The white-golden wolf

Coffee and Questions - Part one

The next day passed more slowly than any day had a right to.

Every time I glanced at the clock, the hands seemed determined not to move.

10:17.

I answered six emails.

Checked again.

10:23.

"This clock is broken."

Clarissa yawned inside my mind.

"The clock is fine."

"Six minutes?"

"That's generally what comes after 10:17."

"Thank you for explaining time."

"You're welcome."

I stared at the report on my screen.

Three paragraphs.

I'd read them twice.

I remembered none of them.

Clarissa stretched lazily.

"You're nervous."

"I'm not."

"You changed outfits three times this morning."

"I was deciding what looked professional."

"You were deciding what would impress Kael."

"I was going to work."

"And then seeing Kael."

"For coffee."

"While wearing the green blouse."

I looked down at myself.

There was absolutely nothing unusual about the blouse.

It was dark green.

Simple.

Fitted without being inappropriate.

Professional enough for work.

Nice enough for coffee afterwards.

Which had been exactly the point.

I frowned.

"I hate that you're right."

Clarissa laughed, warm and playful inside my mind.

"It's one of my better qualities."

"Being annoying?"

"Being right."

"Debatable."

My eyes drifted towards the clock again.

10:25.

I groaned.

Today was going to be unbearable.

Sarah noticed the moment I walked into the office that morning.

She'd looked up from her computer.

Paused.

Then leaned slowly back in her chair.

"Well."

I'd stopped.

"What?"

Her eyes travelled from my shoes to my hair.

"You look nice."

"I always look nice."

"You do."

She smiled knowingly.

"But today you made an effort."

"I did not."

"Lara."

"What?"

"You curled your hair."

My hand instinctively touched one of the loose waves falling over my shoulder.

"I..."

Sarah folded her arms.

"Aha."

"That proves nothing."

"It proves you voluntarily woke up early enough to do something with your hair."

"I always wake up early."

"Yes, and normally you put it in a ponytail and declare war on anyone who speaks to you before coffee."

Clarissa laughed.

"She's observant."

"Unfortunately."

Sarah's grin widened.

"So..."

I already knew what was coming.

"No."

"Coffee with the mysterious Alpha?"

"It's just coffee."

"Of course."

"It is."

"Two people who are clearly attracted to each other meeting alone after work at a quiet riverside café."

She tapped one finger against her chin.

"Definitely sounds like a business meeting."

Heat crept into my cheeks.

"We are not clearly attracted to each other."

Sarah stared at me.

I stared back.

She continued staring.

"Fine."

Her expression became triumphant.

Clarissa practically applauded.

"Coward."

"Quiet."

Sarah leaned closer.

"Do you like him?"

That should have been an easy question.

Instead, I hesitated.

Did I?

I barely knew Kael.

But I liked the way he listened.

The way he didn't push when I said no.

The way he'd knelt on a dirty parking-garage floor to help a stranger without hesitation.

The way he'd looked at that photograph of me as though the words written on the back were a personal threat.

And yesterday—

Because whether fate chose this bond or not, helping you is still my choice.

I looked down at my keyboard.

"I think I might."

Sarah's teasing expression softened.

"Then maybe 'just coffee' isn't such a bad thing."

I smiled.

"Maybe."

She turned back towards her computer.

Then immediately looked at me again.

"What are you wearing tonight?"

"This."

"Good."

"Why?"

"The green works."

I stared at her.

Clarissa hummed smugly.

"I told you."

I decided I hated both of them.

By lunchtime, however, my excitement had begun to compete with something heavier.

The photograph.

I couldn't stop thinking about it.

Me at seventeen.

Smoke behind me.

Blood on my clothes.

Terror written across my face.

SHE SHOULD HAVE DIED.

I'd remembered more yesterday than I had in years.

Not enough.

Never enough.

But one sentence had returned.

She cannot leave with the seal.

The seal.

I slipped my fingers beneath my blouse and touched the pendant.

Cold silver.

Was that what they'd meant?

Was this the seal?

I had considered asking Richard.

Then I'd remembered how he'd looked at me during the council meeting.

Like a man carrying a secret.

Mary was doing the same thing.

So was Alpha Celeste.

Apparently half the people around me knew something about my life that I didn't.

The thought made anger stir beneath my confusion.

"Lara."

Clarissa's voice had lost its teasing tone.

"What?"

"We'll find out."

"How?"

"I don't know."

I leaned back in my chair.

"That's becoming our favourite phrase."

"I know."

I looked towards Richard's closed office door.

"Mary promised to tell me something."

"And avoided it."

"Richard knows something."

"Probably."

"Celeste definitely knows something."

"Yes."

"And Kael has a photograph someone took the night my family died."

Clarissa was silent.

I rubbed my forehead.

"This is insane."

"Yes."

"Helpful."

"I could lie."

"No."

"Then yes. It's insane."

Despite everything, the corner of my mouth twitched.

That was Clarissa.

She couldn't solve everything.

