Doomed

Chapter 1: Passion and Profession

The rain pours hard outside as if an expected Noah-like flood were to happen any moment that the cold wind that it brought made Tony shiver in bed—urging him to want a hot coffee or a good music that might stir the moment a perfection, but he cannot for he is a months-old unemployed and he cannot even afford to purchase a 1-month Spotify subscription or a Starbucks latte, so he stays slump in his bunk.

All days are the same as he thinks while watching the rain pelts in his window. If he was not doodling all day he would lie down in bed and think of how complicated his life now being jobless. Some months ago, Tony was just a junior high school teacher—teaching social sciences to sophomores and senior level students. He earned above minimum range that can sustain his and his family's life in the province.

But a catastrophic global pandemic hit the country that halts the economic and social life of everyone. A lockdown happened along with a economic recession in the Philippines immediately because of this, urging his company to lay-off the faculty, including he, for there are shortage of enrolment and problems of school management urging his company to shut down for good. Now, Tony depends on his back pay and years savings because of this. He only wishes to go home to his province to invest it in a poultry business he hopes to build but he cannot because of the suspension of transportation outside Metro Manila is still lifted. And now his money is dwindling because of his room rent and other daily necessities.

As much as he wants to turn his anger to the government, and his former employers, he cannot. "This is destiny" he says. All he can do is to save his remaining money and wait for the lifting of the suspension. So the only thing that he can do is to doodle anything the whole day and wait for the time that he can embark on his journey back home.

The rain is now slowly fading. He sits in his study to create an isometric illustration of a house.

Since young he loves to draw anything. Like what any Asian artists transpired to got this interest, his inspiration starts from imitating Japanese anime. He used to participate and won awards because of these during his schooling days. And this inspired him to be an architect although he is not good in arithmetic. Professions related to Humanism has low opportunity in the Philippines. Therefore, more artists mostly succeed in abroad. With this Mother's prerogative, Tony drop the idea of becoming an artist. Like what JoKoy's theory on Filipino employment, all Filipino professions are predetermined by their parents. So in Tony's case, his profession is not determined by himself but by his Mother. His mother is strict one when it comes to parenthood—a common Filipino trait.

He graduated with a bachelor's degree in Secondary Education specializing in Social Sciences because a teacher, what his mother says, earn more than sketching anything.

He tried to straighten the lines without the help of a ruler. His hand's quick movement determined the accuracy of the draft that he is making.

Although Tony taught social sciences, he used to do some freelancing art design, if someone needs to—this became a fulfillment of his dream as an artist.

Lines must be accurate. As what he says in his mind.

His eyes only focused in the A4 sketchpad with the guide of the LED desklamp. He is having the greatest meditative move in creating a scenic illustration of a medieval house using isometric scale when a loud knock in his door happened.

"Geez, who the f*** is it?"

His line gone crooked.

"It's me, Melba."

He went straight to the door.

"I got you fresh mangoes. Will you stop being grumpy?"

Tony's shut his mouth from Melba's scolding.

Melba was Tony's girlfriend for five years. They were former co-workers in a prestigious school in Quezon City. Melba was raised from a family of teachers and graduated with latin-honors from the University of the Philippines-Diliman. She is currently teaching as a science teacher in a Public School, and still living with her parents.

"I thought you are browsing for a job."

Melba said to Tony.

"Being unemployed means you can become unproductive, Tonyo. Time is a precious thing. So you better stop doodling and acting as a child."

"But---"

"Stop reasoning to me that you will come home and start a poultry business there. The world needs teachers like us. Once the application for public school teacher is open here in Q.C., I will literally push you to apply."

Tony has no words to say. He knew that he cannot escape the sad reality of his life. He is acquainted with a career-driven soul.

As what ikigai says in employment, you better choose what you love, can earn you more money, and something that can be described as a vocation.

Doing art was what Tony loves and what makes him inspired. It is his one true love. The air that can fill his nostrils. The flow or spark he have. But art cannot make Tony marry Melba. Art cannot make money to raise his future family with Melba. Art cannot pay bills like what other jobs can. He needed a stable job that earns a lot that meets Melba's criteria.

He peels the mangoes and serve it to Melba and sat beside her.

"I'm sorry for scolding. I just want you to become better." Melba told Tony.

"I will support you financially just promise me that when the time comes that an hiring opportunity is open, you will take that chance. For the mean time, look for a job. I don't care if you do art or whatever. Just be productive."

Tony gave Melba a nod.

The rain stops momentarily and the sheen of the sunshine rose.

He looked to the window and saw his reflection.

"What a poor boy?" He said to himself.