Hate, actually

Chapter 4

I shift my weight on the couch, trying to concentrate on a new show I recently started watching, but my mind is all over the place.

The house would've been eerily quiet if it weren't for the tv blaring loudly and I'm bored out of my mind.

It's late in the afternoon and I've just come back from Romano & Co. I signed the contract and surprisingly had nothing to add to it.

I can't decide if the latter is because I'm nineteen and naturally doused in folly or if I'm simply not a picky person.

Mr Romano and I exchanged details (phone numbers, email addresses etc) and he insisted that we followed each other on every social media we were on.

He also told me that I have to quit my job because apparently his future wife cannot be caught dead working in a 'filthy' restaurant. I'd scoffed at his arrogance and the strong scent of self importance he so proudly carries around.

I quit my job anyway, much to Jason's dismay. It's part of the contract, so I don't have much say on that. I couldn't give Jason a reason as to why I was quitting but he wished me the best anyway and payed me a little more than he was supposed to as a 'good luck present'.

I was sad to leave but it had to be done. I caught Olivia looking at me curiously but she knows she no place to ask me about my personal life; and boy, was I was I glad to be parting ways with her.

It's crazy to me that from here onwards my life will completely change, and I am to be introduced as Mr Romano's girlfriend.

Pablo has cooked up a story for us to tell the media.

Since Mr Romano's love life has always been curiously closely speculated because of how private he is about it, we are supposed to go on a 'secret' date and get 'caught' being affectionate by the paparazzi - then Mr Romano will 'confess' during a press conference that we've been together for a year, and we hadn't wanted the public to know just yet. The engagement won't seem so suspicious then.

The story seems believable enough.

Just as I'm about to head out for some fresh air, my phone rings.

It's Lauren, my best friend.

"Sadie," she chokes out.

I furrow my eyebrows. I can sense something is wrong immediately.

"Lauren, what's up?"

"Can you come over? I need a friend and I have so much I need to tell you," she breathes out shakily, trying to sound as normal as possible.

It sounds like she is recovering from a panick attack.

"No problem, I'll be there in a sec," I tell her, getting up from the couch.

I hear the shrill cry of a baby in the background.

What in the world is going on?

"Dear heavens..." she mumbles more to herself. "Sadie, please bring an overnight bag. It'll probably take the rest of the day for me to try and explain myself and I could really use some company."

"Sure, no problem. I'll see you in a bit," I say, and the baby starts crying again before the line goes dead.

This should be interesting.

I rush off to my room and shove a couple of random items into a duffel bag.

I sling it over my shoulder, slip on some Vans and head out. Luckily it's not that hard for me to catch a taxi.

I reach Lauren's place in a matter of about ten minutes. I'm hoping she hasn't gone off her rocker in the duration of my journey.

I pay the taxi driver before heading to the front of the house. There's a retina scan that allows me access into her place at any time.

The large, black gates open and I walk in, not giving them a chance to close on me. It's a frosty evening and I dig half my face into my scarf, trying to keep warm.

I grab a key that is buried in a nearby potplant and I unlock the front door.

Lauren and her boyfriend, Steve, moved in together right after our graduation. They both come from pretty wealthy households so it was easy for them to just buy a nice, newly furnished place. I was slightly envious but at the same time, I had other things to worry about at the time.

Lauren and Steve both have no siblings so they pretty much were eachother's constant company (other than Steve's childhood best friend, Lee - who is also Lauren's cousin. Steve is also pretty close with our other best friend Kai, and I). 

Lee is a couple of years older than us, and despite being American, he grew up in London and met Steve there. When Lee came back to the US, Steve's family followed by some lucky coincidence.

Since Lee had already graduated highschool, he didn't come to RPD (our school) with Steve. Steve mostly hung out with Lauren, Kai, and I after he asked Lauren out one valentine's day.

I mean, sure he had made other friends but they mostly only got together at parties and he despised sitting at the obnoxiously loud football table.

I cringe remembering how girls used to obsess over Lee and fantasize about all the things they'd do to him. Funnily enough, I'm still to meet him.

