Never an Ever After

The Devil Beside me

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HEAVEN JULIA MICHAELS

CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR

ELLORA

While we were eating dinner, Ronan's cellphone rang. And I am glad, that he turned his attention to something other than me. What happened on the seashore further escalated and increased the tension between the two of us. It didn't even help me calmed my nerves when he was near but I felt even more the strange urges and fantasies that I think of when I see him.

Can you say that there is something wrong with me wanting the man, I fear? Can you say I have a very twisted mind to lust after the man I hate?

Yeah, that’s what I think to myself too.

I have judge myself a millionth times before everybody does.

I even questioned myself so many times that I feel that I am torturing my own sick mind.

But I have one more excuse; I will blame this for the normal hormones of being a teenager, just like what Demi said. I will keep on using that excuse until I, myself believed it. Because I know, that is not the case anymore.

Tension and emotions are building inside of me. I am sure that it has something to do with the way Ronan’s manhandling me, anytime.

Is this what they called fetish? I don’t know.

But every time he looks at me, it’s there. No matter how much I try to hide and deny it.

I gesture to him that I am going in the room whilst he was talking to someone in his phone and he just nods and acknowledge me.

I went straight to the bathroom, even though the bathroom of his house is built in sophistication. Full glass view of whoever is taking a shower.

I take a shower peacefully, and that is when I feel it.

I feel his eyes on him without having to see if he’s in here inside with me.

I don’t know what’s gotten into me, because although I know that he’s here, watching me, I continued to washed myself but this time, I did it slowly. Intending of torturing him.

Now, I know how much he loves to watch me, I like the idea that I hold something in him that no one else does.

I know I am playing with fire.

But the knots on my stomach is getting tighter whilst the water between my legs kept pooling. This is all because of the idea that he is watching me.

I am sick and twisted. But I know I want him now. Maybe I do hate him, but it is also possible to lust over someone you hate the most. Especially when that someone is the Devil with a very fine mask in front of him.

He stepped inside the shower and I didn’t do anything to stop him. His burning eyes is boring into mine and all over my naked body.

Do I want this? Maybe.

Will I regret it? Maybe.

Will I feed my fantasy with this? Definitely.

I wanted to drift my mind to the things that’s been happening all around me. I know you may think that I am a hypocrite hiding in the innocent smile. But this man in front of me, is the biggest temptation I had ever seen. He is the Devil that feeds his soul with your deepest desire. Unfortunately, for me. the devil himself is my deepest desire. The burning fire inside me. the temptation inside me.

He’s already naked when he stepped in with me and I almost shakes when I looked down in his manhood. It’s painfully huge and hard. Will I be able to take this? Is it going to hurt?

He cupped my face and I shudder “I hate you.” I told him, or reminded him that I do still hate him. Even if I wanted him.

He smirks, but this time, I find it attractive. The one smirk I used to despised. He backed me on the shower wall and kissed me like he just didn’t kiss me earlier at the shore, like he’s still wanted more, and I do want more. I circled my hands on his neck as he carried me by the back of my legs and leaned my back on the wall to support while ravaging me, my lips my neck and my breast.

I pulled his hair and kissed his lips and bit the lower part of it, I was sure it was bleeding because I tasted the rusty taste of his blood on my lips. He wasn’t angry or triggered for what I did, in fact I feel him turned him on. I can feel his d**k outside my folds, and with just a little movement, he is already inside my core.

He growls “Guess my good girl wasn’t that good after all.” I can almost see the smirk on his face while kissing his neck. I am hungry, a hormonal hungry teenager for my defense.

But I am too hungry and eager for someone like me who is a virgin and with no experience with this.

“What do you want?” he whispered.

“You.” I rasped and looked at his face.

He smiled cockily “I though you hated me.”

“I still do. I just want to use you.”

This time his smile falls and the dark rim of his eyes returned. He carried me to of the bathroom and lay me down on the soft bed. We are both still wet from the shower. I lay perfectly still, trying to hide my core and my breast while his standing in the edge of the bed, looking at me.

“What did I just say?”

“I don’t need to be embarrassed of you.” I breath.

He positioned himself on top of me, his chest brushing mine. His d**k torturing my folds.

I moaned and my eyes close involuntarily at the contact.

“That’s right, baby.” He kissed the crook of my neck while his hands are roaming all over me and the other is leaning for support. “Because I am yours.”

I breathe deeply and I kissed his lips one more time.

“Are you sure about this?”

I nod eagerly “Yeah.”

"Won't you regret this after?"

“I will. But I am the one to blame.”

He kissed me more savagely as I feel him pushing his hard d**k inside me slowly and I tightened my grip on his back as sudden sting of pain course through me. I screamed.

He hugs me possessively as moved in and out of me, slowly.

“Are you hurt?” he asked.

I nod “Ye-Yeah.”

“Tell me if that doesn’t hurt anymore.” He’s being careful with his every move and I appreciate him for that. There’s no time for me to regret or think about what is right or wrong, I am in too deep with this new euphoric feeling I had felt.

A tear escaped my eyes as Ronan fasten his paced, until there’s no longer pain. It’s all pleasure and seduction. Purely.

He f****d me hard with me moaning but not giving him his name. I just keep on moaning and screaming in pleasure he’s giving me, all I can hear him is his guttural grown that sends directly in my core making it more wet and pooling.

“f**k, you don’t know how long I’ve waited for this.” He moaned.

I closed my eyes and absorb all the dirty words he’s saying while he’s f*****g me relentlessly.

That is when I feel my vision is blurring and my body shaking. “I’m coming, Oh God.” I told him.

“That’s it, come for me baby. Come in my f*****g dick.”

And I do as I told, I come in his d**k and he released himself too inside me. that I shudder. That is when I realized that he just come inside me, without protection.

But I had no time or strength to fight him off. I feel vegetated the way he just used me and my body.

I will regret this, but I am glad I got to feel this.

I am tired of being a good girl. I just wanted to feel this kind of thing that everyone’s talking about and I have to cower away because I have no clue what they’re talking about.

I sold my soul for the devil for a pleasure he just gave me.

I don’t know how will I repay that.

Ronan lay down beside me as I turn my back on him and watched the ocean once again, I expect him to sleep and don’t give a f**k about me, instead he ut his arms around my naked body, wrapped me inside him and the blanket. And kissed the top of my head.

“I want to tell you the words I shouldn’t say.” He said.

“And what is that?” I pressed.

“If I ever told you that words right now, you will be responsible for those words for the rest of your life.” He kissed the back of my head “And I know you aren’t ready for that, are you?”

I know he meant, and I think I already know what he’s going to say.

So instead of pushing him more, I just closed my eyes not wanting the responsibility of the heaviness of the words he’s talking about.

I will just be an ocean.

I will just go with the flow wherever it may take me.

I don’t have to worry or scared about anything anymore. After all, I have the devil beside me.