His oppression

Preparation

Chapter Twenty-Four: PREPARATION

You could say I have been manifesting avoiding Radcliff at all costs in the house in the couple of days that went by. I have never been too keen on going to my job as much as I was now because that meant I wasn’t going to see any of him the whole day. And that’s what I want.  It’s not even me being mad at him for lying to me anymore. It’s the fact that I have embarrassed myself for kissing him back when I was trying to be angry. It didn’t justify my feelings at all and I’m starting to form more hatred for myself now.

I’m kind of surprised too that Radcliff was still at my apartment every single time I stepped inside when I got home from work. He’s sitting there on the sofa, reading a book or just staring blankly into the void. I was assuming that he’d left with his doll because he knows what I could do to it. Though I’m just good with threatening people with intimidating words, do I look like I have the balls to go on with my plan? Actions are indeed louder than words and they have to believe that more.

Threats mean nothing without actions.

After a long day of work again, I felt more exhausted compared to my days before and that’s really saying something. I wasn't just physically tired this time-- I was emotionally drained and mentally unstable. If everything is too overwhelming for me, I know my body is just going to shut down on its own again. For this situation, I’d rather do that than to deal with him tonight again.

His attempts at talking to me, offering me food, were acknowledged, of course. But he wouldn’t get any responses from me and in that way, it makes me feel like I’m a horrible person and I’m not treating him right.

Coming from someone who had a mindset before that I don’t really need to worry or be concerned about what people feel, it’s difficult to digest for my own good too. So what is my solution? Avoid every problem I encounter because truthfully, I have no way of knowing how to manage it without falling apart.

“Good evening, Aria.”

I almost jumped as I was too distracted with my thoughts before looking at Radcliff who had a grin on his face. He shouldn’t have but here he was right now, looking like an i***t.

“Have you eaten?--”

“--Yes”

“--I don’t think you have.” he cut me off, grabbing me from my arm before gently pulling me towards the kitchen.

I really had no energy to hold against him so I just let what he wanted to happen.

Surprise is an understatement when I saw food for a feat on the small kitchen table I owned. The food I saw was quite expensive to say the least and imagining just what Radcliff did to make this happen just didn’t cross my mind even if I had processed what was going on.

“I’ve noticed your weariness over the days. I have made a decision to want to ease what you’re currently feeling right now.”

“I’ll have you guess why.”

“Your work?” he sarcastically replied before pulling out the chair before me and I’ve still been eyeing him suspiciously.

There were things he couldn’t move and I was still not clear with that.

“I wish it was work,” I shrugged my shoulder, looking over the meal one by one and calculated inside my head how much they must have cost before looking at him.

“Did you spend your money?”

“Who said anything about spending money?” he asked with a slight smirk.

I frowned. “Did you steal?”

“I might have.”

An exasperated sigh escaped my lips. “I’m not eating this.”

“Well how was I to pay when they couldn’t see me?”

“How were you able to shop for food, anyway?” I just stood up, losing my appetite when I found that out, the chair creaked when it slid.

I was sitting back in the chair when Radcliff pushed my shoulder down. “I had my ways. Come on, please Aria. Just eat. It had been a very busy day for me and I had the hardest time preparing this.”

“And I owe you that?” I laughed bitterly, my arms across my chest. “You shouldn’t have done this if you’re just going to complain.”

“It will all go to waste when you don’t eat it.”

“And that’s still my problem? You brought this to yourself, don’t bring me into it.” I grumbled, looking at him with annoyance.

He sighed loudly. “Then what can I do to make you forgive me?”

“Nothing.” I muttered under my breath.

“Nothing?”

“Nothing. I told you before I’ll find a way to break the curse and that’s the only way I can forget about this. If there’s a memory-erasing spell I might find, I’ll try that too.”

“You didn’t believe me when I told you that I have feelings for you, did you?” he just asked, jis voice low just above a whisper.

“That was a little low, you know? You’ve already pretended you cared and then you tell me that, tell me how I’m supposed to be feeling right now.” I looked at him dead in the eye.

“Do you really think I was pretending all this time?” he asked, his voice cracking. “Do you really think that? We’ve had this conversation before but I’m not going to stand here without defending myself.”

“Defending yourself? Sure.” that made me laugh a little at how ridiculous that sounded. “Tell me right now, your side of this whole ordeal.”

“I told you before and I’ll tell it again, I’ve wanted one thing from the first time I encountered you and that was to use you.” he carefully said his words. “So I can finally get out of this life. Then, if I happen to live and not disappear from the world, I’ll take my anger out on you.”