Despite being cousins, Lauren and Lee's families were never close, which is probably why I've never met him. Lee and Lauren get along pretty well, though.

I step into the huge foyer.

"Lauren!" I call out.

I can faintly hear the wailing of a baby and I'm very curious at this point.

I hear shuffling upstairs as I set my bag down in the living room.

Lauren appears from the staircase and I immediately rush to her. She wordlessly falls into my arms and starts sobbing.

"Whatever it is, you'll be okay," I soothe, rubbing circles on her back comfortingly.

She steps back and laughs humorlessly. "I've really f****d up this time, Sadie. My life is at a huge standstill."

Her eyes are puffy and swollen from crying. Whatever it is seems to be serious.

"How about I make you some hot chocolate before you explain everything to me? It always makes you feel better," I suggest.

She shrugs lifelessly. "Sure, thanks Sadie. Kai is coming over too and he might also appreciate some. I'll just go get Kira upstairs."

I'm about to ask who Kira is, but Lauren's already retreating to the stairs so I decide to just wait and see.

I make my way to the vast kitchen and I quickly wash my hands with disinfectant (I'm pretty big on hygiene). I frequent Lauren's house so much that I know exactly where everything is.

I bring out three mugs and get started on the hot chocolate. I make sure to add mini marshmallows and whipped cream in it - just the way we all like it.

Right when I'm wondering if I should make some for whoever 'Kira' is as well, Lauren enters the kitchen holding the chubbiest little baby in her arms. The baby is gurgling as she sucks on one of her fingers.

I nearly drop the sugar basin because of how adorable she is. Lauren smiles knowingly - she is aware of my obsession with babies - chubby babies to be exact.

I walk to her, unable to contain my excitement.

"And who are you, little lady?" I coo, as I tickle her tummy slightly with one finger.

She wiggles in Lauren's arms, letting out the most precious giggle.

She has big, bright blue eyes that are identical to Lauren's and dirty-blonde curls gracing her little head. I'm guessing she's a relative or something, since Lauren has no siblings that I know of.

"Can I hold her?" I ask, already reaching for her chubby little form.

"Of course," Lauren smiles fondly, lifting her into my arms.

"This is Kira," she rubs the back of her head nervously. "I'll explain everything in a minute when Kai is here so I don't have to have to explain things twice."

I nod understandingly, anxiousness pooling in my stomach.

As if on cue, the sound of the front door opening echoes throughout the place.

"I'm here!" We hear Kai's deep voice and his footsteps get closer and closer to us.

He appeares in the kitchen with a huge smile, totally unaware of the serious atmosphere. Lauren must've texted him to come over instead of calling - otherwise he'd be looking as panicked as I did because of her tone of voice.

Kai became friends with Lauren and I in the seventh grade. We've been close ever since then.

Kai is your classic Jock. He was a quarterback on the football team, he had mounds and mounds of friends, girls were all over him like a b****y rash, etcetera.

The only non-clichè thing about him is that he's an aromantic asexual. He told us in Junior year but I've always sort of doubted it because of the amount of girls he was involved with before that. My theory is that he just hasn't found the one yet and is put off from dating because of sleeping with random girls he only found physically and not intellectually attractive.

It's just another one of his phases, I concluded. But I can never be too sure, especially when I haven't seen him in what feels like forever.

Kai takes in our tense expressions and his smile wavers.

He walks over to us and furrows his dark eyebrows. "What's up?"

If Kai weren't an aromantic asexual, both Lauren and I would have probably tried to jump his bones long ago.

He is dramatically attractive with his jet black hair and forest-green eyes - which is a rare commodity in my opinion. He has the build of an actual model - probably the reason why his parents coerced him into doing freelance modelling. He's actually been featured in some of the most popular fashion and fitness magazines.

I shrug, bouncing Kira in my arms. "Lauren has something to tell us."

Lauren nods in confirmation and beckons us in the direction of the living room.

We all sit down on the plush couches. Kai sits down next to Lauren who sits down Indian style with a resigned sigh, and I sit on the love seat opposite them with Kira who is as giddy as ever. She is definitely a people's person.

"So..." Lauren starts, not seeming to be able to make eye contact with us. "Do you guys remember the trip Steve and I took across Europe?"

