That Little Bit of Hope

1

It was a beautiful spring day. It had all the evidence of so, the birds singing, butterflies dancing about and the occasional whiff of jasmine in the warm soft breeze. Did Beau notice this? No. Beau sat in his truck and looked at the little boy in the passenger seat. It was two week after the accident and two weeks since he had to tell his son that he will not be seeing his mother again. Well, at least not physically. That she was now living and looking after him from haven. He didn’t know if Chase understood what he told him but the little boy’s spirit had definitely faded. He no longer wanted to do all the things that he enjoyed doing. He didn’t want to swim, he didn’t want to watch cartoons and he didn’t want any ice cream anymore. Beau had never felt so useful as a father. He didn’t know how to make things right. What used to come so easily to him when Brenda was there now seemed like an exam that he would fail dismally. This, was not the promise that him and his wife made to each other on their wedding day. She was supposed to be there with him, forever. He could barely remember to feed the dog, how was he going to take care of this little person all on his own?

“Here we are buddy. Remember what we talked about? That you will have to continue with school, like you went last month?’ Beau brushed Chase’s hair back gently.

Chase just nodded, his dark hair moving slightly. His gaze was fixed on the loose stitch he was playing with on his blue book bag.

Beau sighed and leaned over to place a kiss on his boy’s temple. “I love you.” He waited for it, and when it didn’t come he asked for it, “I don’t get an ‘I love you too?”

“I love you too, Daddy.” Chase said almost inaudible but Beau appreciated it.

“Thank you. Ready to go?” a totally palpable question with an even more obvious answer.

Chase opened his door and climbed out. He reached for his father’s hand once he reached his side of the car and they started off to class. The pair walked up the stairs and into the building of the little kindergarten school. It was very colorful with cartoon characters that Beau knew nothing of. Made him wonder how much of an ancient he really was. The pictures always made Chase excited to go to school. He loved his class, he made some new friends and he loved his teacher as well. Beau just wanted to distract Chase and take him back to something familiar that has not changed. They reached his class door and knocked.

“Mr. Haas. Good morning.”

Beau froze. This was not the teacher he saw when he dropped Chase at school every weekday morning. This is not the teacher that his son always talked about. The one that always brought cookies and cupcakes for her class. This face was new.

“And this must be Chase.” The lady stooped down a bit and held out her hand for Chase.

Chase shook her hand then looked up at his Dad. He had the same puzzled look that Chase had.

“I know you are surprised, allow me to introduce myself. I am the substitute teacher for Chase’s class. Unfortunately Mrs. Finn will be away for a while on sick leave.”

Beau nodded, that is all he could do.

“What’s your name?” Chase asked surprising Beau.

The teacher smiled, “My name is Miss. Hope.” She looked at Beau, “Hope Kingsley.”

Chase sighed and hid behind his father’s leg. He looked down shyly.

“Don’t worry, he is in good hands,” Hope assured Beau, “Chase would you like to go inside and have a seat? Your friends are all waiting to see you.”

Alas, Beau saw a small smile on his son’s lips. His coping strategy may be salvaged after all. His teacher may be different but at least his son had his new friends.

Hope turned to him, “I am sorry for your loss, Mr. Hass. I know it has not been easy with Chase and the last thing you needed was him coming to a new teacher. I would like you to know that I will be here to help him through this time. He will be just fine.”

Again all Beau could do was nod.

“Great. So, I hope you remember that pick up time is at 2, see you then?”

Beau nodded and this time added a small wave. As the teacher went into her class, he started off to his truck. He was heavily relying on Chase being more comfortable at his school with his teacher and his friends. His old teacher was very motherly, well to him perhaps, but countless times Chase compared her to his Nana. Seeing this new face had him second guessing himself and his son’s progress. Miss Hope did seem nice enough, he hoped that she all around nice and that Chase would like her as much as liked Mrs. Finn. After all, she seemed fairly young, how much experience did she have with little children? Grieving ones for that matter.

Beau arrived at his workshop in half an hour. His team was already hard at work and he appreciated it. He had a big order from the lodge and his deadline was creeping up awfully fast. And he shouldn’t forget the gazebo seats that the mayor had ordered and the new seats that the church requested. Beau had his late wife to thank for the recognition of his woodworks. She had insisted that he volunteered to work on the bird cages for the birds at the zoo that she worked at. The mahogany ‘bird homes’ as they both called them were so beautiful and crafted so uniquely. He had carved bird art into them and the management and the birds loved them. They asked of other works that he could do. He did stools, tables, sofas, chests, swings you name it, basically if it could be made from wood, he could make it. He got so busy so fast that he had to get some extra hands and also some work space. And the rest is history.

He entered his office and before he could settle the door opened behind him.

“Morning boss.”

“Queen. Hi.” Beau greeted one of his workers as he shrugged out of his T-shirt and reached for the grey overalls.

Queen went over and leaned on his desk, “How was the first day back to school?”

Beau brushed his hair back and let out a breath, “There is a new teacher. She surprised Chase and me both. I was really looking forward to having Chase around Mrs. Finn but….”

“Don’t worry about it. I like to think that I was the only unluckiest kid to have a mean ass preschool teacher. He will be fine.”

Beau couldn’t help but smile, “Why do I feel like you think all your teachers were mean?”

