Moonlight Love

A new beginning

                  My head was by the car window and I was physically in the moving car, but my mind was not present. My mind was with my mum. My mum had left us.  The only family my brother and I have ever known. I could easily recollect when the police men came to our home by eight o’clock the next morning with my grandma. 

                  I had slept off on the couch after waiting for mum to return back home or return my calls. The door bell woke me up, and I woke up sleepily. I turned and saw my brother sleeping with his mouth open. And when all the girls at school saw him this way, they thought he was cute. Gross. 

                 I heard the door ring again and I rushed to the door, hoping to see it was mum telling me she saw sorry for making us worry, and she had bought Chinese to compensate and beg for our forgiveness. That was not going to make me forgive her so easily. Well if it was Denis yes. You could kidnap Denis with any type of food even biscuits!

                  But when I opened the door, it was grandma standing with two police men. I was confused. I had not seen grandma in years. Truth was, we had only seen grandma twice. When we were eight and when we hit our teens. She was the only one in our mum’s family that we had seen physically. We only saw grandpa on skype. So what was she doing here? I picked up a very bad feeling.

                 I looked at her with surprise. She looked very tired and her usual happy face was down. She had been crying. “Grandma? You’re here? What’s wrong? Did anything happen to grandpa are you ok?”

                 Then I heard Denis lazily ask behind me. “Is that mom?”

                 I looked at Grandma and she simply shook her beautiful red locks. The vibrant red hair every woman in my mother’s family had, including me. Except I had strings of natural silver hair in mine. Something mum used to hold and laugh saying I must have been a very old woman in my past life who refused to die on time and came through her. Denis was entirely different. He had completely grey hair. Mum told us that she had almost fainted when she saw his hair. But the doctors said he was fine and that there was nothing wrong with him. All the girls at school went crazy for him. Made me so sick.

                  Fun fact, Denis came out first and because I took a long time to come out, mum thought perhaps if Denis was born with white hair, I would be born with horns. Well surprise, surprise, I was born bald and very ugly. Not the exact type of demon she expected.

                 Grandma walked up to me giddily. Her eyes were filled with tears and I could see she was trying her best to suck it in. She held my hands. “My sweetheart. Your mother past away. She died in a car accident last night.”

                 My heart stopped. My insides became week. I felt as if everything within me was dying slowly. All I could muster was a weak and barely audible “No.”

                 Grandma nodded, the tears now flowing down her eyes uncontrollably. “Yes sweetheart.”

                 The shock, then I started recollecting everything. Every single moment I had shared with my mum. Then tears came and I wept. Grandma engulfed me into a warm hug and I wept like a baby. Grandma shook vibrantly and we wept together.

                 “What’s going on?” Denis said behind me. He had already finally woken up.

                 “Mum is gone.” I said crying uncontrollably.

                 We later discovered that after the FBI had gotten an ID on the accident, they could not call Denis or I because we were the only ones living with mum and were not sure how we were going to handle it and so they called grandma whose number was on her next of kin and she flew all the way from Brookville.

                 The next few days were hell. Grandma slept with Denis and I in the same room and I always woke up every night to nightmares. It was dreadful for all three of us. Grandpa wanted to come too, but grandma told him not to worry. 

                 Denis was my twin and I knew he was hurting deep inside. He didn’t cry. He hardly ever spoke, did not draw and neither ate nor slept. I saw him one day looking into a blank space and I went up to him and curled up with him. He adjusted for me and pulled me closer to him and together we felt our pain. 

                 We buried mum a few days later and telling her goodbye broke my heart. Her body had been so brutally dismembered that we were not allowed to see her. At least that was what I heard when Grandma was on the phone with the mortuary. Grandma just told us it was best we did not see her. 

                I still wanted to believe she was going to return, perhaps she was going to bounce out from somewhere and announce that she was here. Maybe tell us it was always a prank and we should quit brooding. But that didn’t happen.

                It was when her coffin was being lowered into the ground that it dawned on me. I was never going to touch her again, I was never going to see her again. I was never going to listen to bel biv bevoe and other nineties music with her and Denis like we did religiously on Saturday nights and I was never going to see her take care of her gardens again. It was never going to happen. She was gone, and I wept.

               The house was sold and the money was put into Denis and my tuition fees. I was not surprised to discover mum already had an insurance plan for the both of us. She always had backup plans. We picked up what we could pick from the house. I wanted to take everything, but it was impossible.

               “Denver.” I heard grandma say and I woke from my deep thoughts

               I turned to look at her, then she held my hand with her free hand from the steering wheel and said to me reassuringly. “It’s going to be fine. We are going to pull through.”

               I nodded my head and felt safe.