Kai and I nod for her to continue.

"Well," Her voice sounds thick with emotion now. "I kinda got knocked up a while before graduation. I was fortunate enough to be the type of person who doesn't really get big quickly but when I couldn't hide the bump anymore, Steve and I decided to go and clear our minds in Europe and have Kira in secret. I gave birth to her in Paris six months ago."

She says the last part barely above a whisper.

My mouth hangs open and Kai blinks like he can't register what Lauren said.

I look down at Kira.

No wonder she and Lauren's eyes are identical...

"But why didn't you tell us?" Kai and I speak simultaneously.

I feel all kinds of hurt but I can't pretend like I hadn't waited ages to tell her about my mom's condition.

Lauren sighs, not being able to meet our gazes for more than a couple of seconds.

"It's just...you guys had your lives so put together and I remember us always talking about the future and what we'd make of it...and now I just got knocked up and I've disappointed everyone and myself. I mean Kai you were getting piles of modelling agencies pining after you...and Sadie you were already in your second year of college while I was at home with Kira."

"So you haven't been going to college?" My eyes widen in shock.

She always avoids the topic of college and when I asked hrr why, she said it's because she wasn't 'coping'.

She shrugs sheepishly. "Yeah. And I insisted my parents transferred my college funds into my bank account so I could pay for college myself - and I kind of used the money on Kira's clothes, food and so on. I'm in the deepest s**t, guys."

"So you're telling me your parents have no idea?" Kai says barely above a whisper.

The shock on his face probably matches mine.

Lauren breathes out a shaky sigh. "They think I got rid of the baby. We agreed on that but I couldn't bring myself to do it. Since I'm back in New York now, they're surely gonna come and visit me and I have no idea how I'm going to go about this."

I'm not worried about Lauren's mom's reaction. I'm worried about her dad's.

Her dad was an abusive heavy drinker when we were growing up and I wasn't allowed to go to her house because of that. It's known all over NY, since he's one of the most powerful businessmen.

I'm surprised his track record didn't stop the clients from piling in.

Things haven't always been rosy for Lauren. Her dad got better over the years and he barely ever lays a hand on her or her mom anymore, but it's things like this that makes him lose his cool.

"Oh Lauren," I breathe. "Why didn't you at least tell me when I told you that I dropped out of college?"

Kai's head snaps to me. "You dropped out of college?!"

I nod timidly.

He runs a hand through his dark hair and mumbles, "You two are going to be the reason I have a stroke at the age of nineteen."

Lauren suppresses a laugh despite the serious situation and turns to me. "I was going to tell you that day but then you mentioned your mom's condition and I couldn't bring myself to worry you any further. I know how you get."

Kai's eyes widen and he turns to me again. "Wait. Pause. Your mom's condition?"

Oh s**t.

I pick on the loose threads on my jeans. "She was re-diagnosed with lung cancer. Stage four and it's spread now."

"And you didn't think of confiding in me?" I can hear the hurt lacing his tone.

I wince.

"If it makes you feel any better, she took two months to tell me after the re-diagnosis." Lauren shrugs.

Kai sits back and he lets out an exasperated sigh. "Since the day of reckoning has come upon us and we're confessing all our sins, I might as well tell you guys that I'm secretly engaged - but I'm chickening out."

"Engaged?" Lauren and I exclaim.

Kira, who had since fallen asleep in my arms twitches because of the noise.

He shruggs. "Yeah...a couple months ago I met this other model, we got to talking and instantly hit it off. She's a psychopath though but I think I'm in love..."

"In love?!" Lauren and I chorus.

Kai laughs at our reactions. "Yeah... I figured I wasn't actually an aromantic asexual a while back - not that I kind of haven't always known really. It's a good thing this is a sleepover so we can," he pauses to make air quotations, "spill all the tea."

Kai loves imitating James Charles and it always makes Lauren and I c***k up - which we immediately do.

Kai shakes his head fondly with a smile. "Does anyone else have a bomb they want to drop so I stop holding my breath?"

I think for a moment. I remember the situation with Mr Romano and I'm conflicted on whether or not I should mention the agreement we had or just let them know what the general public is going to know.

