I spent the whole day in a daze until the lazy evening sunlight fell on the clear glass, reminding me it was time to leave work.
Fang was still busy at the desk next to mine. Seeking a brief respite, I went to the restroom for another cigarette, waiting for the workday to end.
When I returned, Shirley was sitting in my office chair, apparently waiting for Fang to finish work.
I teased Shirley, "Shirley, your hips have gotten fuller. My chair can hardly accommodate you!"
"You're such a bad boy, always so inappropriate!" Shirley retorted with a roll of her eyes.
I smirked at her. In truth, she was very attractive, especially her well-rounded and perky hips, combined with her long legs and tall figure, creating a perfect silhouette. From the back, her curves would make her the most beautiful on any street.
I went over to Fang and patted his shoulder, "Did you finish the main framework of that GUCCI plan?"
"The overall concept and framework are done, just some final text to write," Fang replied.
"Let me handle the rest, go ahead and leave. Don’t keep Shirley waiting."
Shirley happily pressed my face with her hands, "Carl, you’re so considerate. You have no idea how busy we’ll be later!"
"Weddings are always busy," I said, removing her hands from my face.
Fang finally relaxed, stood up, and said, "Alright, I still have to go to the wedding planner and the bridal shop with Shirley. Call me if you have any questions."
"Don’t worry, go on," I said, taking his seat.
Fang quickly gathered his things, and Shirley, linking arms with him, remembered something as they were leaving, "Carl, our company's building is going on sale. If you're interested, I can get you an internal discount, save you $200 per square meter."
Shirley, being a sales manager at a real estate company, could indeed secure an attractive internal price – a significant saving on a whole property. But even so, I lacked the means to buy a house.
"I’ll think about it," I replied noncommittally.
Fang asked, "Which property is it this time?"
"Ecological City, Phase II," Shirley answered.
Fang set down his briefcase, seriously telling me, "Carl, consider it. It’s a great property. You might not get such a chance again soon, and property prices will only skyrocket."
"I know my financial situation, and you know it too."
"I’ve got some savings with Shirley, we can lend you that to start with. Then ask your dad to figure out a way to cover the down payment."
"You two have a mortgage and car loan to pay, plus an upcoming wedding. You really don’t need to worry about me."
Shirley chimed in, "Our loans are manageable for two. Carl, buy the house first. It'll be easier to find a girlfriend. We hate seeing you like this. It’s frustrating, really frustrating!"
"Did you consider how I’d pay the mortgage after buying a house? I can barely support myself, let alone pay a damn loan!... Just go, it's getting dark."
Shirley and Fang exchanged a glance, both sighing.
...
Standing in front of the window, I watched Shirley, arm in arm with Fang, walking towards their newly purchased white Mazda 6 parked downstairs. A complex feeling stirred inside me.
Fang, Shirley, and I all graduated from the same university. They now owned a house and a car in this city and were about to enter the realm of marriage. I couldn't understand why our paths had diverged so dramatically. Was it a cruel joke by fate, or had I brought this upon myself?
Lost in my lonely contemplation, I wondered: If Jianwei and I hadn’t broken up, would we be getting married too?
...
At 9 p.m., I finally finished the proposal Fang left for me. Stretching my tired body, I headed to the staff lounge for my last cup of coffee before leaving work.
Absently listening to the sound of coffee pouring into the cup felt like a gentle call, leaving no place for desire to hide.
I gulped down the coffee, staring out at the dense night outside the window, the struggling neon lights, wishing I could shed this weary flesh.
...
The phone rang. Taking it out of my pocket, I saw it was Selena again.
I answered, and Selena's voice sounded weak, "Carl, where are you?"
"Working overtime," I replied, my mood unclear.
"Can you come and help me wash some clothes? I can’t get my hands wet."
"Don’t you have a washing machine?" I asked irritably.
Selena's tired voice responded, "Just come, please."
I was speechless, then emphasized, "I was asking about the washing machine."
"Some clothes can't be machine washed."
"Then take them to a dry cleaner. I've been working all day, I'm exhausted, and don’t have the energy."
"You can't take underwear and bras to a dry cleaner."
"Are you crazy, asking me to wash your underwear and bras?"
"Carl, I just had surgery, I really can’t get my hands wet. Can't you have some sympathy?" Selena choked up.
"I know you studied drama, but please stop acting with me."
