Alpha's Queen

Alpha's Queen - Chapter Twenty Seven

‘my social life is now over! It’s to protect them’ i kept saying in my head as i tried to convince myself i was doing the right thing.

Once i got downstairs i walk over to the kitchen and see John had already gotten a light breakfast ready for me and said “i will leave for today, you just rest and tomorrow we take care of everything that we didn’t yesterday and today” “no, please stay and let’s do everything now” i pleaded “but you are in no condicti-” John starts but i cut his excuses to leave short by saying “i need to focus on my country and my people! i need to focus on my work and on top of it all i need to stay out of my head!” he just nodded and got the papers ready as i ate.

After breakfast we started taking care of papers and approve papers about financials and peace agreements with other countries. After everything was taken care and John was about to leave i said “starting tomorrow please come only around lunch time and we stay longer if necessary” he sighed and nodded.

The sun was still out and it wasnt that late yet, i knew we had finished earlier today because i was focusing on what i had in hands instead of just thinking about whatever was i used to think about.

Since i was early today i went to the cliff and waited for wolfy, as i waited i started drawing as usual.

This time i was drawing something i had never drawn before in my life… i found myself drawing me in the middle of Viktor and the wolf, i was smiling and holding on to Viktor, who had na amazing happy face, while at the same time i was petting the wolf.as i finished i looked at it and said “that would have been something amazing” as i was looking at the drawing i heard a whimper behind me and i turn my head to look at this amazing black wolf i had ever “hey wolfy” i said as i recognized him “is something wrong? You look sad”i said as i approach the wolf, as i get near i said “i had notice before…your eyes are just like his… just so perfect…” i start petting him and he closes his eyes as leans for my hand so i kept on petting him while talking until he got his head away from what i said “wolfy..i might not come here as often as i did until now, i have a few things to take care of… sorry… i wanted to say a proper goodbye to you so i came here today…i know you won’t take it with you or anything, but you can think of this as a present” i said as i tore the new drawing from my notebook and put it on the ground under a rock so it wouldn’t fly off “now everytime you come here you will have something mine to remember me… i think from all the drawing i already did that one is my favorite… i had never drawn myself, but today i did and i am standing besides the two things i love the most in this world…sorry i couldn’t be better… bye bye…i loved seeing you during these past weeks, and i hate having to let you go”

I ran back home like never before, with tear threatning to leave my eyes and fall down my face, with my heart telling me to go back and somehow call Viktor and everyone else and apologize and tell Viktor how i feel and be happy with them, however i had to be a queen, my head told me to be a queen and my heart told me to be happy. I was slipt between both my options, however if i couldnt be with Viktor i knew he would find someone else better to be next to him, someone that could make him happy without having to give him the burden of ruling a country, someone that it’s not me but my country couldn’t find another person to rule it, my country had me ruling it for the past years, they didn’t even know who i was but they were safe, peace was in this country and everyone was living happily in it, i couldn’t ruin thousand of people’s lives just so i could be happy.

After i got home i went to my room, got myself under the covers without even changing clothes and forced myself to sleep and think this was the best option i had, this was the right choice for everyone.

I had a sleepless night that night, and all other night that were to come.