Hate, actually

Chapter 8

Yesterday was made to bring confusion into my life. But also happiness. A lot of happiness.

I am about to be engaged to the CEO of Romano & Co and I am dating my best friend.

Well we're not exactly official yet but basically this is my life now.

The worst part of all of this is that I can't tell anyone. Not even Lauren because as much as I can trust her, she'll tell Steve because he's an exception and Steve will tell the whole world because Steve is Steve.

So now I'm in this f****d up love triangle with two of the most unlikely people and I can't tell a soul.

Ah, good times.

"So you're taking me to an amusement park?" I guess, as Leonardo is nearing what looks like one.

He's just picked me up from my aunt's house and hasn't had the chance to tell me where we're going because he's been on the phone since.

Thank goodness he's finally set his handheld down. It is a blue moon event which must be celebrated.

"Yes."

"I'm guessing your publicist somehow leaked our whereabouts and the paps will be there?" I inquire.

For some reason, I feel nervous.

"Uh-huh."

Leonardo and his stupid one worders. Am I that boring?

"Did you do that press conference where you were meant to talk about how we've been supposedly together for a while now?"

"Yup."

I decide to keep quiet. Talking to Leonardo when he's not in the mood to talk is like talking to a brick wall and it is very frustrating for someone who loves to talk, i.e: me.

The whole thing with Kai crosses my mind again for about the tenth time since I woke up.

Things with him feel... right. I feel as if I've been single for so long because my heart has been waiting for him to realise he likes me. Pathetic? Maybe. A little delusional too but I'm not at a loss here and that's all that matters, right?

"How did it go with the stylist?" Leonardo asks when he finally realizes his one worders have peeved me (or maybe he doesn't care and he's just curious about how much I embarrassed him in front of the stylist.)

"Gretchen? She's like champagne, personified. She's not at all what I expected." I shrug.

"What did you expect?"

"I don't know. Like a prim and proper British lady who drinks tea with her pinky finger up. Instead, I got the second coming of Bretman Rock, but the female edition. Except she's all brass and sharp angles-"

"Have I ever told you that you're really judgmental?" He cuts me off as he's parking the car.

"Yes but you're more so than I am."

"Right, continue."

We exit the car and I can already hear cameras clicking before I see them, even though the paps are outside the premises.

Leonardo laces his fingers through mine and we stroll casually in no particular direction.

"So she decided that online shopping together would be the best route so she can put my options on this other app of hers, where she can match them for me."

Leonardo looks at me. His eyes look really nice in broad daylight. He's wearing a fancy cashmere sport jacket that I really like. His fashion sense is really unmatched. I wonder if he too has a stylist. I doubt it, though. He's far too controlling.

"And then?"

"And then I showed her my go-to online shops and I wasn't even five minutes into pointing out my picks when she ruled out that I'm going through some emo phase."

Leonardo looks amused. "You do wear black a lot."

I look down at my gray woollen scarf, black knit sweater, dark jeans and black ankle boots. I'd hardly call this 'emo'. I actually tried really hard to look pretty today because of all the cameras.

I cringe when I suddenly remember that in the contract it says that Leonardo will be in charge of what I wear in public and will be responsible for the costs etc, which means I can't tell him that I don't need or want a stylist like I was planning to.

"Who's the judgmental one now? You wear black a lot, too."

Leonardo is about to say something but then we turn a corner and I hear one of the paps shout his name. I don't look there - not even in the general direction of the sound, as Leonardo's drilled into my head over and over again.

Apparently, if we don't acknowledge their presence, it'll seem like we can't hear them and we won't have to answer any questions and still seem polite to the public at the same time.

It also helps that Leonardo has rented out the whole place, meaning we can't be hounded by the paparazzi. Although the amusement park feels odd without any other people milling around, much like being at school in the night.

Leonardo steers me to a corndog stand to get as far away from the paps at the fences as possible, just for the meantime.

"Are you hungry?" he asks.

"I could eat."

So Leonardo buys us corndogs and we go and sit at some benches.

I suddenly feel a rush of guilt when I think about how I breached the contract. Leonardo is probably holding up his end of the bargain and I'm not. Not one bit.

I mean there was the thing about not telling anyone about the contract and then not being allowed to be in any other relationships.

"So, did you pick out the ring yourself?" I ask. I haven't seen it yet.

