Can you write my love story?

Chapter5

I told her everything. From beginning to end. From the moment I left the house to the moment my mother dragged me back to this place. I didn't skip anything. I told her about my best friend Joe, the enemies I've made, the fights I've been in, the moments I've almost been sent to prison. I told her all the painful moments, the moments I cried myself to sleep, all the struggles. Sometimes she would reach for my hand and squeeze it lightly. I knew then that it was a good decision to tell her my story. That she wouldn't judge me, that she would understand.

We were both quiet after that. We were now seated at the edge of the bluff, our feet dangling below. I could hear the sound of the waves from below, the sun setting low from the sky. She drew a deep breath.

"I don't know what to say" she said almost in a whisper.

"You don't have to say anything"

"I'm sorry Ryan"

I looked at her, "For what?"

"For not being there. For not being there when you need a friend, when you need someone to lean on. I'm sorry I couldn't be there."

"How will you do that? You don't know where I was."

"I know, I've asked your mom about your whereabouts. There were so many times I wanted to call you, to ask you how you are, but I got scared".

"Scared?"

"Yes. I thought you hated me too, or you probably forgot about me."

I turned to look at her. "I don't hate you. I admit I forgot about you, but that doesn't mean I hate you."

"Would you have answered the phone if I called?"

"Honestly, I don't know. I was a different person back then.

"And you could be a different person now."

"How?"

She took my hand, "by forgiving"

I gently pulled my hand and stood up." I don't know Anna. I don't think I could do that."

" You can Ryan. I know it takes time, and it could be painful, but you have to do it."

"Why?"

"Because it's the only way for you to be happy."

Happy? I had never thought about that word in so long. Honestly, I never thought I could be happy again.

"I don't think I'm ready"

She smiled and moved closer to me, "It's okay, I'm here now. I will never leave you again.

I stared at her, her words bringing me comfort and warmth. It's just been a day, but I found myself believing in her. Believing that this time I won't be alone. She wrapped her arms around me in a tight embrace and I felt my heart beating loudly. I didn't know if it was because of the mood or if it was just simply because of her. Maybe I have forgotten about her before, but this time I know I will never forget her ever again.

On our way home, it was her turn to talk about her life. She talked about her school, her friends, her hobbies. She was exactly how I imagined her to be. Straight A student, active in school organizations, class president, choir member and a society volunteer. Her life has been perfect, and I couldn't help but envy her. If only my father hadn't lost his job and himself, things would have been different. I would have grown up like Anna. But maybe she's right, I could still change my life. I could still be happy.

When we reached their house, she turned to me and said, "See you tomorrow?"

I smiled, "Okay"

She nodded and walked straight for the door. I waited until she was inside before I left. When I got to the house, I saw my mom sleeping on the couch, a book on her lap. She must have heard the door open because she slowly opened her eyes and looked at me. "Ryan, is that you?"

"Yes" I mumbled.

She sat down and straightened her hair. "Have you had dinner?"

"Yes, I was with Anna" though she probably already knew about the last part.

"That's good. I'm happy you were able to catch up."

" I'm happy too."

She smiled, "Go ahead to your room and take some rest. You must be tired. I have to wait for your Tito Leo, because there was an emergency at the car shop."

The mention of Leo brought back the conversation I had with Anna.

"Mom?"

"Yes, sweetheart?"

"Why didn't you force me to come home?"

"What are you talking about? Isn't that why you are here, because I forced you?"

"I mean back then. Every time I say no, you say it's okay. Every time I refuse, you say it's fine. You know our relatives are talking badly behind your back, right? They say you are a weak mother, a bad mother."

She drew a deep breath," Do you believe them?"

I saw pain in her eyes when she asked that, but I refused to answer. Instead, I asked again, "So, why didn't you force me?

There was a long pause, like she was contemplating if she should answer me or not. In the end, she said," because I know you're in pain."

"So you're protecting me?"

"You won't understand."

"Then make me." I didn't mean to raise my voice, but I was exhausted. Exhausted by how our relationship is anchored in secrets and miscommunication.

"Ryan...."

The door then opened and Leo walked in. "I'm home", he said happily.

He looked at us, who were obviously not happy, "I'm sorry did I interrupt something?"

"Yes" I coldly said, "but that's fine, you have been doing that all this time." With that, I reached for my room and closed the door loudly behind me.

I was tired and drained. I know I should listen to Anna. I should learn to forgive, but how will I do that? How will I forgive them? How will I be happy again?