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3799 Words
When Deniz came in, his father and sister were starting to have dinner.
They opened the door and greeted Deniz, who entered slowly, with a warm greeting.
Afterwards, the sound of plates and cutlery regarding the meal dominated the room.
They spoke very little
A few words from time to time hung in the air.
They have nothing to share...
her older sister was going through a divorce
According to Deniz, it has been ignored for years
Her relationship with her family was not good due to her failed marriage.
A dull spinster girl..
Her smile was fixed, and her father had become alienated from the flow of life due to the monotony of doing military service for years, and he had started to cover up the pain he experienced, especially after losing his mother.
On such ordinary evenings, Deniz would also become silent and think about her. teacher.
She felt like she couldn't fight in this environment
fell into deep dreams
Besides, she was too tired to fight this war anyway.
she needed herself
She wants all the emotions that fill her during the day to flow away calmly.
Because she felt pain.
It was useless to express one of her feelings and another. She gathered all her courage and wrote a message to her teacher.
They wanted to go to dinner with three other people from the class and they wanted their teacher to be with them.
Who knows, maybe they would meet privately after this dinner.
Her only purpose is to get closer to the teacher ..
A slight line at the corner of her pale lips showed the meaning of the war raging inside her.
Sometimes she could not stand it and had a crying fit.
That line reflected her longing
dinner didn't take long
The father stood up and said good night to his daughters
He walked towards his room to light his cigarette.
It was a day like any other
Her sister sat under the lamp and picked up a magazine.
Deniz also walked towards her room. It was still very early. If there was another Night, she would take her book and read it until late hours, or she would look out the window to see what was going on.
While watching the streets, she would follow people passing by one by one and form opinions about them.
She would look at the bags in her hands and not think about anything in particular on nights like these.
SHe would think about middle school teacher, the first time she got into his car, the one he drove to the woods outside the city and
SHe would remember them making love in the car and she had an indescribable love for the beauty of the windows shining with the moonlight.
But today there was a weight on her
She longed for happy dreams
She changed her clothes, put on her pajamas and lay down on her bed.
She was remembering today's beautiful moments.
She and her teacher had tea together in the canteen. All eyes were on them. She spent the day with him.
They were rehearsing for their concert, which would include her own melodies accompanied by the violin. There was going to be a show at school. Then her teacher played according to her. Then she got emotional with the beautiful words coming from her. Today, they were flowing before her eyes. Suddenly, she was dreaming. SHe suddenly fell into reality and was saddened by the flow of time they spent together. At that moment, she suddenly heard her sister entering the bed in the next room.
The question crossed her mind that one day. he. would like to invite her to his house.
I wonder if her sister was crying in her room? It was obvious that she was going through a difficult time.
Her lips were covered in a sly smile. When she woke up, she found a message on her phone.
YOU come alone this time!
Let's meet again!
It was a few words, but for Deniz, these ordinary words were a gift
Today was her happiest day
Because that man's hands wrote these words...
Deniz needed great excitement from such important things.
She didn't expect that love to be a sparkling lover who would only embrace her.
She wanted this love to come from the depths of her soul
There was a hesitation and a dominant feeling of loneliness that came from her childhood, she never knew these feelings.
Thanks to her ability to communicate with objects from her childhood, books, pictures and pieces of music are literally talking to her. Before she met her love, she used to look at the men who entered her life. Her thoughts were like this. The few words in the message meant big things for her. She read these words to herself as if that man was reading her at that moment.
When she read her own name, she intoned it thinking that it was written with great respect.
She wrote with a bit of distance in case her family saw her.
In fact, while reading the lines written in a formal language, she felt so much like the man's voice and the image of his situation while writing them...
SHe almost didn't understand what the man said
The man (Mr.Anderson) had to write distantly because he was afraid of his family's reaction.
According to what was written in the message, her teacher wanted to know whether she would join the dinner planned for this Sunday.
They were also going to do a study that was planned much earlier, and he wrote something about it. Finally, a friendly greeting was given, the writing was finished and a good day was wished.
Here Deniz was reading the lines in front of her over and over again.
