Ride or Die: The Alpha's Reckless Queen

Chapter 2: A Debt Come Due

He looked at me like I was a bill that had finally come due.

Not confused. Not surprised, not really — more like a man watching a debt collector arrive exactly on the day he'd circled on the calendar, dreading and expecting it in equal measure. That unsettled me more than anger would have. Anger I could match. This — this careful, assessing stillness — I didn't have a name for yet.

"Ronan," someone called from further inside the compound, a woman's voice, sharp with warning. He didn't turn toward it. He didn't take his eyes off me at all.

"You've got a name," I said, when the silence had stretched long enough to feel like its own kind of insult. "I'd like to know it, since you already seem to know mine."

"Ronan Vale." He said it the way some men say their rank — flat, factual, expecting it to mean something. And judging by the way the two men flanking the gatehouse straightened when he said it, it meant plenty. "You rode in here alone, at one in the morning, onto Reapers land, to accuse us of arson. That's either very brave or very stupid, Ms. Calloway."

"It's Rae," I said. "And I haven't accused you of anything yet. I asked a question."

"You didn't ask anything. You told me what you saw and dared me to argue."

He wasn't wrong, and I hated that he wasn't wrong, hated the small, humiliating flicker of respect that came with watching someone catch me out that cleanly. My father used to do the same thing — cut straight through whatever story I was telling myself and lay the truth down flat on the table like a wrench that didn't fit the job. I hadn't missed that particular skill in anyone since he died. I certainly hadn't expected to find it in a stranger holding court at a biker gate at one in the morning.

"Fine," I said. "Then I'll ask it straight. Did your club burn down my father's garage tonight?"

He didn't answer right away. That was the first real crack I found in him — the hesitation, brief as a blink, gone almost before I caught it, but I'd spent my whole life reading engines for the half-second stutter that told you something deeper was wrong under the hood. Men aren't so different. He had a stutter in him too, right at the center, and it told me everything his silence was built to hide.

"I don't answer accusations shouted at a gate," he said finally. "Come back in daylight. Bring whatever proof you think you have. We'll talk like people who aren't currently exhausted and grieving."

"I'm not leaving until I get a real answer."

"You'll leave," he said, "because staying doesn't get you one faster. It just gets you cold."

Something about the calm certainty in his voice made me want to put my fist through it. I'd buried my father five months ago in a suit he never once wore alive, and I'd spent every day since learning exactly how much a person can carry before something in them starts to give — and I was so close, right then, to the edge of my own give, that this man's infuriating composure felt like a personal insult.

"You people don't get to burn down twenty-two years of somebody's life," I said, and my voice finally cracked the way I'd been fighting all night to keep it from doing, "and then tell me to come back when the sun's up so it's more convenient for you."

For the first time, something moved behind his eyes. Not softness — I wouldn't have believed softness if I'd seen it — but a kind of recognition, like he was looking at me and seeing someone he almost, almost remembered.

"Nobody said anything about convenience," he said, quieter now. "I said daylight. There's a difference between waiting and refusing."

I didn't have an answer for that. I was too tired, too smoke-stung, too far past the edge of whatever version of myself normally knew how to argue a point. I just stood there in the wash of that one security light with my father's jacket hanging heavy on my shoulders and my hands still shaking faintly from the ride, and I watched Ronan Vale watch me back like he was doing math he didn't want to be doing.

"Fine," I said, mostly because I didn't trust myself to say anything else without it turning into something I'd regret. "Daylight, then. But I'm coming back. And next time I want a name, not a riddle."

"Understood."

He turned to go. That should have been the end of it — the smart end, the end where I got back on my bike and rode home to whatever was left of home and let the sun come up on a slightly less catastrophic version of this conversation.

Instead I reached out and grabbed his arm.

I don't fully know why. Maybe it was five months of grief with nowhere to put itself. Maybe it was just that he was walking away from me the same unbothered way everyone in my life seemed to walk away eventually, and some old, tired, furious part of me refused to let one more person do it without at least looking me in the eye first.

He went rigid under my hand like I'd touched a live wire.

Not flinched — I want to be precise about that, because flinching would have made sense, flinching is what strangers do to strangers. This was different. This was stillness so complete it felt loud, his whole body locking up at a single point of contact like no one had touched him, actually touched him, in longer than made any sense for a man surrounded day and night by a compound full of people.

He looked down at my hand on his arm. Then up at my face.

And for just a second — one second, gone as fast as it came — I watched something flicker behind his eyes that had nothing to do with the fire, or my father, or any of the fury I'd ridden eleven minutes in the dark to deliver.

It looked, terrifyingly, like recognition.

"Let go," he said, quiet, and there was nothing threatening in it — if anything, there was something close to a plea, like he was asking me to release him from more than just my grip.

I did. My fingers came away from his jacket sleeve like they'd been the ones burned, and I stood there in the dark trying to make sense of a reaction that made no physical sense at all. Men like this — men who ran compounds behind iron gates, men whose own brothers-in-arms straightened their spines at the sound of his name — didn't flinch from a stranger's hand on their arm. Not unless something underneath that calm was strung a lot tighter than it looked.

"You felt something," I said, before I could stop myself. "Just now. What was that?"

"Nothing you need to worry about tonight." His voice had gone rougher, lower, like the words were costing him something to keep level.

"That's twice now you've told me not to worry about something instead of telling me what it is."

"Would a third time change your mind?"

"No," I admitted. "But I'd respect you more if you at least tried lying better."

Something that might, in a kinder world, have been the beginning of a smile ghosted across his mouth and vanished before it could fully arrive. "Get home safe, Rae Calloway," he said, and there was a strange formality to the way he used my full name, like it mattered to him to say it correctly. "We'll talk in daylight. I meant that."

"You'd better," I said. "Because I don't scare easy, and I definitely don't give up easy, and if you think one cryptic conversation at a gate is enough to make me forget my father's garage is a pile of ash right now, you're going to be very disappointed in me."

"I don't think I'll be disappointed in you," he said, quiet enough that I almost missed it, and there was something in the way he said it — some weight underneath the words — that followed me the whole ride home, long after the gate and the gold flash in his eyes had faded into just another strange detail in the worst night of my life.