UNCONTROLLABLE TEARS

CHAPTER 16 The Secret Between Us

I stayed in my room for a long time after Elizabeth and Suzita left me alone.

I didn't do anything.

I didn't read.

I didn't sleep.

I just sat there quietly, staring at the floor.

My body hurt.

Every part of me seemed to hurt.

My arms.

My back.

My legs.

Even moving slightly made the pain remind me of what had happened.

I pulled my knees closer to my chest and rested my head against the wall.

My mind kept going back to the same questions.

Why was my life like this?

Why couldn't I have a normal family?

Why couldn't I have a mother who was still alive?

Why couldn't I have a father who understood me?

I thought about the little girl I used to be.

The girl who believed her father could protect her from anything.

The girl who used to run into his arms whenever she was scared.

I missed her.

I missed the life I thought I would have.

Sometimes I wondered if my life had been meant to be this miserable from the beginning.

Maybe happiness was simply something other people were allowed to have.

I looked around my small room.

It was quiet.

Too quiet.

I slowly stood up.

My legs felt weak, but I managed to walk toward the mirror.

When I reached it, I stopped.

I was wearing a simple spaghetti-strap top.

My arms and shoulders were uncovered.

I stared at my reflection.

For a few seconds, I didn't recognize myself.

Then I looked closer.

There were bruises on my arms.

Some were darker than others.

There were marks along my shoulders and back too.

I slowly turned to look at the bruises I could see.

My eyes filled with tears.

I touched one of them gently.

Pain shot through my skin.

I quickly pulled my hand away.

It hurt.

It hurt so much.

I stared at myself again.

I looked small.

Fragile.

Like someone who could easily be broken.

A tear rolled down my cheek.

I wiped it away quickly.

I didn't want to cry again.

I had already cried enough.

Then I remembered Elizabeth's warning.

Don't tell your father.

My stomach tightened.

Dad couldn't see the bruises.

He couldn't ask questions.

He couldn't find out what happened.

Because if he did, I didn't know what Elizabeth would do.

I quickly walked to my bag and opened it.

I searched through my clothes until I found a long-sleeved top.

I put it on carefully.

The sleeves covered my arms completely.

I pulled the fabric down over my wrists and checked myself in the mirror again.

Nothing was showing.

At least, I hoped nothing was showing.

I took a deep breath.

I had to act normal.

I had to pretend everything was fine.

---

Later that evening, I was sitting quietly on the couch in the sitting room.

Suzita was there too.

She was sitting comfortably, looking at something on her phone.

I kept my arms close to my body.

Every movement still hurt.

I heard the sound of a car entering the compound.

My heart immediately began beating faster.

Dad was home.

A few moments later, the front door opened.

Dad stepped into the house, carrying his briefcase.

Before I could even stand, Suzita jumped up from the couch.

"Dad!"

She quickly ran toward him and wrapped her arms around him.

Dad smiled.

"Hey, Suzita."

"I missed you."

"I missed you too."

She pulled away and immediately reached for his briefcase.

"Give it to me."

Dad smiled and handed it to her.

"Careful."

"I've got it."

"Welcome home, Dad."

"Thank you, sweetheart."

Suzita carried the briefcase toward his room.

I watched them quietly.

That was how a daughter greeted her father.

Without fear.

Without hesitation.

Without wondering whether she was allowed to hug him.

I swallowed.

A few seconds later, Elizabeth came out of the kitchen.

She was wearing an apron over her clothes, and there was a little flour on one side of it.

She smiled when she saw Edward.

"You're home."

Edward smiled.

"Yes."

Elizabeth walked toward him and wrapped her arms around him.

"How was work?"

"Tiring."

"I've already started preparing dinner."

She pulled away and looked at him.

"You should go and freshen up. I'll finish everything."

Edward nodded.

"Alright."

Then his eyes moved toward me.

"Maya."

I quickly stood up.

"Welcome home, Dad."

I walked toward him.

I wanted to hug him.

I really did.

But when I wrapped my arms around him, I couldn't hold him tightly.

The bruises on my arms and back hurt too much.

So I only hugged him lightly.

Very lightly.

Then I pulled away.

Dad looked at me.

For a moment, his expression changed.

"Are you okay?"

I nodded quickly.

"Yes."

He studied my face.

"You seem quiet."

"I'm just tired."

Elizabeth smiled from beside him.

"She's probably had a long day."

Edward looked at Elizabeth briefly, then back at me.

"Did you eat?"

"Yes."

"Are you sure?"

I nodded.

"Yes, Dad."

He reached out and gently touched my shoulder.

I almost flinched.

I forced myself to stay still.

Dad noticed the hesitation.

His eyebrows pulled together slightly.

"Maya?"

"I'm fine."

He looked at me for another second.

