Bouquet of Rose’s

The Beginging of the End

Rosalina

This isn't supposed to be happening to me.

I truly felt as if I was transported into an alternate reality. I felt angry tears rolling down my face, as the dam inside of me broke.

My heart was cut into a thousand pieces and it was all because of him. I cursed myself for being drawn to him. Feeling as though we were meant for each other. As if fate actually gave you what you wanted.

Our love was false and felt like a slap to the face. The only good thing to come from us was Jai'Dence. My son was nothing to regret, but his father. I could just spit in his face.

My leg bounced quickly, as I sat in the living room. Rolling our entire relationship over in my mind. It was getting late, and I'm sure I would be found soon. I kept the lights dimmed real low, hoping I would be overlooked.

How could I fall so easily for a man with no regard for my feelings. He didn't love me. How could love ever feel like this.

3 years of loving Jamir, turned out to be my vice. He use to be my sanctity. The only light at the end of all I've been through. I felt a sob creeping out, and hugged myself tightly. I was supposed to be mad, but I felt as though I was grieving.

That chance meeting in a hallway felt like destiny. Surely it was. Our families were intertwined from the start, no matter if we lost that part of our childhood. My heart belonged to him once his mother gave her life for mine.

Knowing that only brought us closer. Just to be separated again. The fear I felt during that time seemed foolish now. I stormed inside the belly of the beast, with no regard for my own life. All to help save the very man that caused me such happiness and pain. My fiancé.

I moved my arm from around my torso. Bringing my left hand to my eyes, as I gazed at the ring. "I don't want to lose you. . . This ring is my promise that, that will never happen again." He said to me once. Sounding as if he was sincere in that claim.

He had no right to promise such a thing. I wondered if I was truly done with him as I continued to gaze at the ring, through tear streaked eyes. I couldn't bare to remove it. Despite my emotions at the moment. I still loved him.

I had saved him that day. ShaMilla and I. I faced my own fears, and we were successful. I had an entire year filled with Joy at his side. Jamir was all mine and I his. Nothing in these 24 years of life could compare to that. Nothing.

That year was too short, and I was taken against my will. With only my hope for rescue to keep me sane, and my child. I endured 6 months of captivity. Waiting for him, and he never came for me. He was too busy killing in my name.

I kissed my teeth. Shaking my head at the irony. Where was he when I needed him most. WE needed him most.

Seeing him in the hotel with Jai'Dence clouded my mind. Too anxious to be with them again, I ignored the signs. His remorse, and his voice soaked in regret. I should have listened to the betrayal then.

Now here I am broken. Damaged by the unveiling of everything. My rehearsal dinner was a joke. I couldn't bare to allow her to steal my shine. She had everything else already.

To see him so concerned for her wellbeing, when I didn't have any during my time of need. The sight filled me with more than rage. Jealousy coursed through me as well. How could he put me in such a position.

I heard the door open then. Followed by heavy footsteps coming my way, but pausing just at the opening for the living room. I didn't acknowledge his presence at all. I kept my eyes on my ring, as fresh tears cascaded down my cheeks.

"Peaches..." he began. Not even continuing, seeing me flinch at the pet name. My hand dropped to my leg, and I tried to turn away from him more. I heard him move closer, and my eyes finally flashed to his. "Don't you come near me." I practically snarled, as he hid his sadness from his features. His eyes however. Told me how much my words killed him.

As much as I loved him, I could care less about his feelings right now. He's been breaking my heart for the past five months. "Im sorry." He whispered, coming closer anyway. I felt him sit next to me on the couch.

I felt the familiar magnetism between us, as I folded my hands to keep from reaching for him. He was a source of comfort for me, but now he was the cause of my undoing. "That's all you've been saying." I retorted.

"I know it seems that way, but you know I love you." He reasoned. His velvety voice, coaxing me from my rigid posture. "Do you?" I mumbled under my breath, but of course he heard me.

"Of course!" He replied with conviction. "You never have to doubt that Rose."

"Do you love her?" I added, and he responded without hesitation. "No. I never had feelings for her." He answered me, pleading with his eyes for forgiveness. He was leaning towards me now. I could hear the aching in his voice, and I knew he was telling the truth.

"But why Jamir..." I choked out, and he couldn't take it anymore. I was enveloped in his arms as he pulled me to him. Tucking me safely under his chin. I melted into his embrace, despite my feeble resistance. I cried into his chest as he squeezed and rubbed me.