He nods. "Yes. I think you'll like it. It's a marquise cut, 10 carat diamond ring in 18 karat white gold. Had it handmade."

I cough.

18 karat white gold? A 10 carat diamond? Am I getting engaged to Bill Gates?

I'm about to complain about how I'll become the target of every criminal I come across in the streets of Riversands, New York, considering I usually walk alone. But I decide against it. I agreed to a deal and I signed a contract. I have to adhere to whatever (within reason) he decides will make the scheme more believable for the full two million dollars I'm supposed to receive. And he did promise some sort of security...

And this is when I suddenly feel cheap. Here I am, sitting in front of a younger Bill Gates - a man who can buy almost anything he wants like an insanely expensive ring for a scheme. And out of all his purchases, he practically bought me too, for just two million dollars.

Now when I say just, I don't mean I've ever come even close to producing such money, but it was probably nothing to him.

Damn you desperation, the seemingly everlasting albatross around my neck. 

When I don't answer him, he thinks I have doubts about the ring.

"The cut's great, I promise. You'll see," he says confidently.

"No, I'm not worried about the ring. I'm just nervous about how this will all pan out," I lie, "if people somehow figure out we're lying, they'll hate us."

When I'm done talking, I realize I've pretty much scared myself.

"Nobody's figuring anything out. I'll make sure of it."

And because of the way he says it, and because he is Leonardo Romano after all, I believe him.

●●●

Some cotton candy, and a million rides I forced Leonardo into later, we're walking hand in hand and the paparazzi are snapping away on their cameras.

We're a little closer to the them now by the fences - but not obviously so - and I know what's coming.

All I can think about is how much I don't want Kai to see any of these pictures. Fake or not, I'd hate to see him all coupley with someone else.

Suddenly, Leonardo brings us to a halt.

"I'm going to propose now. Try to be emotional," he whispers and I want to laugh but I don't.

He takes out a ring and goes down on one bended knee. I manage to pull off the whole shocked act because the ring is the most beautiful thing I've seen in all my days.

Leonardo notices this, and is smug about it, of course - clearly proud of himself.

"Sadie Torres," he says with an immense amount of intensity that barely looks feigned, "will you marry me?"

Damn but he should reconsider his career. Actor maybe?

And even though I love Kai and I have for years, I can't help but enjoy this moment in which a beautiful man is on bended knee proposing to me.

I cover my face with my hands, half for effect, and half to cover the blush I feel creeping onto my face.

"Yes!" I yell all dramatically, and Leonardo stands up to hug me.

He spins me around and all of a sudden it starts to snow and I'm laughing like a little kid. Leonardo looks pretty amused by this.

I must admit that it probably looks more real than anything we've done in the past couple of days because we hate eachother much less now.

It feels great to laugh, especially amidst what's supposed to be an awkward situation. 

He pulls away and puts the ring onto my finger. I can hear the paparazzi and amusement park staff cheering at our little act.

I can just feel it - we've done great.

"My friends want to meet you," Leonardo says in a lilting voice, cautiously, "we're all meeting later today."

I sigh, my mood dampened. "Look, Leonardo. I'm not going to watch you doing rich people activities with your friends like chewing tobacco and playing golf while I pretend to listen to some woman with a pretty name like Charlotte drawn on and on about the benefits of cosmetic surgery. Not my scene."

"I met your mom, Sadie."

"You loved her!"

We stroll to a ferris wheel and get on it, an unspoken agreement. I'm glad the ride is hooded and we're protected from the snow falling lightly onto everything.

"You'll love my friends."

"I'm pretty sure I won't."

"I am not negotiating this with you, Sadie. My friends do not believe this little scheme of ours and they are hell bent on proving that you are just another one of my flings."

"We're engaged now, so that will sort itself out."

I'm desperate and I feel trapped. I've never been as social as Lauren, Kai or Steve, so what more a get together with potential snobs.

It is indescribably hard for me to approach people outside my circle for the sake of socializing, the hypothetical idea itself is used to cut diamonds. I've never had to anyway, not until now.

Leonardo wraps an arm around my shoulder, and I mentally commend him for being so alert and masking the fact that we're basically in the middle of an argument for the paparazzi's sake. He obviously cares about his business, after all.

"Cara is coming tonight, she'll be all over me and I'll do something stupid if you're not there," he sounds deflated.

"Who's Cara?"