Selena broke into tears, "I had your child, and this is how you treat me? Have you ever thought about how I feel? Do you know how much it hurts me?"
"Is your mouth a machine gun? So many questions."
Selena sobbed, "Carl ..... You asshole ....... Do you believe me, I'll die for you!"
I was at my wits’ end, "Fine, fine, I'll come, okay?"
Her tone instantly calmed, "Hurry up, I'm waiting."
Hanging up, I suddenly thought: If Selena doesn’t reach the status of a movie queen, it’s truly a waste of talent in the entertainment industry. Her acting skills are incredible!
People who study acting are frightening, and women who study acting are even more so!
...
Leaving the office, I stood by the roadside waiting for a taxi, suddenly remembering my promise to move out of Lris's place after work. It was almost 9:30 p.m. now!
"I hope she hasn’t thrown my stuff out again," I muttered to myself.
As the taxi pulled up, I thought: Since I've already broken my promise, I might as well go wash Selena's clothes first. I'll deal with moving later.
It took about 15 minutes to reach Selena's studio apartment. Standing at the door, I rang the bell repeatedly, venting my frustration at being coerced into coming.
Selena, in her pajamas and clutching a stuffed toy, looked haggard as she opened the door for me. Her pitiful appearance swallowed any harsh words I had prepared. "You're a real pain in the ass!" was all I complained.
"If you hadn’t slept with me, none of this would have happened," Selena remarked, stepping aside to let me in.
Not in the mood to argue, I asked, "Where are the clothes?"
"In the laundry basket in the bathroom."
I was shocked to find two large laundry baskets stuffed full of clothes. "Are you trying to torture me by saving up a year’s worth of laundry?" I exclaimed.
Selena ignored me, turning up the volume of the TV in the living room.
Annoyed but resigned, I sorted the laundry into machine-washable and hand-wash piles, with a separate pile for underwear.
For the next hour, I was busy washing, finally getting through the mountain of clothes.
After hanging everything up on the balcony, I lit a cigarette to relax from the fatigue.
Selena came over with a plate of fruit, asking softly, "Want some?"
"No appetite," I replied, taking a deep drag on my cigarette.
Selena took the cigarette from between my fingers, wiping the sweat off my forehead with a tissue, and said softly, "The magazines say that a man who's willing to wash a woman's underwear is a gentle, reliable, good man."
"Cut it out. Do you think I wanted to wash these for you?"
Despite my rebuke, Selena still clung to my arm and leaned against me, "Have you ever washed anyone else’s clothes besides mine?"
"No," I replied impatiently.
"Not even for Jianwei?" Selena persisted.
"Are you annoyed, What a nag." I said pushing Selena away.
Selena was used to my attitude and didn't get angry or respond, just watching me quietly.
I put on my coat and told her, "I'm leaving. Don't call me again."
Selena grabbed my arm, "You can't leave."
"Let go," I said, shaking off her grip.
Selena blocked the door, "Wait, I have something for you." She pulled out a bank card from her pajama pocket, seemingly prepared in advance, and handed it to me, "This is for you. There's ten thousand dollars on this card. I know you've spent a lot."
I was taken aback, "Where did you get this money?"
"I got an advance from the production team."
"Are you that kind?"
Selena stared at me with sad eyes for a long time, "The child was yours... I just wanted to see if you were willing to take responsibility. Of course, I'll repay the money you spent."
The more serious she looked, the more I felt she was acting. To me, she was just a woman who enjoyed the nightlife. The responsibility that came out of her mouth was not reliable at all, this point was the same for me too, so I knew it too well., as was mine. That’s why I understood her so well.
She insisted the child was mine, perhaps as a form of emotional crutch or maybe even she didn't know who the father was... This bizarre attachment is hard to explain, but those living in this decadent world understand... We appear carefree, but our hearts are empty.
...
In the end, I didn’t take Selena's card, despite needing the money. Why? Maybe deep down, I pitied her. I would verbally lash out at her, but when she needed help, I was there.
Regardless of how glamorous she appeared, I understood her emptiness because we were the same. The only difference: she might one day make a big name for herself in showbiz, while I was destined for an ordinary and lonely life.
...
Leaving Selena's place, I immediately hailed a taxi to my former residence, hoping Lris hadn’t moved my belongings out again for breaking our agreement. I don't want to work overtime either, and I don't want to be pestered by Selena to do the laundry! But life is full of unexpected twists that leave me helpless.