Elevate

Dubious Thoughts

CARMILLA EVERDEEN’S POV

I scuttled myself in the opaque, cobbled street near the Old Mill. The cold, arid wind brushed, slowly engulfing itself around me. My dark brown cape brushed the surface. I always have liked this one than the others. It was a gift from Dad and it’s not just an ordinary one. It’s one of a kind. Its features were like my strength. It can cloak me whenever I hide myself on it. I needed to bring this with me right now for emergency purposes and I felt like I’ll be dealing with something else.

I raised my head and narrowed my eyes on the moon, giving in its full strength of sustaining light in the darkness. It was captivating and somehow I was drawn by it in one of the corners of the pathways. I tugged my purse and took a fine breath. It’s just another night to wander around the city – no peril, but rather just the sounds of those creatures strolling around like me. Those toads and crickets stayed on the ground and just minding their hunting pace.

Everything seemed so calm right now, until I saw someone standing still with his thick woolen hooded jacket and snugged black pants. His high-heeled, dilapidated shoes continuously tapped the surface as he crossed his arms. I couldn’t see his face clearly as he was staring slightly down as if he’s thinking much deeper. Using my cloak, I progressed to him, doing my best not to make a sound. And, I was able to take my stand beside him. He’s in his late forties and he’s 5’9” tall.

The light from the post on the other side of the road had touched him, making me see his features a bit more. He has a light-skin-toned body and he has brown hair. His thick beard completely surrounded his chin. He seemed not to sense my presence. He kept tapping his shoe as If he’s monitoring the time. I was occupied in watching him intently, when he suddenly made a cough, making me jolted from my point.

I accidentally seized some steps back, cracking those pebbles. I immediately stopped when I noticed it, but I was far too late when I perceived a razor sharped knife staring straight at me just a few inches away from my face. I took a gulp and held it for several seconds. He slowly raised his face and those ferreting, raucous eyes stared at me as if he could clearly see me. I recognized him. He was with those in the Old Mill before. What is he doing here?

“Who are you?” His snappish, gruff voice was also unbearable to hear.

I dint make a sound or even answered his question. Right. I just needed to act that I’m not here.

“You can’t fool me. I know you’re here.” He briskly uttered, as if he’s staring next to his prey. “Tell me who you are, then I would consider in sparing your life.”

He waited for my response, but I still didn’t answer him back. “You think, I’m a joke to you? This knife…” He titled it a bit. “It’s watching you and in any second, I could hit this without thinking twice in your direction.”

His words sent chills down to my spine and it was a full menace to bear. I was left without a choice but to expose myself. His face suddenly flushed when he saw someone who’s out of his expectation. Oh yes, I was wearing a deep red scarf which somehow symbolized of being an Elite, and I thought he knew that. He lowered his defense when he saw that I am a woman. Maybe he was expecting to have a possible fight with a man right now, but even I isn’t in the mood to take a scuffle with him, hoping that he would do that too.

“Speak, lady.” He simply demanded.

“I-I’m just roaming around.” I stuttered. I could wholly feel fear crippling behind my shadows. I knew that it’s not just an ordinary man I am facing with right now. He’s a mad dog - a hunting one.

“Roaming?” He scoffed. “During this time?” His eyes scanned the place and saw that we’re the only ones around. He stared back at me and added, “And why here? Are you planning to take down the leveled ground?” He suddenly pushed the knife on my throat.

Without thinking twice, I made my move and punched his arm, making him flinch of a sudden. He managed to compose himself and flung his fist towards me, but I was able to dodge it. I punched his chest, but he was able to contain the pain. This man had been working out since then. Those broad shoulders and flexed muscles were his results.

“I’m no foe here.” I stated between our strikes.

“Then who are you?” He asked back.

“I’ll tell you when we stop doing this.” I uttered.

“How am I going to trust you?”

He gave in a strike and hit me directly on my right cheek. I felt a tingling sensation just when his fist hit on me. It was getting swollen and I could sense that it was going red. I stumbled a few steps away from him. He kept throwing punches at me. He slashed the side of my right arm, making me winced. I couldn’t take it anymore, so I raised my hand to tell him that I surrendered. D*mnit, I’m in no condition.

He smirked as he felt the triumph embracing him. I caught my breath and tried to relax myself. Wiping off my face covered with my own sweat, I slumped my back on the cold, bricked wall. He stood near to me and didn’t let me get off his sight.

