Confined Four Years

Physical Attraction, Maybe?

~~~~~Julia~~~~~

            Zachariah learned quickly, picking up on even the tiniest nuances of Sophia’s cries. Julia often found herself impressed by his attention to detail and enjoyed having a student who could learn so fast. His spicy scent surrounded me, showing he was nearby, and she turned to find him staring at her from the doorway to the kitchen. Since Sophia long since stopped crying, she wondered if he took a break from his studies to see what she was up to. Usually, on days like today, Julia and Zachariah would both be busy doing their own things, him studying and her working on her online business. It was a delightful change, though, since she was usually alone when the twins were at school.

“It smells delicious in here.” His voice slid across her ears, the masculine tone reminding her again that he was not a kid anymore. “What’s today’s lunch menu?”

“Well, I thought since you have been doing so well with your coursework and taking care of Sophia, I would reward you with your favorite meal.” She replied, turning back to the stovetop. “Let’s see if you can guess what I’m making.”

“Hm. There’s a meaty scent, so maybe steaks? And I’m pretty sure I smell cheese, as well.” Zachariah’s voice came closer until she could feel his presence right behind her. “I can even pick up on the scent of green beans, so I’m going to guess steak, macaroni and cheese, and green beans. But the best smell in here is the floral scent.”

            Floral scent? Her head tilted at that before she turned to find him right behind her, looking down at her with his thick arms crossed over his chest. Is he talking about her perfume? She wondered, tilting her head back to look up at him. The only thing she used that smelled like flowers was her shampoo, but she did not think the scent was strong enough for it to be noticeable. Julia felt like he stood far too close, and she shifted to her other foot before turning back to the stove. Sometimes she did not know how to talk to him except to treat him like a little brother, but even that felt weird.

Especially considering how often she caught him watching her. No matter what she was doing, if she glanced in his direction, he was already looking at her. His chocolate brown eyes seemed to observe everything she was doing without hesitation, and it made her feel weird. The close aroma of his body overpowered the smell of the food, and this made her tense a little. She reminded herself again that it had been too long since a man touched her and shook her head free of the thoughts bogging her down. Julia could not think of Zachariah like this. It was wrong, especially since her little brother was the same age.

“So, you like RNB, right?” He asked, causing her shoulders to twitch. “I just wanted to know what some of your other interests were. I didn’t get a list like Marcus did.”

            She giggled at that before grabbing some plates so they could prepare their food. Once Zachariah found out the truth about Marcus and Julia’s marriage, he asked them many questions about how things happened. He knew about the lists their parents provided when they first met and the things their parents threatened them with, too. Since both of them were often busy, Julia and Zachariah sat at the bar to hold their conversation, their minds focused on their food first. There were a lot of things she did not know about Zachariah and she could understand why he would want to learn more about her.

            What motivations she had, why she would agree, all these questions she could understand. However, Julia did not understand what learning about her personal interests would do for him. There were a lot of hobbies she had over the years, but nothing made her as happy as playing with her kids. Surely Zachariah already knew that. She frowned a little as she thought about this and glanced at him out of the corner of her eye. Even from this angle, Zachariah definitely favored Marcus. Probably far more than any of the other brothers. He had long eyelashes that any woman would be jealous of, and a nice beard, giving a younger looking Marcus a unique aura.

“Yes, I love RNB, playing the piano, and occasionally visiting the local community center to play it for the children.” She replied, turning back to her meal. “My favorite color is purple, favorite food is chicken, favorite book is Titanic, and my favorite accessory is this necklace.”

“It’s all like a list. I suppose a wedding band based on falsehoods would not make your wedding band your favorite accessory.” Zachariah’s expression turned thoughtful. “So, where did you get the necklace from? It’s exquisite.”

“My grandmother gave it to me before she passed away. Apparently, my grandfather gave it to her as a betrothal gift when they were young.” She smiled at the memory, her green eyes looking up at him. “She told me the necklace belonged to my grandfather’s mother, and it was tradition to pass it on to the son, but my grandparents never had a son. My brother was not born yet, and Granny was about to pass away, so I became part of the tradition.”

