Why Humans Make Bad Pets!

I'm killing them IV

"I was not responsible for his actions, and if you kill me your Vzk'tk friend will die along with everyone on this station."

My jaw dropped. It had been so long since I'd heard another recognizable voice other than my own that it took me a moment to figure out what the Yoda had said. "You can talk to me?" I spluttered. "How? Why haven't you done it before? Why just you? Can the others understand me?"

He held up a hand. My questions ceased. "My race is perhaps the most unethical sapient species among the stars, but we're also one of the most intelligent. When the searchers, excuse me, zoologists find an up and coming species that will soon reach the stars, we abduct several of their number and study them for a number of reasons. First and foremost so we can create common galactic items fit to their physiology, but that wouldn't really require an a*******n of more than one of two people. The other reason we abduct a large number of the species in question is so that we can learn their weaknesses so that, if we're ever threatened, we can exploit them. Such experimentation is difficult when the species is a recognized sapient, so we do it before legal matters interfere with our self-preservation. Our advanced understanding of other species and our prowess in cybernetic implants have allowed my kind, and my kind alone, to implant a two way translator into the language centers of our brains, along with a device that allows me to download any pertinent research conducted by my kind regarding any known species I should happen to encounter, or perhaps escaped research subjects that should be dead," he coughed and looked at me pointedly. " I and others like me can understand you. If I wanted to I could even act as a translator between you and another, so long as I could understand both. I refrained from doing such as it was advantageous for me to withhold this information from everyone on board. After all, if you could talk, I would have had to ask your permission before I continued my people's work on you. You gave them quite a bit of trouble, didn't you?"

"You son of a-"

"Actually my mother was quite normal, thank you. The researchers who abducted you were quite entertained once they discovered what that little saying meant. I'm not here to gloat, though, I just need you to understand that I 'hold all the cards,' and also so that you can know why the unfortunate Dr. UtMot," he motioned to the dead lizard-ant on the floor "attempted what he did. He is of a race known as the Robalin. Approximately twenty of your years ago they attempted to create a biological weapon capable of destroying any organism that displeased them. Thankfully their ambition was greater than their intelligence and they failed. They were quickly defeated and assimilated into the Dominion, of which my people and the many others you see here on this station are a part of. Then you show up at this station. A member of the a species that is a gun pointed at the head of the galaxy. You are the only race my people has not yet been able to find a satisfiable exploitable weakness for, you especially. Your immune system is extremely good, even by the measure of your kind, in case you were wondering."

"I eat my vegetables." I said through clenched teeth.

"Very wise of you. The reason I tell you of this is that Dr. UtMot appears to have been a part of a faction within the Robalin that are still looking for their illusive 'dooms day bio-weapon', at least I hope it's just a faction. The important outcome of this, however, is that an old Robalin class-4 biocruiser has just decloaked 300 of your kilometers from the station, and has been sending comlink requests to Dr. UtMot every fifteen 'minutes' to check on his progress. I do not believe he will be able to make his next check in, do you?"

I looked at Shifty's - what kind of name is UtMot - body. I think d**k Yoda here had the right of things. "So why are you telling me this? What do you want me to do?"

He looked at me, apparently annoyed that I wasn't getting his drift. d**k. "They are here because it is time for them to pick up the last installment of Dr. UtMot's delivery. It appears he has been attempting to develop a bio-weapon by himself. I have become increasingly suspicious of his activity as of late and so I assume, being frightened that I was on to him, he called for an extraction, which is waiting outside. Even if UtMot is dead, it is too much to hope that he had not already sendt all his work to his friends. With him dead, however, they will know that he has been compromised. That will mean they have a good deal of clean up to do. If the Dominion learns of this, any hope these Robalins have of this plan succeeding will be crushed. They've been jamming communications for an 'hour' now. With UtMot's untimely demise, they'll need to kill everyone on this station and abduct you. They've no doubt been informed of your . . . tenacity . . . and will most likely take advantage of the compartmentalization of this station and obliterate all of it except your room, which they will then drag into their cargo bay, cut into it from multiple directions at once, and then fill it with anti-tank fire. You will be subdued. I know this because that's how I'd do it, and the Robalins are better than I am at strategy."

"Wow. Nice pep-talk. You should really try coaching t-ball, you'd do wonder's for those kids self esteem."

"At least they would be able to shut up and listen when I'm talking to them, now . . ."

"I doubt it. Did you download any files on human children dude?" d**k ground his teeth. I smiled. Taking a deep breath he continued.

"The only way we can prevent your capture and the death of everyone on this station is if UtMot is successful in his mission."

"You're not making me feel any better." He ignored me.

"If he was successful, then he would have dragged your unconscious body - probably with a transport bed from your cargo ship - into one of this stations shuttles and taken you to his friend's ship before anyone was the wiser."

"Why not just eject this room and then let his friends pick that up?"

"Because that would sound a containment breach alarm which would wake everyone up."

"Do they really think people aren't going to start wondering why Dr. UtMot and myself are missing when they wake up?"

"Of course we would. If they're successful in abducting you they'll still destroy this station, but it's significantly easier to do so with you off it and everyone asleep. If a containment breach was sounded the computer would go on high alert, and if anyone fired at the station it would detect the shot before it hit and raise the shields. Biocruisers aren't known for their weapons, and if the shields were raised they'd never get through, so they'd just run away with the information they have so far, hide from the Dominion, and resurface a century later, possibly with their completed weapon. But if everyone is unaware of their presence, they can just use the shuttle UtMot stole to board the station and kill everyone in their sleep, then destroy the station and make it look like a reactor breach."

"This is ridiculously complex."

"You tend to make things that way. Also, this station was made to be resistant to the main forms of weapons the Robalins use. This is probably the safest place to hide from them."

"I still don't see how I'm going to stop the imminent death of everyone on this station".

Dick smiled. "I'm thinking we should send UtMot back to them, and give them what they want. The only difference is you're armed with knowledge and UtMot is somewhat less than healthy. They'll will not be expecting UtMot to have been so heavily compromised. If a shuttle approaches they'll allow you to enter, and they shouldn't be ready for you. After that, do what you do best."

"Drink beer"? He gave me a flat look. "I'm really good at that you know."

"You didn't seem like it when we first picked you up," he shot back. Ouch.

"I still won that contest, the other guy was just really good too." d**k snorted. I became serious again.

"How many are there on that ship."

"A traditional class-4 biocruiser can hold 75 Robalin."

"Great. What if I can't kill that many." d**k reached into a pocket of his garb and took out a small white capsule.

"This is what your species use when you suddenly take the urge to self-terminate. I believe you know it as a cyanide-pill. If you feel you are about to be captured, take this. It has a little something extra which should dissolve you from the inside, making it nearly impossible to study your corpse."

I put the pill in my pocket where I still had the first blue syringe of death I'd fist taken from d**k here. "Heck if you have something that can dissolve me then I think you found your weakness."

"It only works if you ingest it, and I don't believe it would be a good battle strategy for my species to need to walk up your soldiers and try to force something into their mouths."

"Good point. If I succeed, how will I come back?" I asked.

He paused. "We'll figure that out if we get there."

"If I don't make it back, will you still be able to cure the crew of the cargo ship"? He gave me a long, considering look.

"You actually care for their well being?" he asked, incredulous.

"Yes. They were good to me, even though they didn't understand that I was sapient -" he snorted in derision, "and I don't want them to die on my account. I'm doing what you suggest because not doing it would end in their death, I don't give a s**t about you."

"It will be difficult, but we may be able to complete a cure for the various diseases they have contracted without your immune system actually present. I give you my word. We do not have much time. If we do not start soon we will not be able to-"