Really intense feelings under those lines. she believed that she was sleeping
But this is practices were nothing but reflections of her
So this love was not a very old story.
They met at school. Deniz was loved so much here..
SHe was more like a friend to everyone than just a student
The man was invited as a guest to an event here. This invitation later became permanent. He came by taking advantage of the teacher exchange program.
Even though he was a teacher to young people, their unsuccessful meeting took place very naturally.
The man was invited there to give a lecture.
He first caught the merman's attention in class.
He watched him so beautifully that he could immediately capture the calmness in the man's soul while he was working.
Yes, on the day of class, as the students were slowly leaving, he asked her to chat for a while.
Deniz showed his acceptance by slowly nodding her head.
However, unfortunately, this conversation did not take place due to the fact that it was very little intense.
Because they were afraid that the surrounding students would look at them.
They were afraid of attracting attention
From time to time, her eyes met with furtive glances. It was as if the man was lowering her body to his brain.
On such ordinary evenings
Literature teacher Özlem would remain silent.
SHe felt like s he couldn't fight this stifling environment.
SHe was already too tired to fight this war.
She needed calmness, she wished for all the emotions that filled her during the day to flow away calmly.
SHe loved to open her heart to herself in moments of calm
Because that's what she feels
She did not attempt to reveal any of her feelings to anyone else.
No matter how heavy these feelings were for her, she would not reveal her heart to anyone.
The light line at the corner of her pale lips gave a clue to the war going on inside her.
Sometimes, when she couldn't stand it anymore and had a crying fit, that line would reflect the longing inside her.
Dinner didn't last long, Dad stood up and wished good night, he was about to light his cigarette.
She walked towards her room. It was a day as usual. Özlem sat under the lamp and picked up her book. A literature teacher should always read. It was too early. If it was Another Night, she would pick up another novel and read it until late hours. Or look out the window.
S He used to watch, she didn't think about anything specific, on such nights she just had an indescribable love for the beauty of the sparkling glass, but today there was a heaviness on her, she felt a longing for sleep and the happy dreams that could possibly come together in sleep.
She quickly changed her clothes and lay down on her bed. She was remembering the beautiful moments of today. mathematics teacher, Necip, had looked at her with admiration. He had spent the day with her, listening to his own melodies.
They were rehearsing for their concert in which she would accompany her violin. Özlem's biggest passion was playing the violin. After the rehearsal, she studied classical music.
S He was fascinated by beautiful words. Oh, how beautiful were the mathematician's words.
Memories of today flowed from her eyes, she was suddenly diving into dreams and suddenly s he was falling into reality, the times they spent together.
SHe was sorry for the lack of time
Meanwhile, she heard her sister getting into hers bed.
Suddenly the question crossed hers mind whether s he would be invited to her house one day.
Her lips curled up with a smile
S. He was already sleepy. Within a few minutes, she was on his way to hers happy dreams and fell asleep. When she woke up, she found a message on the phone next to her
There were a few words on it, but Özlem saw these ordinary words as a gift.
Because the mathematician wrote these words, she read them to herself as if that man was reading them to her at that time.
While reading, he used a melodic intonation, thinking that it was written with great love. He kept a little distance in case his family saw it. He even said to himself while reading the lines written in formal language.
She was so caught up in the man's voice and hers imagination while writing these that she almost didn't understand what the man was saying.
According to the writers, the man was wondering whether s he would join the excursion planned for this Saturday.
he wanted to learn
There was a school trip this Saturday, and he told me that he wanted to go to a concert that was planned long ago. Finally, with a friendly greeting, what was written was finished.
SHe was reading the lines in front of him over and over again.
SHe believed that there were really intense emotions underlying those lines. However, these emotions were nothing but the reflection of his own emotions.
In fact, this love was not a very old story. They met in an association that gave violin lessons. Özlem was loved so much there that she was a friend to everyone rather than just a teacher.
Even though he was a violinist, his success was confirmed and their meeting took place very naturally.
Özlem was able to attract the man's attention for the first time in these lessons, and she adapted to him so well...
While she was playing, she could immediately catch the calmness and sincerity in her soul. At the end of their performance, while the applause was still going on, he offered her a little chat.
