Anan

003 A sword in the chest (1)

Xie Zhilu almost immediately denied, "No, of course not. What nonsense are you talking about?" His voice was so loud that other patrons at nearby tables looked over.

Li Xinyuan became even more suspicious: "Actions speak louder than words!"

Xie Zhilu said, "Where did your mind wander off to? I got accepted, so naturally, I want to treat you to a nice meal." He picked up the menu by himself, called the waiter over, ordered a few dishes, and then fell silent.

Li Xinyuan felt increasingly uneasy, pursing her lips and saying nothing.

The two remained silent for a moment. Xie Zhilu softened his tone slightly and asked, "Are you busy with work lately? Is everything going well? It's been quite some time since we last met."

Li Xinyuan said, "Are you genuinely concerned about me, or are you just setting the stage? Xie Zhilu, don't take me for a fool. If you have something to say, say it now, don't wait until the food arrives. If you don't speak, I'll leave."

Normally, she was always cute and adorable in front of Xie Zhilu, never playing any tricks on him. But now, after three years of working in the workplace, the girl's sharpness was fully revealed, making Xie Zhilu feel somewhat unfamiliar.

Xie Zhilu couldn't let her leave like this, his purpose hadn't been achieved yet. He poured her some tea expressionlessly and said, "Don't explode like a firecracker, calm down a bit. I want to have a good conversation with you today."

Li Xinyuan remained silent.

Xie Zhilu also wanted to cut to the chase. Although certain decisions had already been made, burying the past was difficult, especially when buried beneath were the most genuine feelings. He couldn't dwell on it too much, thinking about it would only soften his heart. Considering the situation today, they probably couldn't finish their meal, so he just said, "During the five years we've been together, I've always been sincere to you, and I know you have been too. Our original intention of being together was not just as boyfriend and girlfriend, but also as soulmates. I believe you agree that what we pursue is to live a superior life in this city..."

Li Xinyuan stared at his seemingly righteous face, feeling as if something collapsed within her.

He paused as well, his words seeming difficult.

Li Xinyuan said, "Just say what you have to say, don't beat around the bush."

Xie Zhilu's face stiffened, "I never meant that." He fell silent for a moment, then picked up his teacup and took a big sip before saying, "Li Xinyuan, let's break up. To be honest, over these years, we've been apart more than we've been together, and our feelings have actually faded long ago. I increasingly realize that we're not compatible. Breaking up now will result in no loss for either of us. I don't want to hold you back, go find a man who's more suitable for you."

Although Li Xinyuan had anticipated it, she still found it hard to believe. Tears surged in her eyes as she said, "Xie Zhilu, how could you say that? We've been apart more than we've been together over these years not because we agreed to it temporarily, but because we were striving for the future, right? And now you're talking about breaking up?"

Xie Zhilu's eyes also turned red gradually, his expression even a bit ferocious. He interrupted her, "For the future, for a future where we become more suitable for each other. True lovers should stand in each other's future, not part ways. But now, our life paths are already diverging, with different work environments, aspirations, and futures. We have no common ground anymore, we're no longer compatible."

Li Xinyuan was struck by a sudden realization, "Are you breaking up with me because you got accepted? You look down on me now?"

"Don't think of me as so materialistic and shallow. This is about differing directions, not about superiority or inferiority. If you had listened to me back then, if we had prepared for postgraduate studies together, and even taken the civil service exam again, even if you had chosen a slightly lower-ranking department, now with the same starting point and direction, how could I have broken up with you? But you insisted on finding a job, and even chose a private company. How much pressure is there now? For decades to come, stability in income for both of us, buying a house and a car, educating our children, social status, relationships... These are all intertwined matters. But you... I'll be blunt, your job isn't stable, who knows when the company might collapse and lay off employees. I'm a man, I have to support my parents, and in the future, I have to support my family. In the past, when we were in college, we didn't think about these things much, but now that we're choosing lifelong partners, I have to consider these issues. If we can't be responsible for each other, it's doomed not to last. It's wise to let go early."

Li Xinyuan was almost driven mad, especially when she heard him mention "laying off employees." She yelled, "Xie Zhilu, are you crazy? I earn 8,500 yuan a month, how much does a newly graduated civil servant like you make? Do you look down on me?"

Xie Zhilu had clearly made up his mind. He twitched his mouth, took a deep breath, and said, "I once saw a saying: the first sword to land ashore, beheads the loved one in your heart. At that time, I thought it was nonsense, but now I understand it's beyond my control." After all, he had just stepped out of university, and although he spoke lightly, his eyes were already red, and his hands on the table were trembling.

Li Xinyuan looked at the tears in his eyes, suddenly unable to say anything. He was indeed ruthless, both to her and to himself.

"Let's break up," she uttered two words and left with her bag. The nearby waiter had just brought the food and looked surprised.

Xie Zhilu sat motionless in his seat.

The air conditioning in the restaurant blew warm air, but Li Xinyuan felt bone-chilling cold. After taking a few steps, she suddenly turned around, snatched a plate of food from the waiter, and smashed it directly on Xie Zhilu's face.

The plate shattered with a loud bang, leaving Xie Zhilu looking like a statue covered in oil and food, his eyes red, looking extremely embarrassed, and he stared straight at her.

Everyone in the restaurant turned their heads to look.

Li Xinyuan shouted loudly, "All scumbags should go to hell!" and walked away with her head held high.

Li Xinyuan hailed a cab, and as soon as she got in, tears streamed down her face. She couldn't afford to wail loudly, but she cried convulsively. The driver remained silent, only placing a tissue box in front of her. Li Xinyuan cried even harder, with tears and snot flowing, she said, "Th-thank you..."

Arriving home with tears in her eyes, it was already dusk. Li Xinyuan lay straight on the bed, with no tears, feeling empty inside. She recalled her relationship with Xie Zhilu—during her third and fourth years of university, it was truly sweet. She gave him her most sincere first love, and now, reminiscing, her heart trembled. But later, as he said, they gradually drifted apart due to being apart more often than together. The present him and the past him seemed like two different people. One was the first love in her memory, the other was a stranger who had just become ruthless.

How painful it was for Li Xinyuan to break up with him now, not so much. Because over the past few years, she had been too busy, and too tired. When a person's energy is almost drained by work, a love that only meets once a month is just an embellishment.

But as she thought back to the past, to the stability and expectations for the future over the five years, she still wanted to cry. She ordered a bunch of takeout while crying. While waiting for the takeout, she lay dead on the bed, wondering if she should call her best friend, but then she felt embarrassed, what was there to say? Everyone knew she had an excellent boyfriend, just waiting for their love marathon to end in marriage. Now she didn't even want to mention him.