Change

4

“Because being a Kitsune doesn’t automatically mean you’ll be able to shift, you can be one of us, but not shift. To be Kitsune, you either have one or both parents who are shape-shifters, but having either doesn’t guarantee you will be able to shift yourself. I’ll simplify it some. You took Biology while you were in college, didn’t you?” I nodded. “Think of it in terms of genes, the ability to shift is a dominant gene. But sometimes something goes wrong and someone who should shift for some reason can’t. It may be some kind of genetic defect that we haven’t figured out yet. If you have one human parent and one Kitsune, any children they have will be shifters. If you have two Kitsune parents, the children will most likely be shifters, but it’s not guaranteed. It is also possible for two non-shifting Kitsune offspring to produce a shifting child, but it is rare and can only happen with the first generation of non-shifters. Either way, shifting or non-shifting, they are still Kitsune.” 

“So, basically, what you’re telling me is that one or both of my birth parents was a Kitsune?”

“Certainly.”

“Well, I guess that’s more than I’ve ever known about either of them before…” I trailed off, not sure what to say. 

“I’ve put a lot of thought, and a bit of money toward investigations, into your situation over the years. Before you ask, no, your father has no clue of the research I’ve had done into where you came from. 

“As far as I can tell, it’s most likely that if it was just one parent, which I believe it was, it was your father who was Kitsune. The way some people are, it’s entirely possible he may have never even known of the pregnancy or you. I can also say with some certainty, that if your mother was Kitsune, her pack either never knew of her pregnancy or she told them she had miscarried. I checked with other packs all over the country when you were a baby and there was no knowledge of who you could belong to. 

“Because you were one of the first babies surrendered under the Safe Haven laws, it’s impossible to know much about either of your parents without some kind of DNA test to prove the relationship. They just didn’t get that kind of information then.

“I’ll give you all the information I’ve been able to find out, but it’s not much. You were under 72 hours old when a young woman handed you to a fireman in a Phoenix fire station, so the date of birth that your parents were given is accurate within a day or so. The records of your surrender say she told the firefighter she couldn’t take care of you like you needed, your father never knew you existed, and she hoped you would be given to someone who could give you the life you deserved, and then she left. There was a cursory search through police and court records to make sure there were no babies reported missing, no custody disputes that you could have been part of, and then you were put up for adoption.

“Her story supports my theory that it was your father who was Kindred. Most Kindred girls, if they find themselves pregnant with a child they can’t raise or don’t want, will find someone among the Kindred who is more than willing to take the child in. We don’t, as a practice, voluntarily give up our children to people who don’t know what we are.”

“It sounds like you tried to find out who gave me up.”

“I did. Not that it would have changed your life much. I never would have done anything to have you taken from your parents, but I could have had a better idea whether or not you had the ability to change, and I could possibly have let you in on the secret earlier. If I had known more, I could have made this less of a shock to you.” 

I nodded, glad he could see  my parents love us all just the way we are, and that he cared enough to try to find out where I came from.

“I knew the first time I saw you, when your parents first brought you home, that you had Kindred blood. I could tell by your scent you had the blood of a shifter. The offspring of a non-shifter doesn’t have that Kindred smell unless they’ll be able to shift. But I had no way of telling if you would have the ability to shift or not. Since the shifting of the Kindred isn’t tied to the moon, it’s also possible that even if you could shift you never actually would, since you wouldn’t know to try. That’s part of why I tried to find out where you had come from.”

“Not tied to the moon? You mean, I won’t turn into a wolf every full moon?”

“Not unless you choose to,” he said. “Not only are we not forced to change on the full moon, we aren’t forced to change ever. Yes, your shift was sudden and unexpected, but I wouldn’t consider it forced. It was your wolf’s way of saving you. The moon has no effect on us at all, it’s not easier to change during the full moon, the new moon, or any other time.”

“But I thought we were werewolves?”

“No. Werewolves are pure fiction, though they may have some, slight, basis in fact. Some Kindred choose to shift during the full moon because they can see better. Unfortunately, they are also more easily seen. It doesn’t take a silver bullet to kill us, though, don’t get me wrong, a sliver bullet will do the job, but so will most others. We aren’t immortal, we just heal faster than most. Any wound that would be instantly fatal will still kill us.” 

“I see.” I tried to think. “Why tell Brandon that I might shift?”

“Brandon came to me after his first shift and told me that he could tell you were Kindred. I explained what he needed to know. And just as importantly, how he couldn’t say anything to you about it, but that I needed him to watch you for signs that you would or had shifted.”

“So Brandon has only been my friend because you ordered him to watch me?” I felt betrayed. I wondered how I couldn’t have known he had been my friend because he was ordered to.

“Actually, no. Brandon has been your friend for how long? Since you both started Kindergarten together, right? That makes what, twenty years?”

“Yeah, about that.”

“Brandon was sixteen the first time he shifted. So if you’ll do the math, you’ll see he was your friend for eleven years before he came to me. For the record, I only told him to watch you, to keep an eye out for you, because he was already your friend.”