Özlem showed her acceptance by slowly nodding her head. However, unfortunately, this conversation was interrupted because they were both very busy.
It could not happen, the man could occasionally make eye contact with Özlem and examine her body with a furtive glance.
Due to the arrival of new people, they could not spare time for each other.
In fact, Özlem was almost about to forget what they had agreed to do. When everyone dispersed and things calmed down, the man said that Özlem
She came to him and asked in a soft voice if she could take him home. Özlem didn't know what to say for a moment.
But in the end the man was able to get the answer he wanted from him.
The house where Özlem lives with her family is far from the city.
It was far away. Therefore, this meant a long journey. They were silent at the beginning. They did not know what to talk about and where to start. Then the mathematics teacher Necip Erdogan started talking. Today we are together.
They talked about the pieces they played, school, students and other artistic topics
A woman who devotes herself so much to art is an introvert in real life.
It wasn't hard to understand.
Therefore, he puts his finger on Özlem's sensitive points.
r and made her open up to him
Özlem says some things about herself that she doesn't even realize.
He didn't know how the math teacher had told Necip.
He had somehow overcome the timidity that had always prevailed in him, and became friends with Necip, and even confidant after a point.
They had become what they were and he couldn't understand how it happened.
The man gave her such an impression that he was a magnanimous artist and nothing should be hidden from him.
Until now, Özlem's surroundings had always been full of ordinary people.
They were conservative. It was easy to predict what they would react to. A new door had been opened since that man appeared. It was like a quiet but bright night in front of Özlem. On such a calm night, two people were walking and
The shadows were dispersing in this silence, and he was filled with confidence as if he was talking to himself.
Emotions sinking deep in the chaos of the day; the calm of the night
love was emerging and unintentionally pouring into words On a cold winter's night
This long walk had brought them closer together. Özlem had forgotten her lover in another city, as if she was about to say goodbye to him.
The hands extended for the purpose remained united for a long time.
Then they parted ways like two old friends.
They met many times in a day at school, at first they just ran into each other, but later they agreed and started meeting.
On the edge of Porsuk or on the bar street, where cafes are lined.
Özlem is different
SHe impressed mathematics teacher Necip Erdoğan with her attitude and the novels she read.
Necip was watching with admiration his childish timidity and his spirit that surrendered itself to him.
The simple intensity of his emotions and his involuntary response to all kinds of beauty and subtlety, and his ability to convey this to his surroundings.
S He loved the shy ways he tried to hide.
These intense and exciting feelings that Özlem was able to accompany while she was with mathematics teacher Necip Erdoğan were very foreign to her.
This man, who suddenly found himself in the world of adults, had never tasted the beauty of his childish feelings.
He loved passionately, aiming for s****l satisfaction at the end of the work, and all his emotions were exhausted there. He knew himself; he was disgusted with himself when he succumbed to some of his weaknesses; lust and sexuality were just like his art.
SHe brought vitality to his life and soul.
He thought that his virtuosity in playing the violin came from his strong masculinity.
He was aware that his literature teacher Özlem's feelings for him were shy and loyal, and she fit the definition of perfection he had created for a woman in his dreams.
He loved Özlem personally
She admired his calm and reserved artistic spirit. Sometimes Özlem would examine the man carefully, as if he were a work of art.
Every moment you pour your heart out to him is a sin
He felt relieved as if he had taken it off.
He wanted to chat with her at every opportunity.
Necip Erdoğan was jealous when she was with geography teacher Ayten Bektas.
He didn't worry about the flow of life, the days he spent
In his eyes, it was like a dream that just passed away.
For this reason, he did not have any worries about the future. He believed that this beautiful feeling of love that surrounded him with confidence would continue like this. One day, while they were drinking tea together at Özlem's house, the phone rang. It was the doctor, who lives in another city.
It was her boyfriend, Özlem suddenly panicked. She immediately made a sign for silence with her hand. Necip remained silent and did not speak up throughout the phone call.
Özlem explained that there was no one with her and that she was alone at home. This was the day Özlem cheated on her boyfriend. Most of the time, Özlem was with mathematics teacher, Necip.
