Why Humans Make Bad Pets!

I’m a military genius III

+*Holy f**k it worked!*+

I couldn’t believe it, I’d actually managed to jump on its head, stab it in the skull, then jump off it and roll to safty before it could drag me into a collision I doubted I’d survive. I wanted to jump up and down and squeal like a little girl while flapping my arms, but I had an audience. The occupants of hover-hummer three were watching with a shocked expression I hadn’t seen in months. Hunching my shoulders, I set my entire will to forcing myself to avoid looking back at my kill, reminding myself of the first law of any action movie.

+*Cool guys don’t look at explosions. Cool guys don’t look at explosions.*+

I couldn’t help it. I looked. I was glad I did. The dragon’s momentum coupled with its weight had left streak marks 10 meters long in the dirt. The impact hadn’t been kind to the corpse either. Crumpled and broken, shafts of white bone stuck from the wings, which were nearly fractured beyond distinction. It’s neck had folded over itself and under its body, nearly decapitating it.

Seeing the c*****e, the reality of what I had just done came crashing back to me. I sat down for a moment, rethinking what I had just done. I hadn’t even been scared, even though I’d known I could have died. Was that normal? My introspections were interrupted when I got a face full of dirt from an anti-tank pulse striking the ground right in front of me. Choking on earth I dropped to the ground. Apparently my squad hadn’t been the only ones in my audience. I guess jumping eight meters into the air and killing a dragon tends to draw crowd. Too bad this new crowd sympathized with the dragon rather than me.

Three tanks charged my position, death ray guns charging, red light spilling from the cannon’s open maws. They never had the chance to fire. Three dragon’s fell from the sky like bolts from the hand of a dragon slinging Zeus. Bearing their full weight against the tops of the offending tanks, the seemingly sturdy armor folded under the drakes as if they were no more than aluminum cans. I couldn’t understand the sudden change of amicability the dragons were showing me until another four landed behind me. I got a look into the eyes of one of the first three. I had killed one of their own. I was their kill.

You know how, in action movies, when the protagonist is up against impossible odds, the bad guys play it fair and let him fight them one at a time while the rest just kind of swing their weapons around in the background? Apparently the dragons didn’t subscribe to that playbook. Three attacked at once, two in front, one just peeking out from my blindside. There might have been more coming from behind me, so I jumped the only direction I could: up.

I wish I could say that they all comically smashed into each other, where they promptly lay dazed upon the ground while stars swirled about their heads. These buggers had reflexes though. Eight meters up is a long way, but they could jump farther. Following like scaled homing missiles, my three attackers jumped to meet me. They didn’t make it. Midflight the two charging from the front exposed in bursts of red light, as the third was thrown off course by a hailstorm of anti-tank ray pulses. My squad had arrived. Our small fight exploded into chaos.

Rie’uo’abuie’ayu was beside himself with frustration. The battle had been progressing flawlessly, but now the Alliance’s advance had stalled when they were so close to victory. Command was gibbering about some sort of cowardice in so many garbled transmissions it was impossible to understand what they were upset about, units were being lost all over the field, and now the Vulza were out of control. Only seconds ago three tanks had broken formation, their crews screaming unintelligibly through the comms about the Dominion scum and a façade, when a pod of Vulza came roaring from the sky to flatten the three deviants.

Rie’uo’abuie’ayu had been unable to believe his eyes. This had never happened before! Sure, in their excitement the Vulza were known to kill an Alliance infantry squad or two who were foolish enough to get too close, but they had never attacked Celzi vehicles before. That was trained into them from birth! More Vulza landed in the clearing created by their brothers, and Rie’uo’abuie’ayu noticed the figure of the reptiles’ interest.

+*A single soldier? They’ve attacked their masters to kill a single soldier?*+

The soldier wasn’t a species he recognized.

+*A mercenary at that? What could have possessed them t-*+

The little creature powered up a person anti-gravity device. He must have. The alien mercenary shot into the air, followed by three Vulza. Thinking to take advantage of their distraction, a group of nearby rovers decided to eliminate the defective Vulza. There weren’t enough of them to eliminate the entire pod in one volley, and, presented with a new target, the remaining Vulza leapt upon those foolish enough to attack them. Rie’uo’abuie’ayu couldn’t abandon loyal men to a fate as grim as being torn apart by a Vulza.

“Fleezl!” Rie’uo’abuie’ayu snapped to his communications officer, “Tell the squad to attack the Vulza rampaging at our [4 o’clock]. I’m not leaving men to those monsters.” A few clipped words was all it required to divert Rie’uo’abuie’ayu’s squadron of tanks to the fight, where they charged the monsters, coilguns blazing. The situation deteriorated from there.