"Where's my son?" I asked, after finding my voice. "Our son is with Sharon." He corrected, as I calmed still in his embrace. His scent was in my head now, and my heart purred with content as it continued to bleed. "This was a mistake." I spoke, separating myself.

Jamir kept me in place, but I knew I could break his hold. "Don't say that. Ever." He stated in a hushed tone. I broke away, and stood from the couch, putting space between us. "It's the truth." I responded sadly, as I looked at him. Still sitting as if I was there, with his arms lip at his sides.

I saw him fighting hard to keep his own sadness at bay. Not wanting to show how my words effected him. It angered me that he was still "protecting" me. Sparing me the sight of him hurting. I wanted to see it for myself. It wasn't real if I didn't.

"You cheated on me, and killed my friend." I stated coldly, braking the brief quiet we fell into. "You say you were trying to find me, but Milla did. Not you." I continued as his mask began to crack.

"I was there..." he began, but I wasn't finished at all.

"Then where were you!" I shouted, seething from head to toe. "You were on a date. Were you not!" I spat, and he flinched. Slightly, but enough for me to know I'd hit my target.

"You don't love me. Just the idea of us. You want that little girl with the freckles, but im more than that." I stressed, as his face displayed disbelief. "You accepted my death without hesitation, and just did whatever."

"Didn't get you no where, but you couldn't stop yourself could you." I continued, stepping back in his personal space. "Had to find a b***h to keep you company, since your girlfriend's dead huh. Did you even mourn us! Or was the lie not good enough for that!" I snapped, and he shot to his feet startling me.

I stumbled but regained my balance. Jamir's full height shadowing me. He looked upset, but also angry. "It wasn't like that. She's nothing to me Rose, but I can't just ignore her now." He argued back, still in a pleading tone.

"I never stopped thinking about you. Never stopped looking. I just lost myself without you!" He stressed, invading my space now. "I had no idea you were pregnant. I thought I lost you both! I couldn't think past that!" He tried to reason, and I believed every word. I just didn't know if it was enough.

"I know I hurt you baby, and Im sorry." He apologized with absolute sincerity as he reached for my hand. I let him grab it, and softly tug me into his solidness. My eyes were shining as I searched his. Looking for any facade behind his sorries.

I found nothing but guilt and remorse in his gaze. "I wish I could change everything. I want to clear any doubt that you have. I love you more than anything. I can't lose you." He whispered, bending as he rested his forehead against mine.

I felt my will breaking. It didn't matter what he'd done. I loved this man and that was evident. I was lost in his tender kiss. Mostly pecks, but my lips tingled with each one. Jamir spoke to me quietly as my brain went haywire.

"I love you." He whispered, kissing my forehead. "Don't leave." Now on my cheek, rotating my head to give him access to my neck. "It's always been you." He continued, as a moan slipped out of my mouth.

I was puddy in his hands, as my body accepted every one of his apologies. My mind hadn't caught up yet, but I was already being carried to our room. Mir held me scooped up in his arms. Holding my ass securely as we made our way up the steps.

"Do you love me still." He asked, ceasing his kisses, as he looked into my eyes intently. I gazed back into his, still in his arms as he held my weight effortlessly. My arms wrapped around his neck as I nervously caressed the nape of it.

I did love him still, but I didn't want to be weak. I kept my reply to myself and kissed him fiercely. Hoping to send my love in another way. Jamir followed my lead, slipping his tongue in my mouth.

I knew I'd forgive him, but I couldn't give him peace of mind just yet. I was hurt to my core and I needed him to know that. Our lips moved passionately and Jamir laid me down gently. I felt his excitement, but he didn't make any moves.

He just hovered over me, not sure if he should continue. I placed my hands on the sides of his face, making our eyes meet. I found them cloaked in uncertainty now. "This is what you want right?" I asked, caressing his face lovingly. I kissed him once. Twice, as I saw him giving in, and lust taking over.

"I want you." He breathed against my lips. I nodded, already knowing the answer before he spoke it. I kissed him with new passion, bringing his body against mine. I lost myself in his presence, as his hands ran over my body.

It's has been awhile since we've been intimate. I wanted this just as much as him, but he didn't deserve my body. I sucked his bottom lip as he grind into my middle still clothed. I felt our lust taking over and knew I would submit to him.

This would be my last time, and sadly. Only I knew this part. I felt him slip under my shirt, and allowed him to peel it off. Next went my bra and my pants with my thong. Soon I was naked under him, and I reveled in the way his eyes soaked me in.