That was my first actually what I first thought when he said he wanted revenge on Genevieve.

“So our family lineage would disappear, is that it?” I just asked, not really worried about that anymore. “You’ll take me with you.”

He nodded his head. “But it was never in my plans that I would… be bewitched by someone.”

“You think I bewitched you? Charmed you so I could foil your plans?” I asked, a little angrily this time.

“N-no, that’s not what the word means, Aria.” he told me, his voice stuttering a bit. “Bewitched-- fall for you. That’s what I have been feeling even if it’s a short amount of time that we’ve been together. It does feel like we’ve known each other for so long that it doesn’t matter when we had met or how we did.”

“If you’re going to lie to me now I might as well just tell you the truth.” I sighed deeply. “You know I’m not one to trust so easily. But I’ve been very confident of you, Radcliff. That you’d never be the person to hurt me. The circumstances we are in right now won’t allow us to be together even if we do both want it. I don’t want to be selfish just because I feel something for you too. And causing pain to me is inevitable. I always thought you’ve suffered enough throughout your lifetime and that will just make me more miserable, knowing I had a chance to end it all for you and I’m just going to keep you for myself.”

“...I would have wanted that now, Aria. More than anything.” he told me almost breathlessly, taking a seat beside me. “ Can we just put this behind us and move on with our lives?”

“No.” I answered almost immediately. “You’re seriously taking advantage and that’s not cool. We’re literally worlds apart and you’re going to insist we forget about this s**t and get over it? Is that really that easy for you?”

“Why can’t we just try!?” he asked, taking my hands in his. “I will forgive Genevieve for what did--”

“Why would she be the one apologising when you’re the one at fault here?” I interrupted him. “You’re the one who should be apologising.”

“But she did this to me. And you said I don’t deserve it.”

“That was before I knew the truth.”

“The truth is on their side?” he intertwined our fingers. “You’re saying they’re telling the truth but just from their side.”

“Then what is your truth?”

He looked at me, as if thinking about what he was going to say and that was just enough reason to pull away from him.

“It’s impossible, Radcliff. Let’s just get this done and over with in a few days.” I stood up again, running my fingers through my hair. “It’s the full moon. If it doesn’t work, we’ll try another method again… and again.”

“You are a good person, Aria. It’s okay to be selfish once in a while, yes?”

“You’re just saying that to get out of the mess you put yourself into,” I sighed. “Clean up this mess, I’m going to bed early.”

“Can you just please eat? No matter what I did to get these, it was still a pure intention. I’m worried about you.”

I looked at him before plopping back down. “Okay.” I just gave up because at that moment I felt my stomach grumble.

The food does look delicious. And it’s really going in the waste when I don’t eat it. He can’t eat so who will?

“That’s my girl,” he smiled at me before reaching the other dishes closer to me so I wouldn’t have a hard time having to myself.

“I’m just tired and can’t argue with you anymore.” I explained, taking a bite of the chicken before moaning at how it tasted.

“If you looked pale before, you are more now. It’s difficult not to notice it.”

“I mean I’ve been stressed before,” I told him, taking a huge bite of the other food that was there. “But I’m just more stressed now thanks to you.”

“I’m sorry,” he pushed aside the hair that had fallen and tucked it in behind my ear. “I would never apologise before but I really am regretful to have caused you such distress.”

“Do you really like me?”

“I do.”

“What did you like about me?”

“Do I need to have a reason for fancying you?”

“Of course!” I hit his arm with a frown. “You need to give me a reason. Just one reason is enough.”

“I really like your smile and laugh. You didn’t do it often before but you do. And these past days, I miss that.”

His eyes were settled on mine and I can’t help but to mind it a little bit. “Psh, you know liars go to hell. And that was two.”

“Two.”

“You said two reasons… I think.” I continued eating , fighting off the smile that was trying to claim my lips.

I saw him smile. “I have many reasons why I like you.”

“You just said you didn’t have a reason.” I looked at him.

“I just asked, I never said I didn’t have any.” he chuckled, his face was nearing mine.

“I’m still mad at you.” my eyebrows furrowed. “You’re moving to another topic to distract me, aren’t you?”

“Why would I?” he laughed, placing a hand on my cheek. “Can I kiss you again?”

“No! Your lips are cold!” I pushed his body away so I could focus on my eating again and not having second thoughts on my plan of releasing him.

I made it clear to myself that this is it, it’s never going to progress anymore. I’m still going to be selfish too, I’m doing this for myself so I wouldn’t have to deal with such negativity in my life. This isn't for him anymore. And no matter what he does to change my mind, I’ll stand guard.