“Tell me, why are you here in the Lowies?”

“I’m here to help you out!” I yelled at him as I felt the frustration.

He was fussed when he heard me say it and started to wonder for such a reason.

“I saw you with the others getting inside Embreal City in the Old Mill. And, I also witnessed how your comrades were killed by Penelope herself. Now, I wonder how you get inside the city again when she locked the passage in several areas.” I said to him.

“You don’t need to know how I did it.” He simply stated without letting loose of his defense.

I sighed. “Okay. You don’t have to tell me how you get in the way here, but I think you need me. I confidently uttered to him.

He lowered his knife and narrowed his sight to me.

“I know you’re wanting to meet the Informant himself to formally visit him again for helping you get out during that time.” I said.

“W-What are you talking about?” He looked on another side and tried to revert the discussion. Obviously, he’s on the way to meet him. Yet, it would be crucial for him to wander around the city in times like this that Penelope had made sure to keep tracking those who entered the place from the outside. Those officers were in their night shifts too.

“You’re going in his lair, aren’t you? I’ve seen you both back then. The man had led you to a secret passage just near the Old Mill too. I heard your conversation back then.” I stated.

“What are you planning to do, lady? It’s not your thing anymore to touch.” He uttered.

“Maybe. Maybe not. Don’t you want to get help with me?” I raised a suggestion to him.

“And what would it benefit you? What will you take in return?” Now, he’s giving a hint of interest.

I crossed my arms and rose myself to gaze at him.”

“I’ll take you to his place. And when you get there, I want you to take the paper that was signed by him. Just tell him that I sent you to take it. His contract is about to end this month.” I told him and kept my hands inside my pockets.

“And why do you think I’ll do it for you?”

“Because it might save your life…maybe, in the near future.”

Dad, surely, was a close colleague to the Informant. Often, I would see him roaming around the Everdeen’s and would talk casually with him. I thought at first that they’re just talking about business, but it was more to that. Dad, if I heard it right that time, had made a threat to the man. I couldn’t hear their conversation so clearly, but the Informant’s face drastically changed into an anxious one.

I just found out recently that he was working for my Dad. He was being paid that much in return for giving such valuable information about anything. I should say that he was better than the Messenger. Dad had mentioned that the man’s contract is about to end. But, he didn’t seem to be bothered at all. Instead, I’ve seen those eyes glittering into awe and his lips were curved into a smile, more like a wide grin. Something is coming to him, that’s what I thought. He said that he will gain something which took him so long to find it.

I was drawn back to reality when the man in front of me cleared his throat. I looked at him with my blank expression. I needed to act straight.

“Who’s your dad, young lady?”

His inquisitiveness was showing off and he couldn’t contain himself anymore.

“Why are you so curious then? It’s not a thing you need to worry about.”

“You said that the Informant got a contract. So, I presumed that he’s working with someone who’s higher than him.” He crossed his arms.

I winced when I accidentally touch my wound on my arm. “Tsh.” He’s a good in combat and he thinks fast – a true hunter’s skills.

I was about to say something when he straightaway grabbed my other arm and pulled me back with him in the corner where the light couldn’t touch us. I was stunned when we’re just a few inches from each other. He promptly told me to hush and after a couple of seconds, we heard some shallow steps forwarding in our direction.

Their shadows have touched the walls as they passed through the lights. I was holding my breath the whole time as we waited for them to leave. They were murmuring something, then came their loud, vigorous sneer – teasing one another. They were in their night shift this time and they were only two. Their black shoes tapped the ground as they oscillated their cudgels on the side.

They were like brothers. I could clearly hear the pounds of my heard and the breathing of him. I should have known that they have also started to roam here. They passed through us. I was about to get some air, when I recognized one of them suddenly stopped his walk and slowly turned himself in our direction. I could feel my soul is about to leave my body. I immediately grabbed my cape and unfolded it. I spread my arms as I held it tight and covered it around us, making sure that we won’t get caught.

“What are you doing?” He whispered to me.

I didn’t answer him back. Instead, I focused myself on listening. I heard the officer took some steps near our spot. I shut my eyes tight, hoping that he would stop in coming here. I suddenly heard his associate called out his name.

“Hey, Lex. What are you doing?” He asked him out.