Full of want and need. Subtle desperation, but mostly love. He undressed himself and came right back over to me. I felt his thickness brushing my center as he held himself in position. Mir didn't break eye contact, as he slid into me.

I arched up meeting him, but he kept his strokes slow. I watched myself coating him, as he watched my facial expressions. Jamir knew exactly what my body craved, and We lost ourselves in intimacy.

We made love at our own measured pace. Becoming intoxicated by our closeness. I wanted this moment to pulse through his mind, whenever I wasn't around.

I felt too far from him, despite what we were doing. My hands kneaded his back, as he went deeper and whimpers of pleasure came from me. Mir bent his head down as he bit back his moans. I slid my hands up his sides to his head, pulling his ear to my lips. " Déjame conducir Papí" I whispered breathlessly.

Jamir didn't reply, but simply gave me a smoldering look, before slipping out of my wetness. He moved to lay next to me, as I mounted him, sitting down of his stiffness. I squeezed him with my muscles, as his hands found my waist, arousing me more, pulling me down on him.

I bit my lip as I rolled my hips, lifting ever so slightly. I took every inch of him as he rocked me, earning a moan followed by a shudder. I leaned against him feeling my release coming, but he kept me going.

Just when I was on the brink of euphoria, Jamir sat up, taking me with him. "Wait. Hold on..." I tried to tell him, but my words died on my lips. Jamir moved to the edge, and stood spreading my legs wider. "Why does it feel like your saying goodbye." He demanded, slamming me down on his rigid member.

I gasped as overwhelming pleasure ripped through me. "Mir." I whimpered, as he brought me down again, and again. Pounding into me as he stood. I felt his breaths as I creamed around his manhood, with him sending thrills up my spine. "Baby I can't." I screamed, feeling a budding pressure as he ravished me.

"Do you love me?" He asked. My nails digging into his arms, and my eyes rolling back. "Yeeesss." I moaned my answer, as our sounds of s*x filled the room. "I wanna hear it." He demanded, pumping me faster, and deeper. Stimulating my spot with every stroke, stripping me raw as tears formed in my eyes.

"I love you! I love you Jamir." I screamed as my nut crashed through me. I was panting in his arms, as he covered my mouth with his. Still connected as he moved back towards the bed. I shivered as he pulled out. Still fully erect as he gently laid me down.

He laid beside me, lifting my leg as he slid back into my dampness. "Where are you going?" He breathed, as he swirled and thrust into my pleasure. "No where." I moaned, reaching to touch his face. I peeked over my shoulder as he watched me advidly.

I saw his love for me in his eyes. I felt him telling me as he worked my body with ease. "Say it again." He commanded, as I felt him throbbing. "I love you Jamir Jacobs." I cooed to him, knowing that's all he wanted to hear. I felt him speed up and felt myself coming close as well.

Hearing my words sent him over as he filled me with his release. I gave into mine as I unraveled beside him. I felt him set my leg down, but I was to high off him to move. I felt spent after everything, and emotionally drained.

Mir turned my body to face him, and kissed me sweetly. "Don't cry Rose." He pleaded, and I noticed my tears had spilled over. He pulled me in closer, rubbing my back in a soothing motion. "This is what you do to me." I replied, making him freeze.

"Is it that hard for you?" He mumbled, and I didn't answer. Jamir sighed deeply, and I saw the gears turning in his head. "If you want to leave me. I'll let you." He told me, meeting my gaze. "What!?" I responded flabbergasted. "You just begged me not to go!" I argued back.

I knew that I said I wanted to leave him, but I never thought he'd let me go so easily. "I love you more than anything. Seeing you happy is all I want. If I don't make you happy, I'll leave." He explained, as I shook my head, untangling myself. I pulled the cover with me, wrapping my body.

"THEN LEAVE!" I shouted back as my anger crashing forward back. I went into our master bathroom slamming and locking the door. Thrusting my back against it. I placed my hand over my mouth, to hide my cries as my back slid down.

How dare he offer to leave me! Jamir was the cause of everything, but he wanted to let me go. It's like he loves me one minute and in the next he's ready to be rid of me. I heard the door close and jumped at the sound.

I eased off the floor, holding the sheets tightly around myself. I unlocked the door, stepping out as my eyes searched the room. I heard right, and he was gone. Having slipped on his clothes and leaving out the door. I found myself staring at that very door, wishing for him to come back.

A thousand and one pieces now.