TRAPPED IN A DARK ROMANCE

Chapter 1 : Time To Make A Choice

Eighteen years ago, I was 21 years old, in the prime of my life, and you know, at that time of a woman's life when she has almost every man at her feet, it's very difficult to make one choice among so many solicitations, and even harder to stick to one choice.

At that age, I was a graduate student and well, you know, men were after me a lot. I admit it was wrong but, not having been able to settle on one choice among so many boys who were all nice, gentle, caring, kind, I fell into a form of polyandry, yes I had several relationships with several boys at once.

I would not advise you young girls to do this, it was a mistake on my part, and I paid the price. In total I had 05 boyfriends at that time, it was also that in reality, not having found in any boy all the characteristics that I was looking for, well I found these characteristics separately in several boys in order to be fulfilled.

At that time there was Cedric; very tall, he was my crush, his physique was just breathtaking.

Then there was Stephen, so intelligent and confident, I loved that.

There was also Christian, his "dark alpha" side seduced me so much, he knew how to wake up the animal female in me, he knew how to touch me in the right way, and with him the flights to the seventh heaven were incomparable.

There was also Dimitri, ah this guy, he knew how to give love and comfort through his words and his gestures, when I was down and needed to be cheered up a bit, he was the man for the situation.

Then there was John, I loved him for his extreme availability and kindness, he was always there for me when I needed him, and always ready to help me. Of all of them, it was he who later became my husband, and then my worst nightmare...

Ah how unpredictable life can be...

Fortunately, I had managed to manage all these boys without them ever knowing that I was in a relationship with all of them at the same time; that's because I loved them all at that time, I didn't want to lose any of them.

But you know the society with its imposed standards; at that age, 21, you had to think about settling down and soon even be married, to have the respect of the society.

Considering marriage as a sacred commitment, I could not continue to play around as I had done until now; and so for a serious long-term relationship, I had to make a choice, and it was John.

Yes, John, he was the nicest of them all, so considering that marriage is a prison, he would have been the easiest prison to live in.

So, I had to cut the bridges with the others who, in the end, were not so seriously committed to me either, so the separations were not difficult.

However, I didn't realize it, but all these boys had left their traces in me, and so in a way a void was dug inside me; for example the way one of them made love to me, the way the other one knew how to talk to me, all this had an influence on me.

So I found myself alone with John, the only one who was serious about me, so I had made the right choice, but would he be able to fill the gaps that the others had left?

Look at the useless burden I had now put on him, all this because I had played the weathervane between several boys, I repeat, I paid a high price for it.

Two years later, John, 25 years old, and who had already acquired a good financial situation, and I, 23 years old, got married. At the beginning it was as you can imagine, happiness everywhere, but then...

John and I had decided not to make love before our wedding, at least that's what we would have liked, although I won't hide from you that it was more John's wish; does that surprise you?

Well, I too was surprised, and even impressed!He was indeed very observant of religion and was therefore firmly attached to the fact that he had no right to have s****l relations with a woman he had not married.

However, I had made it clear to him that I was no longer a virgin, and he didn't mind, the most important thing for him was that we save ourselves for marriage.

I appreciated that he respected GOD so much and that he also made me sacred in a certain way, but unfortunately; I could not be faithful to his commitment, I cheated, yes.

During the period when we were not married, but we were already seriously committed to each other, I could not bring myself to no longer experience, feel, this immense pleasure that a s****l intercourse brings.

So yes I cheated and secretly, I was still having s*x with Christian, my ex who knew how to make love to me.

John wanted to respect his commitment to GOD; and I respected him, but having already experienced the pleasures of s*x, asking me to deprive myself of it was too much to ask, this is a consequence of accumulated exes.

He, Christian, had been surprised that I contacted him again, after having told him that I had a boyfriend with whom I was very serious. I had just sent him a text message that said

-I want to see you.

To which he replied:

-You know where to find me, you know where I live.

I had found him again and that day I made it clear that I just needed him to have s*x, nothing more.

During the s*x, you could see how much I was craving, so wild, aggressive and demanding and insatiable.

For several hours Christian filled me up in bed. At the end I was fully satisfied, enough to last for a long time without needing to have s*x, because believe me I was not happy to cheat on a John; besides, every time I did it I felt extremely guilty.

But I needed it. Once we got used to our flesh to something, s*x in my case, it becomes very

difficult to deprive ourselves of it. As for Christian, he felt proud of having marked me to the point where I still needed to have s*x.

- So what? Your fiancé doesn't do enough for you in bed?

- That's none of your business.

- Whatever you say, but just know that whenever you need it, I'm there.

I came home to find John, who had just returned from work.

- Baby, I was surprised not to find you at home, where were you?

- I'm sorry, honey, I was visiting a friend who is in the country and we had a lot to talk about.

- Oh right. Oh what a crazy day at work! I'm so tired and hungry

- Ok relax baby, I'll make you a bath and while you wash I'll heat up the food.

- Thank you honey, you are my angel.

I don't want to brag, but apart from my infidelity, I wasn't a bad companion. I took care of him, I took care of the house, it was always tidy and clean; I cooked very well, you get the picture.

As far as work was concerned, no, I didn't have a job. Having applied to several companies, and in all of them being offered the "couch" phase, I preferred to give up, and John had encouraged me by telling me that I didn't have to worry about it, that anyway he was there to take care of me, to provide for all my needs.

All I had to do then was to be a good female presence for him, not being his wife yet.

He took very good care of me and I must admit that I didn't lack anything, moreover he was a very peaceful man to live with, he never got angry, he was always very gentle and caring.

I couldn't really blame him for anything, that's why it hurt me to cheat on him by sleeping with someone else, but I couldn't help it, I was a woman who was already sexually active, I needed to be fulfilled on that point too.

So regularly I found myself with Christian, my ex, and he sent me to seventh heaven as he knew how to do, he even took so much pleasure in it because men love that, knowing that they have left an indelible mark on you, which will always bring you back to them even if in principle you are already committed to another man.

We had already done it so many times, that in the long run I didn't even feel guilty towards John; I just made sure that he never found out that I was cheating on him; but otherwise, during my flights with Christian, I gave myself to it with joy, body and soul.

He made love so well, in a mix of tenderness, firmness, barbarity, sweetness, with a touch of sadomasochism; he was the embodiment of male s****l domination. But there came a time during which he had to be absent for a long time, for work, so we took a break.

It was during this same period that one day John said to me:

- It's time to make things official and to meet our different families, I've taken enough time, I want you to be my wife; I want you to bear my name, I want you to be mine and I want you to be yours

- I wanted to hear you say that so badly, I was looking forward to that moment

-John: And that moment came. I took a leave of absence from work. So tomorrow we're going to see my family first, are we okay?

- Gladly my darling.

To be continued...