Even though I am so depressed with my feelings, I didn't stop taking care of Rory. In two weeks, I fed Rory with full attention and love. Rory on the other hand is showing again his old self, the happy and loving son I have ever had.
One night, I went down to the basement and took the big teddy bear that Lucas gave me years ago. It was on a plastic together with the small teddy bears with letters on their tummies saying "S-O-R-R-Y". I picked it up in the morning and took a seat near the pool. There was this kind of pull on the teddy bear so I hug it tightly closing my eyes.
Oh how I missed this bear, like how I missed the person who gave it to me. Then the memories rush over to me when Lucas and I are pretending to be real married couple- his jokes, how he played with Rory, his sweetness