"I have a boyfriend," I blurt.

There's no turning back now.

Silence.

Kai's mouth hangs slightly open and Lauren shakes her head in disbelief. I've been single and - for the most part - disinterested the majority of my life, so their reactions are really justified.

Lauren squeals. "What's his name? Do we know him?"

I shake my head and laugh nervously. "His name is Leonardo and no - I doubt you guys know him."

"I know almost everyone in New York. What's his last name?" Kai says, and he sits up interested.

Lauren takes a sip of her hot chocolate, her eyes never leaving me.

"Romano." I shrug, knowing that they'll  recognise that name for sure. "His name is Leonardo Romano."

Lauren drops her mug onto the beautifully tiled floor.

I give her a 'did you really have to do that?' look.

"Leonardo Romano as in Steve's billionaire best friend and Lauren's cousin?" Kai whispers.

"Wait, what?" I ask, positively bewildered.

What the everliving f**k?

Lauren closes her eyes with a resigned look on her face, like I'm the stupidest person in the world.

Kai unlocks his phone, scrolls for a couple of seconds and turns it to show me a picture. "That him?"

I squint to see the picture properly before I nod.

Lauren shakes her head. "Kai I'm pretty sure this is one of her pranks. Check if he follows her on i********: or something. He only follows like thirty people."

Kai eyes me sceptically before typing something into his phone.

His eyes widen even more, if possible. I'm thankful for the small piece of evidence. If I were them I wouldn't have believed me either.

Kai nods in Lauren's direction confirming it. He looks like he is currently unable to formulate words and I am somehow offended by this.

"Sadie!" Lauren shrieks. "What the fuck...how did- why didn't you tell- dear heavens... wow!"

I'm surprised Kira doesn't jolt awake from all the ruckus.

Kai is just looking at me dumbfounded.

He finally speaks up. "Before I interrogate the f**k out of you, I just thought you'd like to know that my little sister has miscellaneous pictures of your boyfriend on her phone and - I kid you not - she is going to kill you."

I suppress a giggle and Lauren full-on laughs like she hadn't just been bawling her eyes out earlier.

As if she reads my mind, she speaks, "I knew inviting you guys over would definitely cheer me up. I can't f*****g live without you two."

We spend the rest of the night 'spilling the tea', exchanging advice and reflecting on all the bombs we just dropped on eachother. I genuinely can't imagine life without my friends.

Steve is back from the grocery store and he's so psyched to see us that he drops all the bags he was holding so he can run to us for a group hug. He's always been such an effervescent individual.

As we're all sprawled out on the California King guestroom bed, my phone pings with a message.

Whenever Kai and I sleep over, we all (Lauren, Kai, Steve and I) sleep in the guestroom where the bed is huge enough for us to fit, specially bought for our little sleepovers.

It's the greatest thing ever especially when we have a lot to catch up on. Kira's little cot has been temporarily moved next to the bed so we have to be a little hushed while she sleeps.

I unlock my phone. It's a message from Mr Romano.

I still can't believe he's the mystery 'Lee'. It's an absolute mind-f**k.

He resaved his number in my phone from 'Mr Romano' to 'Leo' claiming that people will just look at me funny because "nobody in their right mind would save their boyfriend's name so formally".

Leo: i'm coming to pick you up from your place tomorrow at 7 for the 'date'. send me your address and wear something nice.

Text language is below him, of course. I'm surprised to find though, that he isn't crazy about capitalization.

I roll my eyes when everyone in the room asks whether I'm texting Leonardo. That's all they seem to talk about now.

Steve can't for the life of him believe that his best friend is actually dating someone and not 'recklessly hooking up with the nearest model' anymore as of late.

I guess the latter is a nice little coincidence. It's makes the story more believable and even though I hate lying to my friends, I know they'd understand my reasons.

I can't help but wonder if Mr Romano is going to tell Steve the truth - even though the contract clearly states that neither of us can tell a soul and that we are to act like a couple in front of everyone - friends and family included.

I would have at least told my mom but I really want to see her happy.

Life is going to be pretty interesting from here on.