            The necklace in question was ancient, but well-cared for, and Julia often wondered how many necks it touched over the years. Her grandmother did not seem to know the full history behind it, but she held onto it all this time, hoping to pass it on to the next generation. She touched the beautiful rose charm hanging from the thin but strong chain with a wistful smile. Her grandmother always wanted the children to be happy. If she knew what Julia’s mother did to her, how would she react? Julia knew her grandmother would be angry beyond measure and yell at her parents for an affront like this to the family name.

“She passed away a year before my little brother was born, but it did not feel quite right to pass this necklace on to him, yet.” She continued her story, her eyes narrowing a little in memory. “Hopefully, when he meets the woman he loves, I can pass it on to him, in Granny’s place.”

“You… really love your siblings, don’t you?” He seemed shocked by the thought, so she turned to gaze at him. “You could free yourself from the burden, could run away, but you barreled headfirst into something you did not want for yourself.”

“If my brother and sisters think of me as a woman, deeply in love with her husband, then maybe they will seek that love out for themselves.” Julia smiled softly, looking back down at her plate. “If they can find that, maybe they can love that person as much as I would want to feel it. It would make up for the years of marriage I will have put up with by that point.”

            Zachariah sighed before finishing his plate of food. Julia honestly did not want even him to know just how much his brother and she suffered through this part of their lives, but in the end, they had no choice but to tell him. Regardless. He seemed like a good kid who just wanted those around him happy. If that kind of naivete would save him from the cruel reality, she could only hope he would hang onto it. She finished her own plate before picking up both the now empty ones and moving over to the sink. Julia knew, at least from his perspective, exactly how messed up the entire situation was, but there was nothing she could do to resolve it alone.

“Why don’t you just run?” She heard him ask from behind her as she rinsed our plates. “Run and never look back?”

“Because there are two things Marcus and I have in common. Our love for our twins, and the desire to protect our siblings.” She did not even turn around as she spoke. “Or did you forget that part? And, if I run, all the people that work for Marcus will be at risk, too. There are too many things on the line for either of us to think selfishly. Why do you think we give ourselves the freedom to love who we wish?”

“So… in theory, you could love me?”

            The plate she held under the stream of water slipped from her hands, splashing forest scented bubbles up into the air. Julia often found Zachariah to be as attractive as his brother, but the logical side of her felt well aware of the fact she was six years older than him. In terms of age, alone, he felt like a baby instead of an adult. But those logical thoughts did not stop the way her heart pounded in her chest. She turned to stare at him to find him standing there with dusted red cheeks, his hand stroking the back of his neck. Moments like these reminded her once again of their age difference.

“It was a theoretical question, Jewels.” Zachariah said, turning away from her. “To be honest, I would not blame you for hating my siblings and I because Marcus married you to protect us.”

“Marcus does not hate my siblings, so why would I hate his?” She turned back to the sink to finish washing the dishes. “It would not only be illogical, but toss blame where it does not rest. It was not you that forced us to get married. My parents and yours are the reason for it. You have nothing to do with it.”

“That’s kind of like saying it’s none of my business, but it is a fact if he didn’t feel it necessary to marry…” He pouted; his gaze focused on her face.

            That was exactly what Julia was saying. This was a problem for her, Marcus, and their parents to resolve. Zachariah was free to have his opinion on it, but it would not change the situation. As much as she told herself these facts, though, she often vented to him about the problems she had with their parents. In front of Zachariah, she could not act like an adult and brush off the frustration or the pain. She never wanted to have s*x with someone she did not love for children, either. She lost much of her trust for others because of betrayal by her own parents. It was something she could not even talk to her siblings about.

            Since lying was not something she was good at, especially not to her brother and sisters, she often avoided speaking with them about anything concerning her marriage to Marcus. It had been years since she spent any real time with her siblings, and she missed them, but there was nothing she could do. They would know if she was lying to them about anything. She chewed on her lip as she thought about what they would do to get her to talk. Julia did not want her baby brother and sisters to worry about their future because of how her life ended up.

"He would have lost the company as well. As I said, there is more than just you guys on the line. I can understand that much from where I stand." She continued without missing a beat. "I may not love him, but I certainly respect your brother. As for if and when I do fall in love with someone, Marcus would not stand in the way, nor would I if the situation reverses itself. All that would remain is keeping our children out of it. We do not want them to know they are the result of blackmail because we love them."