"Alright."

Elizabeth smiled.

"Edward, you should go and change. Dinner will be ready soon."

He nodded.

"Okay."

He started walking away.

Then he stopped and looked back at me.

"If you need anything, tell me."

I forced a smile.

"Okay, Dad."

He went upstairs.

I watched him disappear.

Only after he was gone did I let out the breath I had been holding.

Elizabeth looked at me.

Her smile slowly disappeared.

She didn't say anything.

She didn't need to.

The look in her eyes was enough.

"Don't say anything"

I lowered my eyes.

---

Dinner was quiet.

Dad sat at the head of the table.

Elizabeth sat beside him.

Suzita sat across from me.

I barely touched my food.

My body still hurt, and I didn't feel like eating.

Dad noticed.

"Maya, you're barely eating."

"I'm not very hungry."

"You need to eat."

I nodded and forced myself to take another bite.

Elizabeth glanced at me.

"She's probably just tired."

Dad looked at her.

"Maybe."

He didn't sound completely convinced.

During dinner, Suzita talked about her day.

She told Dad that her vacation was almost over and that she would be resuming school soon. Then she talked about some funny things that had happened at school, and he laughed.

She smiled proudly.

I watched them quietly.

There was nothing wrong with Suzita loving her father.

I knew that.

But sometimes watching them together reminded me of how different everything had become.

After dinner, I stood up slowly.

"I'll help clear the table."

Elizabeth looked at me.

"Alright."

I began collecting the plates.

As I reached for one of them, pain shot through my arm.

I paused for a second.

Elizabeth noticed.

She smiled faintly.

"Careful."

I nodded.

I continued.

When Dad finished eating, he went into the sitting room.

Elizabeth stayed in the kitchen.

I carried the last plate toward her.

As I passed her, she spoke quietly.

"You're doing well."

I stopped.

I looked at her.

She smiled.

"Keeping quiet."

My stomach tightened.

I lowered my eyes.

"That's what I expect."

I nodded.

"I won't tell him."

"Good girl."

She turned back toward the dishes.

I walked away.

---

The next morning, I woke up early.

My body still ached, but I got out of bed.

I went downstairs.

Elizabeth was already in the kitchen.

She looked at me.

"You're awake."

"Yes."

She pointed toward the laundry basket.

"Take those clothes outside."

I picked up the basket.

"After that, clean Suzita's room."

I nodded.

"Okay."

I carried the clothes outside and began hanging them.

The morning air felt cool against my face.

For a few minutes, I was alone.

I looked down at my sleeves.

Everything was covered.

No one could see.

That was what mattered.

When I finished hanging the clothes, I carried the empty basket back inside.

As I walked down the hallway, I saw Suzita.

She looked at me and smiled.

"Mom told you to clean my room?"

"Yes."

She nodded.

"Good."

I looked at her.

She smiled again.

Then she tilted her head.

"You look funny when you're scared."

My heart dropped.

I said nothing.

Suzita laughed.

"You should have seen yourself yesterday."

I looked around nervously.

"Don't worry."

She stepped closer.

"I won't tell Dad either."

"I didn't ask you to."

She laughed again before walking away.

I stood there.

Suzita knew exactly what had happened.

She knew I was afraid.

And she enjoyed knowing that.

---

That afternoon, Dad came home earlier than usual.

I was sitting in the living room, folding clothes.

I heard the gate open.

A few minutes later, Dad walked through the front door.

He looked surprised to see me there.

"Maya."

I looked up.

"Hi, Dad."

He put his briefcase down.

"You're busy."

I nodded.

"Just folding clothes."

He walked closer.

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm okay."

He studied me.

"How are you really feeling?"

I looked down at the clothes in my hands.

"I'm just tired."

Dad sat down beside me.

"You don't have to pretend to be cheerful all the time."

I looked at him.

"I'm not pretending."

He smiled gently.

"Alright."

He reached for my hand.

I hesitated for a second before giving it to him.

His hand closed around mine.

"I'm glad you're here."

I swallowed.

"Me too."

He gave my hand a gentle squeeze.

For a moment, I wanted to tell him everything.

I wanted to tell him that I was hurting.

That Elizabeth had hurt me.

That Suzita had watched.

That I was scared.

The words were right there.

But I remembered Elizabeth's voice.

You don't want to lose him again, do you?

My throat tightened.

I couldn't say it.

Dad eventually released my hand.

"Finish what you're doing."

I nodded.

"Okay."

He picked up his briefcase and walked away.

I watched him.

I wanted to call him back.

I wanted to tell him the truth.

But I couldn't.

Because I was still afraid.

And sometimes fear doesn't make you forget the truth.

It only makes you hide it.

So I kept folding the clothes.

Hoping one day everything would be alright.