“I see.” I calmed down and told myself to stop jumping to conclusions. I really wasn’t sure how I felt about all this, but it was more than a little upsetting to be finding it out now. 

“Generally, Kindred children are raised knowing what they are, or what they could be.” Bill continued. “They’re taught to keep the secret from their first words and steps and somewhere in their mid to late teens, they’re taught how to shift. Shifting’s not impossible before then, but it’s uncommon. It generally only happens in life threatening situations, when an animal form fears for its life and forces the change, like yours did.

“For someone who had no clue what she was or what was going on, to suddenly shift and manage to shift back to human so soon, without help, is a big accomplishment. It’s uncommon for someone who’s known what they are their entire life to manage the first shift without help.”

“But I did have help. Brandon told me what to do, how to shift back.”

“That’s not the kind of help I mean. What I mean is another Kindred either feeding you power or helping by forcing your animal form to retreat.”

“Kindred? You keep using that word, what do you mean by it?”

“Kindred is a term we use among ourselves, instead of pack or Kitsune. It helps to protect our secret from normal humans. If they never hear you refer to Pack or Kitsune, they can’t get suspicious and start asking questions. Kindred is an old fashion term for family; more commonly, it’s shortened to kin these days. But we use the full word, and it means a member of the pack or Kitsune.”

I was silent for a moment, unsure what to say. I was saved from having to say anything when Karen walked into the room carrying a plate filled with chunks of fruit and cheese.

“Here’s you a snack. I’ve dinner started and I expect you to stay and let me feed you that as well.” She sat the plate on the small table between the two chairs. The sight of the food made my stomach growl again and I felt my face redden with embarrassment. 

Bill chuckled. “Go ahead. I know you’ve got to be starving and I’ve been grilling you instead of feeding you.”

“Help yourself,” Karen said. “I know you’re hungry. Brandon brought your bag inside, it’s waiting for you next to the front door when you need it.”

“It’s fine where it is, but I’ll need it when I go home.”

“Why don’t you go ahead and eat and let it all sink in. I’m sure once the shock of it all wears off, you’ll have plenty of questions.” 

“Alright,” I said, shifting in my chair so I could easily reach the plate. I took a few pieces of cheese and popped them, one at a time, into my mouth as Karen spoke up.

“Dinner shouldn’t be too much longer, but I knew you were starving.” 

“Thanks,” I said between bites as I quietly ate the snack. I’d almost cleared the plate when it occurred to me. “Brandon said no one knows about the Kitsune, that it’s a well-kept secret.” I looked up at Bill for the first time in a while.

“That’s right.” Bill waited to see where I was going with this.

“Does this mean I can’t tell my family?”

“I’ve known your father for years and I trust him. I’ll agree to you sharing what you are, and by extension what we are, with your parents, if you want. That’s up to you. I’ll help you tell them, help you answer any questions they might have, if you like. However, that’s it. You can’t tell your siblings, or your friends.”

“I guess I can understand that. Can you give me a few days to process all that has happened and to decide?”

“Sure, take all the time you like. Here, let me give you a card.” Bill got up and went to his desk. “This has mine and Karen’s phone numbers as well as numbers for the pack’s Lysandros and Harmonia. “If you have any difficulties, anything at all, give one of us a call. You should be able to get someone at any given time, day or night.” He handed me a business card. I looked at it as he continued to speak. “If for some reason you can’t reach one of us, and you need someone, call the emergency number. It’s a line that’s kept staffed at all times, they’ll ask some questions about what is going on so they can send someone to help you. But no guarantees it will be someone you know, just that it’s someone high enough in the pack and with the right skills to help,” 

Four names were neatly printed on the card, including Bill and Karen, and a number next to each. There was also a fifth number labeled Emergency. 

“I have one more question, for now, I think.”

Bill lifted his brows and waited for me to ask.

“Will I be suddenly changing again? Am I safe to go home and be alone? Will I wake up in the morning only to discover that I’m a wolf again? I guess that was more than one question,” I said sheepishly.

“You’re safe to go home, the only way you’ll wake up as a wolf in the morning is if something threatens you enough to bring your wolf to the surface to protect you. Ninety-nine-point nine percent of the time, shifting is voluntary and deliberate. Even dreaming won’t bring on a change. Your wolf knows the difference between a dreamed threat and real one.”

I sighed, relieved. “That’s good to know, I was worried.” 

Karen insisted I stay for dinner, saying something about making sure I was properly fed after shifting, and then Bill drove me home.

“Thanks for the ride.” I hugged him before climbing out of the cab of his truck. 

“Think nothing of it.” He watched from the driver’s seat of his pickup as I gingerly carried my backpack along the cool sidewalk to my building and carefully, because of my bare feet, climbed the stairs. I waved and smiled at him before I let myself into my apartment. It was only after I was safely inside that he backed out of the parking space and left.