“Because they were, sent straight from hell to traumatize sweet little me.” Queen protested.

“I believe you.” Beau smiled sarcastically.

Queen laughed, “It’s true! Anyway, I am glad you are doing much better.”

They shared a smile before heading out to the busy work area.

Beau had never been the type to wear a suit and report to office or work those 8 to 5 hours. He was glad he could be his own boss and employer. He grew up with a crafty family, having a mechanic for a father and a large scale rice farmer for a brother. He was naturally good with his hands, it was in his blood.

“Alright guys, let’s pick it up. We are behind on time.” Beau announced and powered the automatic chainsaw.

“How did he do?” Beau asked Hope when he went to pick up Chase from pre-school.

Hope gave Beau a small smile and bent down to the small boy by her side, “Chase would you please sit on this bench for a little bit while I talk to your father?”

Once the little boy nodded and was seated, the adults moved a short distance away.

“Well he was awfully quiet in class today. From the progress reports I now he is a very charismatic boy. He did however somehow play with some of his friends, but only for a little while.” Hope explained.

“In all honesty, I was surprised to not have found Mrs. Finn here today. It made me quite anxious actually. He was very fond of her and I was very hopeful that it would have helped him to you know cope better.” Beau came clean.

Hope nodded, “I understand. But I promise you, I will try my best to make sure Chase is okay. It’s my job. It will take time yes, but we will get there.”

“Thank you.” Beau replied and was about to walk to his son when Hope asked.

‘I saw that his birthday is coming up next week Monday, are you planning anything?’  Hope had excitement in her voice as she loved birthdays, no matter how small or big.

Beau ran a hand through his hair. He was actually dreading Chase’s birthday. They always celebrated birthdays intimately as a family. And Brenda always knew what to get Chase for his birthday.

“Well, we only ever celebrated as a family….so I don’t how he will feel if it will just be us.” Beau looked over at Chase and then back to the peppy teacher.

“Well I had an idea. Maybe you can consider having the birthday celebrated here. Just bring a cake, some biscuits and juice too. Maybe some ice cream and he can enjoy with his friends. We can play some games, open his presents and everything.” Hope grinned as she clasped her hands togther.

“His present?” beau asked.

“Yes, his birthday presents.”

Beau cleared his throat, “Well his mother always knew what to get. I am clueless.”

Hope thought for minute then brightened up, “I will have the answer for you by Friday when you come to pick him up.”

Beau gave her a small smile, “Thank you. I will really appreciate that.”

The two returned to the little boy and they said their goodbyes.

Beau had Chase with him at the shop for a while before the two were headed home.

“Wait up; I will come make you guys some dinner.” Queen called after the two as they entered the truck.

She followed them home in her jeep. She was never in a rush to get home anyway.

Beau entered his home with his son’s book bag, Chase and Queen close behind him.

Monstrous heavy steps could be heard coming straight at them within seconds of opening the door. A beautiful husky emerged from the hallway to joyfully jump up at Chase. The dog quickly shifted his attention when he realized the boys were not alone. A hoarse growl bubbled in its throat followed by a sharp bark. His blue eyes narrowed at Queen as he obscured her path into the den.

Queen leaped behind Beau, ‘Every single time! What the hell is wrong with your dog Beau?”

‘Saber, hush.’

The dog obeyed but did not take his eyes away from the guest.

“Do you have any homework buddy?” Beau asked his son who just nodded and took his book bag.

Beau knew the routine; his son always did his homework while sprawled down on the living room rug. And Brenda was always sprawled right there beside him. Beau sighed away the memory and followed Queen into the kitchen.

“You are spoiling us you know.” He took two beers from the fridge and handed her one.

She accepted it with a smile, “Anything from my favorite boss. Besides, I get to eat for free.”

Queen took a sip of her beer and started cooking. Beau kept her company in the kitchen as he occasionally went to check on Chase. Once he was done, he took the little boy for a bath before dinner. They sat quietly at the table as Queen placed the mashed potatoes in the middle.

“Okay boys, dig in.”

There was casual conversation where the adults tried their level best to engage Chase but all he did was nod or shake his head. Beau remembered the times when he used to have to ask his son to stop talking and eat his food before it gets cold. He always had stories to tell and he would always just go on and on. Now, he wouldn’t look up from his plate until he was done eating, then he would excuse himself and go watch TV as his father cleared the table and straightened up the kitchen. Queen saw the sadness and concern in Beau’s eyes.

“It will get better. Just give it time. Let him grieve.” Queen placed the empty beer cans in the recycling bag.

“How much time? I feel like I am doing something wrong, for him to be this way with me.” Beau shook his head as he loaded the dish washer.

“Everybody has their coping mechanism. He is but a baby, let him be. He is muddling through this the best way he knows how. Trust me he loves you, and you are everything to him right now. You can’t fall apart or give up.” Queen tried to explain.

Beau just nodded as he escorted Queen out. He was very grateful for her as she was always around the house cooking and making sure they were not burning the house down. Beau didn’t know how would have managed for the first weeks after being released from the hospital and after Brenda’s funeral. Queen played a big role in him finding his feet.

“Thank you Queen, this means a lot.” Beau gave her a hug and a peck on the cheek.

“Sure thing.” She smiled at him before hopping into her car and driving away.