The man didn’t answer him and now I could hear his steps clearer. He started to take his knife and is ready to aim at any moment, but I slowly shook my head to tell him not to.

“Lex! The commander just called me out. We needed to go back to the base to catch someone. I think the others are on their way there too.”

The steps have stopped and I heard him responded. “Oh, is that so? I thought I have seen something here.” He said.

“Just forget that. Obviously, there’s nothing in there. Let’s go. We don’t want him to scold us again. That man could turn into a fiend all of a sudden.”

I heard them chuckled as they moved away from us. I waited for seconds and when I was sure that they’re gone, I slowly removed the cape around us and took a genuine sigh. Sweat had rushed on my face as I glanced to the man beside me. He sat on the ground.

“What was that?” He asked and eyed on my thing.

“Oh, this?” I raised it in front of him so he could clearly see it. “It’s a cape. I used it when I needed to hide something or maybe someone if it’s necessary.”

“O-Oh.” He seized a long breath and wiped off his face. He peeked over the path where the two men left. “I thought we’re going to be dead.” He whispered. He turned himself and watched me again. “Okay. Let’s have a deal. You’ll help me get there in the Informant’s place and in return, I will get that paper for you. Deal?”

A smile precipitously was plastered on my face. I shook hand and answered, “Deal. Now, I’ll just grab my things then we could go there. But, uh-uh. You’re going to follow my rules. You don’t want to get yourself caught, weren’t you?” I said and grabbed my purse on the ground.

“Yeah. Just make sure you’ll take me there.”

“As you pleased.” I rolled my eyes to him and led the way for us. He was just keeping his pace low beside me and all of a sudden, he decided to remain silent. Good.

___

“So, you’re saying that Mr. Elikai had given this thing to you?” Guilbert asked his Uncle William.

The man intertwined his fingers together and nodded. “Carmilla was able to get me on the track to his house and there, we have talked once. She didn’t come with me that time. Instead, she left me and asked to keep the thing with me up until the day when we’re going to meet again. And now, we’re here together.”

“Why did you want to have this, Carmilla?” Miguel asked.

“It’s because I needed it. My accusations are still vague and I need some evidence.”

“What evidence do you seek?”

“An evidence that would tell me that it was not Penelope who ordered the call to eradicate the Informant…but…my father himself.” Her voice suddenly turned into low. She lowered her face and fiddled her fingers on her lap. She was anxious and somehow the thought of having doubts about her own father made her sick and guilt consumed her.

She wanted to know the truth and it was her drive. The fact that she was seeking for a thing that could hurt her shackled her soul. She’s facing something that could break her relationship with her Father.

“Why do you think of that, Carmilla?” Vixen held her arm and looked at her earnestly.

“Because just before the news went to us that Mr. Elikai had passed away, Jack Rush had visited the Everdeen and was able to get contact with my Dad. I couldn’t get any information about it, but as I watched them from a distance, it seemed that they’re having an agreement. I just don’t know what it was.” She said.

Their aunt, Liech crossed her arms. “That wailed interesting. But, we cannot easily tell that your father has something to do with the late Informant. Let’s say that Mr. Everdeen did meet Rush that time, but we don’t know what happened afterward-”

She wasn’t able to finish her sentence when Carmilla immediately cut her off. “No. The day after tomorrow that time, we already got the news that Mr. Elikai was killed by Penelope’s men. Well, it’s what we think of.”

“The woman in the forest doesn’t seem to know anything about it too, or maybe she’s just covering something else.” William said.

Loshiana gave her a stroke on the shoulder. “Carmilla…what you’re seeking right now will surely put you in danger…”

“Then, what are you trying to imply?” She scoffed. “I thought we wanted the justice for them. Then, why are you not thinking outside the box at least?!” Her voice raised a bit, which they didn’t anticipate from her.

To them, Carmilla was a calm, focused one. She barely got into a fight with someone when it terms to dealing such a situation, but now she’s eager to do things in her own strategies. Perhaps, reality filled with snaps of drenched state and blues had opened her conscience.

“Carmilla…” Cody called out her name.

“I told you from the start that I mean no harm for this group and I am willing to help you out in seeking the truth regarding the deaths of our comrades. We’re sharing the same goal and we’re still wandering…searching for answers. You just need to trust me and if you can’t do that…then try not to get in my way.”