But somehow, she made things easier to carry.

At exactly five o'clock, I shut down my computer.

Sarah appeared over the divider separating our desks.

"Go."

I looked at her.

"I am going."

"Good."

"I'm capable of leaving work without supervision."

"Your history suggests otherwise."

I reached for my bag.

She smiled.

"Have fun."

"It's coffee."

"Yes, Lara."

She waved me towards the elevator.

"Go drink your extremely platonic coffee with the devastatingly attractive Alpha."

I pressed the elevator button.

"Goodnight, Sarah."

"Tell me everything tomorrow."

"No."

"Most things?"

"No."

"One thing?"

The doors opened.

I stepped inside.

"Goodnight."

Her laughter followed me until the doors closed.

Kael had chosen a small café overlooking the river.

It sat away from the busiest streets, tucked between an old bookshop and a narrow lane leading towards the waterfront.

Warm light glowed behind large windows.

The rain from yesterday had cleared, leaving the evening cool and crisp.

I stopped outside.

Suddenly, my confidence disappeared.

"This is ridiculous."

"Yes."

"I've faced rogues before."

"Yes."

"I've survived an attack."

Clarissa became quieter.

"Yes."

"And somehow coffee is frightening."

"Because rogues are simpler."

I frowned.

"Explain."

"They want to kill you."

"That's comforting."

"Kael wants to know you."

I stared through the window.

He was already inside.

My stomach fluttered.

Clarissa sounded unbearably pleased with herself.

"See?"

"I preferred the rogues."

"No, you didn't."

"No."

I smiled despite myself.

"No, I didn't."

Then I opened the door.

The smell of roasted coffee beans greeted me immediately.

Soft music played somewhere in the background.

Only a handful of tables were occupied.

And there he was.

Kael sat near the window.

Not in a tailored suit this time.

No Alpha council.

No guards.

No intimidating conference room.

Just dark jeans and a charcoal sweater with the sleeves pushed slightly up his forearms.

Without the formal clothes, he looked younger.

Less like Alpha Nightshade.

More like Kael.

He looked up.

Our eyes met.

His expression changed immediately.

Warmth replaced the thoughtful look he'd been wearing.

He stood.

"I'm glad you came."

Something about those simple words eased the nervousness in my chest.

"So am I."

He pulled out the chair opposite him.

I paused.

"You don't have to do that."

"I know."

That made me pause again.

Clarissa sighed dreamily.

"Oh, Goddess."

"Control yourself."

"I refuse."

I sat.

Kael returned to his chair.

"I wasn't sure what you liked, so I didn't order for you."

"Good."

His eyebrow lifted.

"Good?"

"I have very specific opinions about coffee."

"Should I be concerned?"

"Possibly."

A server approached.

I ordered a cappuccino.

Kael looked amused.

"What?"

"I expected something more complicated."

"Why?"

"You said you had specific opinions."

"I do. Coffee should taste like coffee."

"Controversial."

"I've lost friendships over less."

"I'll keep that in mind."

I smiled.

This was easier than I'd expected.

For the first half hour, neither of us mentioned wolves.

Or pendants.

Or mysterious photographs.

Or people who apparently wanted me dead.

We talked about ordinary things.

Books.

Travel.

Work.

Kael liked history.

That surprised me.

"You voluntarily read history books?"

He looked offended.

"Yes."

"For enjoyment?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because the past explains why people make the mistakes they're currently making."

I considered that.

"That's annoyingly reasonable."

"I try."

"What else?"

"What else what?"

"What do you read when you're not studying everyone's mistakes?"

"Biographies."

I stared at him.

He laughed.

"What?"

"You really are an Alpha."

"What were you expecting?"

"I don't know. Thrillers? War stories?"

"I read those too."

"Better."

"And you?"

"Everything."

"That's vague."

"It depends on my mood."

"Favourite?"

I hesitated.

"Fantasy."

Kael's eyebrow rose.

"Fantasy?"

"Don't."

"I'm not judging."

"You are."

"I'm wondering why someone who can turn into a wolf enjoys reading about imaginary magical creatures."

I pointed at him.

"Exactly why I didn't want to tell you."

He laughed.

The sound surprised me.

Not because I'd never heard him laugh.

Because it was completely unguarded.

Deep.

Warm.

Clarissa immediately spoke.

"I like that sound."

I hid my smile behind my cup.

Kael noticed anyway.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"You thought of something funny."

"My wolf has opinions."

His expression shifted into immediate understanding.

"I know the feeling."

"Does yours talk constantly?"

"Not constantly."

"Lucky."

Clarissa gasped.

"I heard that."

"That was the point."

Kael watched me for a moment.

"What's her name?"

I blinked.

"Who?"

"Your wolf."

The question felt strangely intimate.

Most wolves didn't ask unless they knew each other well.

Maybe because a wolf's name belonged to the private part of us.

The part humans never saw.

"Clarissa."

His expression softened.

"Clarissa."

Inside me, she went completely still.

