Eat Me

ChapterEighteen

Thanks to Dillon, I had made it to the restaurant before Beverly - a first in our friendship. Spilling my guts to her was one of my top priorities for the day - that and not checking my phone every half hour to see if Warren had texted.

Gina, a young waitress around my age, escorted me to the table, and I ordered a gin and tonic to keep me company until Bev arrived. I'll admit, my funds were tight enough that I could have held off, especially after I checked the price of a double gin and tonic on the menu, but if I settled for a small bowl of pasta with no sides, I could make do.

I sat there for ten minutes, contemplating how much info I would divulge on what had happened between Warren and I. Bev was friends with us both, and who was I to put her in the middle? Though, as soon as she walked through the door with Gina and a menu on her heels, I concluded that I'd put it all on the table.

"Well, f**k me sideways, you're here before me!" The blonde beauty laughed as she placed her purse on the table. Maybe I had missed the memo on what to wear because I suddenly felt incredibly underdressed. Wearing a strapless, baby blue dress that hugged her body like a second skin, Bev looked like she'd walked right off the red carpet and into the restaurant. Only then did I take note of the dinner attire everyone else was wearing, like the woman and her husband to my left - both coated in expensive jewelry. Or the family in the corner who looked like they could afford to buy dinner for everyone here.

I didn't belong.

"A friend from work gave me a ride." I focused my attention back on my friend. If I could block out the intrusive thoughts and pretend it was just us two here, I could actually enjoy my night.

"What friend?" She asked, between flagging down our waitress and ordering a stiff drink. Everyone I worked with knew Beverly, she was my hot friend with the legs that went on for days. Beverly, on the other hand, knew everyone by nicknames she'd given them, like: cankles, baldy, and the dude with the sweaty manboobs. None of which had ever spent any time with me outside of work.

"The new guy, Dillon," I dropped my sights on my drink, avoiding her questioning gaze with a 'spill the tea' smirk. "He gave me a lift on the back of his motorbike." I held my hand up to stop her from bombarding me with questions. "And yes, I actually kinda liked it."

"Where is my friend and what have you done with her?" She laughed, taking a large sip of the drink that had been placed in front of her. "You're telling me, you got on the back of a motorbike. You, the girl who calls them loud attention-seeking monstrosities. What does he look like and when is the wedding?"

It felt like I was hiding a school crush from my best friend with the way she was probing me. Although, I couldn't help but laugh at the shocked look on her face, it really was so unlike me. After what had happened between Warren and I, I guess I let Dillon replace my dark thoughts with someone new.

We ordered our food and whilst we waited, I answered all her silly questions about Dillon, mainly what he looked like, how tall he was, what celebrity I would compare him to. I couldn't answer if he was single or who he lived with because I flat out didn't know. He could be married for all I knew, not like I go around looking at men's ring fingers when I meet them.

Midway through our meal, I slipped onto the conversation about Warren and what had happened round my place. It wasn't news to her that we'd slept together before, and Bev had always thought we would eventually become an item - after he had finished whoring around (her words, not mine.) So to see the anger radiating off her when she found out that he up and left in the middle of the night, made me uncomfortable. I didn't want her to hate him, I needed to vent and get her thoughts on what I did wrong.

"And he hasn't spoken to you since?" She almost growled.

"Nope. I know it was stupid to do what we did, but I can't lose him as a friend. I need to know what I did that-"

She reached across the table and grabbed my hand, giving it a squeeze. I didn't want to see it - that look of pity mixed with love in her eyes, but I knew it was there.

"Don't you dare think that this is your fault. This has nothing to do with you, Cass. You know what he's like. I know what he's like, and I'm the dumb cunt who thought maybe he'd get his s**t together and finally make a go of it with you. So, for that, I'm sorry. You deserve better than that, better than him."

I closed my eyes, biting back the tears that threatened to spill. I wouldn't ruin our dinner by crying at the table, I'd wait until I was home by myself to break down. But what she had said really hit home. Bev wasn't at fault here, and if she saw herself to blame like I saw myself, then I'd have to admit that it probably was Warren.

