Threshold

Entry 10 – Your Own Kind

Today,

I looked in the mirror before stepping out.

No filters,

no powdered colors of confidence – just me.

I smiled at my reflection,

not because I was flawless,

but because I finally saw what I had always written about.

I saw Beauty – not glittery or applied,

but calm, natural,

and mine.

Outside,

the world shimmered with filters and lashes,

wigs catching the sunlight,

nails painted like polished art,

and bodies enhanced to fit in.

They were beautiful too,

but their kind of beauty wasn’t mine.

And I was okay with that.

Because if I tried to be them,

I may lose me – the

spark that makes my glow different.

The kind that doesn’t scream to be seen,

but still stands out in the room.

Someone said,

“You’re so beautiful,”

and maybe they meant it for another reason,

but I smiled anyway.

Because today,

I didn’t need the world’s mirror

to show me my reflection –

I carried it within.

And in that moment, I felt a firm freedom,

the freedom from wanting to imitate anyone,

from chasing a beauty that doesn’t belong to me.

Even if I ever decide to try something new,

it should be because I want to,

not because I envied the attention some else who did it got.

Desire born from pressure is not choice,

it’s imitation in disguise.

And I would lose myself instead.

And me is nature,

unrushed, quietly growing,

never in a hurry to bloom before its time.

Totally unrelated though...

But I've always loved Green.

It feels like peace made visible,

the color of life that never wears out,

that stays colorful even after the storm.

It reminds me of what I should be –

Soft, but strong,

Rooted, but reaching,

Alive in my own rhythm.

Though you won’t always see it on me,

not painted around the corners of my room

or flaunted in every piece of clothing or

trinket,

it still holds a dear place in my heart.

Because green is the color of life,

of renewal and unwavering strength.

The color of nature.

So even if there should be makeup,

let it be the branches – never the roots.

Let it decorate, not define.

Because the roots are where I (you) stay true,

And that, is a unique kind of beauty.

Own Your Spark and watch it shine.

.

* * * * * * *

Today, I was broke, not the dramatic kind, just the kind of brokenness that makes you grin because what else can you do?

The kind that makes you spend your last card on a meal and call it a treat.

I wanted fried rice and chicken, something cool and royal.

Instead, I got bread and fish with malt and water – my humble feast.

I almost bought Agege bread as usual, but my hand betrayed me and reached for Charlie sliced bread, soft and big.

It looked like it would at least last me more than two meals.

Survival, with a touch of self-love.

The seller tried to pack me a strong, burnt one, but I touched it and laughed,

“Abeg change am fast, no be this one I dey use my last card buy go be like frozen semo.”

“Please change it fast, I would not use my last

card to buy a bread that looks like frozen semovita."

It’s funny how temporary lack sharpens sensitivity.

Gas had finished yesterday night, and I stood this afternoon torn between refilling it or warming up what was probably already spoiled food as I also didn't warm it yesterday night because of same predicament.

The smell I perceived alone convinced

me once I opened the pot.

So I poured it away and went with what wouldn’t need fire.

Bread and fish. Simple.

And then I remembered:

Jesus fed five thousand people with bread and fish.

So before eating, I whispered,

“Lord, let this give me the same satisfaction five loaves and two fishes gave five thousand people.”

And maybe He heard.

Because even though I was really starving, after five slices, I was full.

Truly full.

If that makes sense.

And the funniest thing?

There were two fishes in the sardine I bought. Exactly two.

Now I’m not even worried about cooking rice tonight.

If I can just get a little to refill my gas, it’ll be fine.

But right now, I’m happy.

It feels like life said,

“Don't worry, I’ve got you for today.”

Sometimes, that’s all faith really is, trusting that today’s little miracle is enough for now.

Happy Sun-day.