Then—

"He said my name."

I nearly rolled my eyes.

"Yes."

"I like how he says it."

"Of course you do."

Kael's gaze sharpened slightly.

"She's talking now, isn't she?"

"Unfortunately."

"What did she say?"

"Absolutely not."

He smiled.

"That bad?"

"Worse."

Clarissa was outraged.

"Traitor."

I took another sip of coffee.

"What about yours?"

Kael's smile faded slightly.

"Ronan."

The name suited him somehow.

Strong.

Old.

"Does Ronan know about..."

I stopped.

Kael understood anyway.

"The bond?"

I nodded.

"He knew before I did."

Clarissa immediately became smug.

"See?"

I ignored her.

"What was his reaction?"

Kael looked into his coffee.

"He told me to stop walking."

I laughed.

"Seriously?"

"I was stepping out of the elevator."

"You actually stopped?"

"No."

"Why?"

"I was surrounded by people."

"Alpha dignity?"

"Exactly."

I laughed again.

For the first time in days, I felt light.

Not pretending to be fine.

Actually fine.

Even if only for a little while.

Eventually, twilight settled beyond the windows.

The river turned dark blue beneath the evening sky.

Lights along the waterfront flickered on one by one.

Our conversation slowed.

Not awkwardly.

Comfortably.

Kael looked towards the river.

Then back at me.

"Can I ask you something?"

My body tensed automatically.

He noticed.

"You can say no."

That helped.

"Okay."

His eyes dropped briefly towards my collar.

"You wear the pendant every day."

My fingers instinctively found the silver crescent beneath my blouse.

"Yes."

"Yesterday you said you'd seen something similar."

I looked down.

Here it was.

The part I'd known was coming.

"I wasn't lying."

"I know."

"It belonged to my mother."

Kael remained silent.

Waiting.

Not pushing.

"It's the only thing I have left from my parents."

His expression softened.

"I'm sorry."

No pity.

No uncomfortable sympathy.

Just sincerity.

For some reason, that made answering easier.

"They died five years ago."

Kael's jaw tightened almost imperceptibly.

"The photograph."

I nodded.

"I think it was taken that night."

"You think?"

"My memories are..."

I searched for the right word.

"Broken."

Kael didn't interrupt.

"Some things are clear. My father's voice. Fire. Running through the forest."

My fingers tightened around the pendant.

"Other things are just gone."

"Do you know why?"

"No."

A lie?

I wasn't sure anymore.

Maybe my mind had buried the memories deliberately.

Maybe someone had done something to me.

I hated that the second possibility no longer sounded impossible.

"But I remember they loved me," I said quietly.

Kael's expression changed.

Something sad entered his eyes.

"Sometimes that's the part that matters most."

I looked at him.

"You lost someone."

It wasn't really a question.

He was quiet for a moment.

"Several people."

"Family?"

"My father."

"I'm sorry."

He nodded once.

"He was a difficult man."

That wasn't what I'd expected.

Kael gave a humourless smile.

"Everyone expects me to say he was perfect because he's dead."

"You don't have to."

"No."

He looked out at the river.

"He loved his pack. He loved me in his way. But leadership consumed most of him."

There was an old wound beneath the words.

"Did you become Alpha after he died?"

"Not exactly."

Something in his tone told me there was more to that story.

I didn't push.

Maybe he noticed.

Because he looked at me again.

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"Not asking."

I smiled faintly.

"I know what it's like when people want answers you aren't ready to give."

Understanding passed between us.

Quiet.

Unexpected.

Real.

For several moments, neither of us spoke.

Sometimes silence said more than conversation ever could.

Then Kael leaned back slightly.

"I meant what I said yesterday."

"About?"

"Helping you."

The warmth of the evening faded just a little.

"Kael—"

"I'm not asking you to trust me immediately."

"Good."

One corner of his mouth lifted.

"That would be unreasonable."

"Very."

"But the photograph changed things."

I looked down.

"I know."

"Whoever sent it knew where I was staying. They knew we'd met. And they knew enough about your past to have an image taken five years ago."

A chill ran through me.

"I've been thinking about that too."

"My people are investigating."

I looked up sharply.

"You told them about me?"

"No."

The answer came immediately.

"Only Elias and Finn know the photograph concerns you."

Relief loosened my chest.

"I won't share your past without your permission unless your immediate safety requires it."

I studied him.

"You really mean that."

"Yes."

Clarissa was quiet.

Then—

"Trust him."

I didn't answer her.

Not because I disagreed.

Because trusting someone frightened me far more than I'd realised.

I looked at Kael.

"I don't know what's happening."

"I know."

"I don't know what the pendant means."

"I know."

"I don't know who that wolf was."

His expression hardened slightly.

That one he did know something about.

I noticed.

But before I could ask, he said quietly—

"You don't have to solve everything tonight."

Something about the words made my throat tighten.

For five years, I'd survived by believing I had to handle everything myself.

Maybe I didn't.

Not everything.

Not anymore