, "New prowblum, Rae."

I swear to good, I can feel Raela fainting right on the spot! And he suddenly looks at me, smiles and extends his hand for a shake.

"I am Easton Bennet, you can call me Stone." His hand is still extended, waiting for me to receive it, but I am not comfortable with him talking to me—especially him touching me!So, I just give him my polite smile and nodded.

Then before I know it, Raela pinches me on my arm where it Stone could not notice. It hurts! How dare she!

She then laughs, and said, "I apologize with my friend's behavior. She doesn't really socialize and talk that much. She's Saxia Quaraine, by the way."

"Oh, that's why. I understa-" what Stone is saying is interrupted by my phone's ring. Bingo! Dianne, is calling.

"Raela, I need to go! I might be late for my flight if I don't leave now. Thanks for the coffee!" After grabbing my coffee, I immediately walk out of the coffeeshop, before Raela could even stop me from leaving. Although I'm sure she won't let the coffeeshop crumble down to dusts, with that British guy inside—her voice would surely be a major turn off for him.

Chuckling, I answer Diana's call. It's time to leave.