“We also want to know the truth…” Vixen simply stated. “And we don’t need to get into an argument for us to bring one goal this time. We’re still sharing the same one. Perhaps, Carmilla is right about her own father... And that’s a thing we need to secure too. There’s nothing wrong if we put on a little doubt with each other as long as it won’t harm the rest and it will be a benefit.” She added.

“What are we going to do?” Liech asked.

“We’re going to find answers. Why don’t we just go to the second level and ask your father directly?” Vixen proposed.

“No. We can’t do that. He’s going to suspect me if you’re going to ask about the Informant. And…I’m currently in a mission of finding something.” Carmilla promptly said.

“Then, let’s seek for clues that would lead us to an answer. How about that?” She smiled at her.

“And how are we going to start?”

“Let’s start in the forest itself.”

___

The scorched wind entered the room, swaying the curtain with its presence. The least that they could predict, the rain had started to fall, wetting the dry, dusty ground. The door slowly opened, revealing Loshiana holding two cups of tea. She was now wearing her evening gown. Laying a smile as she approached her, she offered the cup to Carmilla. The woman thanked her and she stood beside her. They intently watched the murky, deep grey clouds. She took a fine sip of it and breathed.

They decided to keep her for the night and Loshiana volunteered to share her room with her. It’s been an hour when they ended their conversation, but it was still fresh in their minds. Everyone, even if they don’t say at all, they’re getting anxious of the things that are yet to appear. When the day rise in a few hours from now, they would keep their tracks back to the forest to settle things.

She glanced over her and laid a qualm. “How are you living right now, especially when the past is still here…visible?”

The woman gave her a faint smile. “Hmm.” She looked at the distance and perceived the bush which had just moved. She was expecting someone to appear from behind it. But, the person she was hoping for turned into a stray, grey cat. She breathed a sigh of comfort.

“Well…Even though the past had tainted myself already, I don’t see any reason for me to stop there. I just learned how to live again.”

“But what about those who wanted peace and they left you out to have it?”

“Then, I’ll set them free if that would mean that they can contain what they merit. Not everyone you see will be pleased by you. You got your own timeline to set. So, it’s better to live by your own rules somehow without stepping on the others, Carmilla.”

“So, should have I left you instead?”

“Is that even a question?” She smiled. “Of course, it’s a no.”

She gave her a smile and rubbed her back. When Kinzel had left Era. In some matters, Loshiana had stood as a mother figure to them. She wanted to be better not only for herself but for the family she wanted to protect.

“We should get some sleep, don’t you think?” She suggested and laid the empty cup on the table, beside her piled books she still need to read.

“Yes. I think we should.”

She hasn’t finished her embroidery due to her heaped, spine-aching schedules. She moved to her bed and pulled the sheets to cover her legs. Carmilla finished her tea and followed her, sitting beside her. There was only one bed for them to share, but it wasn’t a problem to them.

“What’s your plan tomorrow by the way?” Loshaina asked.

“To think that I’m still in another mission right now, I can’t go with you tomorrow to the forest. I still need to find something so valuable.”

“Valuable. That’s a vague thing to seek. Can you tell me about it?”

She slowly shook her head. “As far as I want to, I still can’t tell anyone of you about it. I’m sorry…”

She chuckled. “It’s okay. You don’t have to feel bad about it. Let’s just say, it’s…privacy.” She whispered to her.

Loshiana took a yawn and wiped her eyes. She lied herself down and stared on the ceiling wall. “If you think that your father is responsible for the death of the Informant…and by the time you’ll seek the truth, please don’t lose yourself.” She glanced at her. “The YOU, you have right now is valuable. And you need to keep it too. Goodnight, Carmilla.”

Loshiana slowly closed her eyes to rest, leaving Carmilla into deep thoughts. She decided to lie down beside her now and tugged the sheets up to her chest.

“Don’t think too much. We trust you…just like the old times.” She lastly stated.

Trust. It dawdled in her ears. It’s a simple thing to mention, but it's hard for her to keep and do. To her, it can be a blessing but also it can be the reason for someone to be teared off apart. It will depend somehow on how she sees it and what her actions will be for that subject.

“Thank you…” She answered her and slowly felt tiredness embracing her to sleep. Right, she reminded herself that she’s also a person and not a robot. She also needed to rest. So then, she decided to close her sight and stopped her thoughts for a while. It’s a way for her to calm her aching soul.