That name sounds so familiar. I'm pretty sure I heard one of the paparazzi ask about her on our 'first date'.

"An ex. Sort of. I don't really date but we were basically together for about a year. Just a casual relationship but a lot can happen in a year and routine can make you a little attached. I ended things last month when things grew too serious for my liking. We've been on and off since then and every time we hook up, I promise myself it'll never happen again but unfortunately I can't control everything."

Leonardo has commitment issues? Why am I not surprised?

"Not to be intrusive or anything but Steve mentioned you used to recklessly sleep around before me. His words, not mine. Was this before Cara or...?"

Leonardo looks at me almost sheepishly. I can almost picture him in whichever highschool he went to, sitting at the jock table and laughing at a joke his friend made with a pretty girl hanging onto his arm and his every word.

"Steve, that b****y bastard," he says, trying and failing at a British accent.

I can't help but laugh. "Well?"

"Okay so I may have been involved with a couple of miscellaneous women over the past years but I'd hardly call it sleeping around. Cara didn't care as long as I wasn't publicly seen with anyone. She mostly just cares about her rep." He shrugs nonchalantly.

And for some odd reason, I feel like she did care and he was just oblivious to it. Maybe it's the way she keeps coming back after he ended things or maybe it's because in a casual relationship, I too would act unphased even though I feel the opposite to save face and save my heart from more damage.

"So will you come?" He asks when I haven't said anything.

"Yeah... I guess I don't want Cara all over you because I also care about my rep. One condition, though."

"Name your price."

"You have to stick with me the whole time. I'm a little... socially awkward when I'm uncomfortable and I need to warm up to your friends, if that's even possible."

Leonardo looks at me like he's having an inside joke with himself. "Done."

"Leonardo, I'm serious."

"I know, I promise I'll stick with you the whole night."

All of a sudden, I realize how different Leonardo has slowly become in my eyes. I have a different idea of the Leonardo sitting next to me than the one I met at Romano & Co.

But not entirely, and so I decide that this man really confuses me. All I'm certain of is that it wouldn't feel right to call him Mr Romano anymore. It's just Leonardo from here on out.

"How did you and Steve meet?"

I've been wondering for so long and I never had the chance to ask Steve because I was never curious. But boy am I curious now.

Leonardo looks amused. "They moved in next door to us when I was fourteen and he was ten. He was really dorky and unnaturally smart. The night they moved in, his mom sent him over with a casserole.

When I answered the door, he rambled on and on about how they saw the American flag on our door and thought they'd bring us a casserole since they heard it was American culture to give one to your neighbors, especially when you've just moved in."

I laugh almost hysterically at the idea of Steve being dorky - let alone smart for that matter, but I don't interrupt.

"And he starts spouting weird facts about America and I don't say anything because I'm entertained by how fast he talks. While he's in the middle of telling me - a complete stranger - how his parents argue so much, they got him disqualified from some math tournament, I suddenly get this Eureka moment.

"I realized just how much of a heart breaker Steve had the potential to be, with that British accent of his, so, I offered him a proposal."

I laugh, shaking my head in amusement. It seems Leonardo has been a businessman all his life. "And what was the deal?"

Leonardo looks so proud of himself. "I offered to make him dress better and act more like me so he could charm all the girls - and in exchange for that, he'd do my homework. Obviously, he agreed to this and somehow I guess we just got closer and closer over the years because we saw each other a lot. At first he was like an annoying little brother I was fond of, but he soon became my best friend. He knows me more than anyone alive."

I don't know how I expected them to have met, but this honestly isn't it. It's such a heart warming story in a way.

I playfully shove Leonardo, something I'd have never done a few days ago. "So basically, you broke Steve? He barely knows what one-plus-one is!"

He rolls his eyes. "Yeah, right. It's all an act. Ever seen his grades?"

I laugh. "You have a point."

So Leonardo and I sit and talk for a bit before deciding we need to get out of the cold.

As we drive to a cafe because we're in dire need of hot cocoa - a cappuccino in Leonardo's case - because we're literally freezing, we exchange funny stories about Steve and he tells me about how Lauren used to not like him because she thought he was a snob - to which I tell him he really is.

At some point, I decide to check my phone.

I have four missed calls from Kai.

I send him a quick text to tell him I'll call as soon as I'm home and I'm nervous. I'm nervous because I don't know what's it's like to date the love of your life while you're engaged.