S He didn't even feel the need to talk when she was around Erdoğan, they just talked while looking at each other, they read books together or kept silent together, reading a book with him was very enjoyable.
It was fun to go to the movies with him. He was also watching it on the other side, imagining it.
When he said a few words, his dreams started to become brighter and brighter.
All the sounds of daily life were silent now there was only calmness
And that melody that came from the depths of his heart. That's the melody he heard.
At times, a need for compassion was awakening in him. She realized that she was completely under Necip Erdoğan's influence, but he was unfairly forcing her into books.
He was passionate about literature and art.
He couldn't take himself away from her.
He felt very strange in front of her because he thought he was constantly taking something from her even though he couldn't give her anything.
I go to the man's house a few times a week now.
It had become a habit for him to go. In the beginning, these meetings took place during rehearsals for the planned program.
But later on, they couldn't give up on these one or two hours. Özlem thought that she had nothing to hide in front of the man.
One day, while walking around the market, a woman
SHe saw the laundry and asked Necip Erdoğan to buy the laundry she liked very much.
"I'll buy it too, but I have one condition," he said. "I'd like to see it on you."
When they came home, Özlem stood in front of Necip Erdoğan, looking like a model in her new underwear.
started to wander around.
She, too, was watching herself with admiration. Most of the time, she did not even notice that this man, who was sitting at her knees and listening to her with excitement, took her hands and pressed his warm lips to her hands from time to time.
Necip has dark skin
He placed a kiss on her shoulder.
Özlem was in a completely different world of dreams and she trembled with this kiss.
He felt that he was getting wet, these hours they spent together were like salvation for him.
Özlem said, "Kissing is a very innocent thing." "Then let's kiss," Necip said.
He got up from his seat and came to Özlem. The only thing he was aware of was that these hours were shining hours into his boring and monotonous day.
He had no other concern than being calm and peaceful. All he wanted was to escape towards happiness. Despite this desire, he did not clearly reflect his happiness.
reflected on his face when he is around other people and his family.
He was holding back a smile by squeezing himself.
He wanted to hide all his experiences from all evil eyes like a delicate work of art that could be broken into a thousand pieces by the attack of his vicious fingers. For this reason, he wanted to hide all his experiences from evil eyes.
He surrounded happiness with ordinary words so that it would not be shattered by the attacks of others.
The night before the Sunday evening when they had planned a trip together, they were at his house again, wearing that strange dress while knocking on the door.
There was timidity.
Necip Erdoğan quickly opened the door and welcomed him in. When they entered the room, he took the thin jacket he was wearing and touched his lips to her delicate hands. The two of them sat down together on the dark sofa.
They settled in. The room was bright.
The outside air, blocked by clouds, was slowly reflecting inside.
Necip Erdoğan asked if we should light a candle for a romantic atmosphere, but literature teacher Özlem did not want it
. She liked this half-lit state of the room.
They were sitting in silence, both of them started reading a book.
Necip Erdoğan was reading the novel The Alchemist.
Özlem was reading the novel titled Veronika Wants to Die. Every detail in the room was visible with the statue on it. The writing desk standing in the corner was clear
There were Mathematics books, various novels and city books on the table. There were refrigerator sounds from somewhere in the house.
The ticking of the clock could be heard from a distant corner, faintly reaching the ear.
It was like the angry footsteps of the time flowing mercilessly. The cigarette the man had lit before the longing came.
The smoke floated in the dim darkness of the room.
The coolness coming in through the half-open window was dispersing this smoke.
They were engrossed in conversation.
from teachers at school
they were talking.
They were talking about the geography teacher, Ayten Bektaş, the school principal, the students, the art teacher, the physics teacher, and how difficult it was to go to the movies with the physics teacher.
They talked to each other about how he couldn't choose the seat he would sit in. That's why he was trying to calculate the angle of inclination rather than buying a ticket and thinking about where to see the screen better. At first, they told each other about daily topics and topics.
While there were smiles, the subject gradually deepened and the man talked about a composition he heard in a village he visited and a love affair.
He was talking about his song, and for some unknown reason, this song, which he could not fully understand at the time, came to his mind and became a work of art.
- Writer