"Now, I don't want to hear anymore about that t**t. Tell me about what happened with the hot guy from the club the other night, the one who was eyefucking you upstairs."

Shit, Justin. I'd had so much going on, I'd almost forgotten about him. Almost. I'd be in a different situation entirely if I hadn't gone home to Warren and stayed out with Justin.

I'll admit, I was taken aback when he offered - no, insisted - on walking me home. He didn't spark me as the type - not that I knew anything about him really, other than his name.

"Christ, look at you, all deep in thought about all these men chasing after you." Bevs' laughter tore me from my thoughts.

"I don't know what to say about him, to be honest. He excites me." Wow, I didn't expect that to come from my mouth. "Something about him makes my blood run cold, but in a good way. I know that doesn't make sense."

I expected her to laugh at what I was saying, to call me weird or say that I needed to see someone. I didn't expect her to understand and agree with what I was saying. But she did. She was holding something back. We'd been friends for too long for me not to notice. She had heard me out though, listened to me go on about my problems without pushing me, and I wasn't going to push her.

The rest of our meal was spent hearing about a guy Bev had been seeing for a while now. It was the first I heard about the guy, but the way her face lit up when she spoke about him gave me an understanding as to why she kept him hidden for so long - she wanted him all to herself. Who was I to hate on her for wanting to stay safely in that bubble?

I wondered if I could have that for myself one day.

After dinner, Bev suggested we go for a drink to unwind after the week I'd had. By that point, I was counting pennies. I was at a toss up between buying a drink or two, or paying my phone bill in the morning. Bev being Bev, didn't take no for an answer and hailed us a taxi to take us across town to Bump - a little bar I'd never heard of before.

My outfit didn't scream big night out, so I kept my fingers crossed that it was more of a small dive than anything. Why we couldn't go to one of the pubs in the area pissed me off, especially when I felt obligated to spend even more money I didn't have on the taxi fare.

The taxi slowed to a halt down a street I'd never been on, in a part of town I hadn't even passed through before. It wasn't necessarily late enough for the streets to be empty, though they were definitely busier than anywhere near where I lived. We climbed out the taxi, Bev coming round to my side to grab my hand. "Trust me, OK. This place is exactly what you need."

Before I had a chance to think, she had already dragged me through the door under the flickering neon sign. Inside wasn't much bigger than my flat, a small stage sat in the corner with a band playing slow, achingly depressing music that called out to my soul. Lighting was sparce, a few lamps hanging from the ceiling above the bar and candles centered on almost every table.

"See, I knew you'd love it," Bev said, wrapping an arm around my shoulder, before ushering me to the bar.

She wasn't wrong. I really did love it. For once, I didn't feel out of place. Bev pulled out her card and got the attention of the bartender.

"Can I buy you a drink?" To my left, a heavily pierced man with yellow pupils asked, his tongue split like a snake.

"Thank you, but I'm actually here with my friend and she's probably-" The man with the piercings got up from his seat at the bar and walked away mid sentence. I bit my tongue from shouting 'rude' in his direction, but when I turned to vent about the guy to Bev, I was met with someone I wasn't expecting to run in to.

"Hi," was all I managed to say, staring up to meet his eyes.

"Hi," Justin replied, his eyes boring into me.

It felt like an eternity had passed before either of us spoke again. In the pit of my stomach, the butterflies had returned, and I couldn't force out any words in fear of ruining the moment.

Luckily, he broke first. "Can I buy you a drink?"

His body was so close, I only had to reach out and my hand would have connected with him - a need that I had forced back down.

"I mean, I'm here with my friend," I licked my lips, "it wouldn't be fair to leave her." Although, I really, really wanted to.

Justin took a step to the side, giving me a better view of the bar behind him. Sitting at one of the tables was Bev, cosying up to some guy. They looked deep in conversation, only glancing up and smiling in our direction before continuing.

"Looks like your friend won't mind."