The Lost Wolf

CHAPTER THIRTEEN.

Ping!

    I opened my phone to a text from Tyler and groaned. This is not something I wanted to do right now and definitely not over text. 

Ty: 

What is wrong with you? I barely speak to you all summer. You barely speak to me since I’ve been back. You went home with that other man… twice. 

K:

Sorry, Ty. I’ve had some weird health issues going on. Carter has just been there. 

Ty:

I want to be there, too. 

K:

It wasn’t planned. It just happened. 

Ty:

Let me in, Kenzie. We used to be best friends. 

Ty: 

Let me take you in a date. Just the two of us, like old times. 

K: 

Time and place? 

Ty:

Tonight. Joe’s Bar. I’ll pick you up at 6.

K: 

I will meet you there at 6. 

    I clicked the button and shut off my phone. It wasn’t really the date with Tyler that I craved. It was the conversation. I had let this go on long enough and it needed to end. I had feelings, or something, for Carter and while I didn’t know what they meant, it really was not fair for Tyler to be put in the middle. I almost cheated on him, more than once. It was like I didn’t even control my own body anymore. Carter consumed my every thought and he even invaded my dreams. It was time to break it off and I needed to do this face to face. I owe him that much. I owe him answers. I need to prepare myself, I want to look good but not too good. What will I even say? “I’m sorry Tyler I just don’t like you anymore so I’m throwing two years away for a boy I just met.” No. I can’t say that. Not even close to that. I wanted to be honest but not THAT honest. 

    Step one. Shower. Turning the knob on the shower I stepped in and let the steaming hot water fall over my naked body. Relishing in the way that it felt running over my hair and my curves. Letting it wash away my worries and turning my mind to the one thing that I had become really good thinking about. Becoming a wolf. I wonder what it will feel like, as my birthday inches closer the thought of being able to turn makes me both scared and excited. Carter told me that the first time was excruciating but if it gets rid of this permanent clawing in my head, I’d almost go through anything. I lathered up my hair and washed my body with Tyler’s favorite body wash. Vanilla Rose. I hated this scent but I was hoping that since he likes it, the blow will sting just a little less. I felt so bad for what I was about to do but I also felt kind of free. I rinsed off my body and got out of the shower. 

    Step two. Clothes. I wrapped my hair up in a towel and headed back into my room to rummage through my closet until I found what I was looking for. A yellow sundress drenched in daisies. The top of the dress was form fitting down to just under my breasts and then it had just a slight flair and stopped at my knees, I decided to pair it with some black sandals. Thinking that high heels are probably not a break-up worthy shoe. They are more of a time-to-get-sexy shoe. I walked back into the bathroom and applied my makeup and put some gel in my hair to hold the wave. 5:30. Time to face the music. 

    Joe’s Bar was a bar but also not really a bar. Our town loves to cater to the young people so while Joe’s played music and has greasy bar food, they also sold virgin cocktails to the teens. They even had one of those drinks that let girls tell the bartender when they were in trouble. It had a real bar feel as far as I knew. Granted, I have never been to a real bar. I pulled into the lot at 5:57pm and parked my black Camaro near the front, I could see from where I was that Tyler was standing by the door checking his watch. Taking a deep breath, or three, I got out of the car and walked to the entrance and into Tyler’s arms. 

    “You came,” he sounded relieved as he hugged me and kissed my cheek. 

    “Of course I did,” I said, confused. “I said I would.”

    “Come on. Our table is ready.” He held out his hand for me and I took it. Letting him lead me through the restaurant to our VIP table in the back. Tyler and Taylor’s aunt owned the place, she had told us once that Joe sounds like someone who would own a sleepy bar in the hills and that’s why she chose it’s name. Tyler got in whenever he needed to without notice and we always sat at the same booth. I haven’t been here since before Tyler and Taylor left for Paris over the summer. Tyler slid in the booth and I slid in across from him. A few minutes later a pretty brunette came to take our drink order, stuttering over her words while making eyes at Tyler. Normally, this would make me angry but tonight I’m thinking that this is for the best. Maybe feeling desirable will make me ending things easier on him. 

    I ordered a Pina colada mock up and pretended it was going to be full of alcohol to calm my nerves. I was feeling more and more anxious by the minute. 

    “Ty-“ I started, but he cut me off. 

    “I’m so glad we did this Kenzie.” He reached over the table and took my hands, “I’ve missed you so much. We needed this.” Guilt twisted in my stomach. 

    “Ty. I agreed to come here because I think we need to have a talk.” I took a deep breath to steady myself. “I think-“ it was his turn now to stop me. 

    “Don’t. Please, Kenzie. Just don’t.” 

    “Excuse me?” 

    “You were my first love. My only love. My first for a lot of things. So, please. Just don’t. Let me enjoy you one last time. You can break up with me tomorrow.” I was stunned at the words coming out of his mouth. He was begging me to stay with him and he has been so good and so patient with me. Maybe, just maybe I should give him this one thing? I should give him this one last date. I nodded my head at him as our drinks arrived and he smiled. Slowly slipping on my fake Pina Colada, I wished it did have alcohol in it, now. Stringing him along like this seems wrong but if it’s what he asked for, is it? I decided that I was going to grant him this night but at the end of date I was ending it. No matter what. 

     For awhile it really was like old times. We joked and laughed and reminisced on times passed. I let him drag me out to the dance floor where we let our bodies become one with the music and just let loose. We shared greasy chili cheese fries and had a couple more mock tails. Even though we had fun the tugging in my brain was a constant reminder of how this night would end. And to be honest, this didn’t feel like a date. It felt like two friends hanging out and that thought made me feel better. Maybe nothing had to change at all. At the end of the night when we paid, I was sure to note the phone number written on the receipt. Tyler walked me to my car and kissed my lips. I didn’t feel the same electric current through my body when he touched me and it made me sad. He pulled out of the kiss and looked into my eyes. 

    “Ty.” I started, “the nights over-“

    “I love you!” He blurted. “I know we’ve been together for two years and I’ve never said it Kenzie but I’m saying it now. I love you, okay?” I sat there in stunned silence as he shut my car door and walked away. What. The. f**k.