               Grandma was so sweet. She had decided a road trip back home would be best for us all. She drove in Denis’s car all the way. Denis had a car before me because he had earned a lot of money from an arts competition and decided buying a Jeep was better than having mum always drive us to school, then to her work place and pick us back up.

               Home. Brookville, my mother and father’s hometown that we had never been allowed to visit for some unknown reasons was going to be my new home.

                                                                                                *

               As we drove past the signboard that read welcome to Brookville, I became very anxious and agitated. Grandma sensed it because she turned to me and then said.

               “It’s a really great town sweetheart. Everyone is going to love you kids and I know the both of you are going to love it too. So don’t worry about it. Ok?” Grandma said sweetly.

                I just nodded blankly. Then I realized I was being unfair to grandma. She had been initiating conversations with me all through the journey and all I did was nod or shake my head. I had definitely made her uncomfortable right from the start. Denis was asleep all through the ride. Either that or he was pretending to be asleep to avoid any conversations.

                So I spoke up. “Grandma why didn’t mum ever allow us come visit you and grandpa here?”

                Grandma stiffened and sighed. “What did your mum tell you and your brother?”

                I shrugged. “Nothing.”

                “Expected that.” Grandma nodded. “Well, after she had you two, she decided she wanted to strike on her own. And so she moved away. She said coming to Brookville brought back so many bad memories and she wanted you both somewhere safe. In a whole new environment.”

                 My mum hardly told us anything. Whenever we asked her why we couldn’t go to Brookville, she pushed the question aside or she would smile and say. “Sweetheart, there’s no need to know all that. Isn’t being with me enough?”

                  And because we loved her so much, we always let it go. But we were hurting deep down. Hurting that we knew nothing about our father or our real home. We got tired of asking, so we dropped it and never did again. There had been a time when a boy had called me a bastard in seventh grade. Denis had given him the beating of his life. We were both eventually expelled from the school. 

                  “And my dad?” I asked.

                  “What about him?” Grandma asked.

                  I bit my lower lip. I always did that when I was anxious and a bit uncertain. “Is he alive? Does he know we exist?” 

                  “Your dad past away sweetheart. A long time ago.” Grandma said.

                  Was I hurt? No, not really. Just a bit disappointed. “Oh.”

                  Then there was silence for a while. Then I asked again. “How did he die?”

                  “In an accident. He never met you two.” She said.

                   I pressed on. “Does he have any family?”

                   I knew she was going to tell me he didn’t and he was an orphan. Well, just like me. “Yes he does. He has a sister, Lucinda.”

                   I was shocked. “Really?”

                   Grandma smiled. “Mmmhmmm. Well she was adopted when she was probably eight or so by his parents when they were still alive. But yes, she is his sister. You could meet her if you want to.”

                   I was not sure if I wanted to or not. I was still very much uncertain about everything. Denis was unpredictable. He always hung between yes and no. “Maybe.”

                   “When you see her, do be careful. She can be strange sometimes.” Grandma advised.

                   “In what ways do you mean?” I asked getting more interested

                   Grandma held her breath for a while, then let it go. “Well, she sees. She’s originally Creole and if you know native Creole people, you would know that they can be well gifted. So in a way she has premonitions. Nothing exactly out of the ordinary. But yes, she has visions from time to time. But she is a very lovely young lady.”

                   I looked at a group of constructors repairing the road as we passed by. “Do her premonitions come to pass?”

                   “It depends.” She replied as she made a U turn.

                   Grandma speaking of all this reminded me of how mum always insisted we burn sage to send away bad energy and also burning of incense to cleanse our home.

                   I knew I was asking so many questions. At least one more wouldn’t hurt. “Grandma?”

                   “Yes honey?” Grandma answered. 

                   My eyes were filled with so much tears and I said shakily. “Why did she keep everything from us? Why did she hide everything from us?”

                   “Oh honey pie.” Grandma said pulling the car over.

                   She pulled me into a big hug and i wept. “You, grandpa, Lucinda, my dad, Brookville, everything. Why did she keep us away from everything. Now she’s gone. What was the point of it all?”

                   “Oh sweetheart.” Grandma said to me. Then she let me go and handed me some tissues. 

                   I received them and wiped my tears away while I sniffed my most definitely large and by now red nose at the same time. Denis always laughed my nose and would say the makers of shrek were really thinking of me when they created him.

                   “Your mother had reasons. She loved you two so much. You both were everything to her. She would never do anything to hurt any of you.  One day, you would come to understand.” Grandma said so wisely I felt I was talking to a high spirited being.

                    I was about to ask another question. “But whe-

                    When grandma hushed me calmly. “No more questions today. You need to rest your mind for now. We are almost home. Ok sweetheart?”

                     I nodded my head in approval and she kissed my forehead. It was soothing and calming.

                     She started the car and we continued on our way.