His (BxB)

Part 8

I'm at my locker putting in a book and getting for another when William stops my hand from doing it. Drawing my hand out of the locker, I look at him in askance. He's standing beside me, or more like looming over me. I'm not able to read his current facial expression. After what happened at the cafeteria, I know he's still upset. Maybe even extremely furious. But his face doesn't show it. It's just flat like that. Like he's no longer giving a damn about whatever the world has to offer. Perhaps that is including me.

"We go home now." He speaks, still in which voice that gives me a chill. Meaning that he wants us to go to his house now.

"Wh... But the next class is..." A loud sound of metal banging cuts my sentence. William has slammed my locker door close with an excessive force it almost makes me jump. Positive, he's still furious. Only he hides it too well beneath his calm facade. And he's not in the mood for discussion. That is why I choose to stay silent and completely docile when he hurriedly drags me outside by my arm.

There aren't too many people in the hallway that we pass through. Most of them are probably in classes already. Ready for the next period. I try my best to keep up with William's pace. As we got out of the school building, he's no longer dragging me. He walks in front of me, still in that steady haste. He does not bother looking back to check whether I am still following him or not. He knows I am.

William makes a sudden stop as we reach his car at the parking lot. By the time he turns around to face me, I have already stopped walking and stood close to him. I observe his visage to see any sign that he might want to change his mind about him still having anything to do with a dumb person like me.

"Take it off." Says William.

"Sorry?" I raise my eyebrows. Completely not knowing what he's talking about.

"Necklace. Off. Now." He spells bitterly word by word to give enough pressure on each one. He does not care to make a complete sentence out of them.

Seeing his hand is stretching out waiting for the necklace, I do exactly what he orders me to. I take off my bird necklace in a hurry. I know better than to deny his current request. Any rebellious act won't get me anywhere this time. And I have a feeling that this is going to be the last time I ever see that necklace again. But even so, I dare not to make any gesture that would look like I'm taking a short moment to observe the thing for the very last time.

I hand him the necklace and wait for his response as he takes time observing the bronze bird pendant that comes with a black thread in his hand. I don't like the way his face turns sour the longer he looks at it. Like it's some kind of a heart-breaking object. Perhaps it is, or at least to him. It is when I feel a giant surge of guilt starting to fill up in my chest. It is aching.

I should've known better. I should've just obeyed when he asked me to stop wearing that necklace months ago. How could I even have the heart to unconsciously hurt William like this? The only person who had introduce me to happiness. The only one that means the world to me.

"I'm so sorry." My voice comes out a bit too emotional. Almost like a soft whimper.

My apology snaps William out of his focus. Without responding to me, he throws my necklace to a random direction. I know he's aiming for as far as possible. And surrounding this parking lot, there's a large park with many tall trees and medium-height bushes. I guess the necklace must fall somewhere in that park and I really don't want to look in that park's direction. I'm afraid William would think that I might want to go looking for it later when he's not around.

"Get in." He holds the car door open, allowing me to enter his car. This is like a habit for him every time we're about to get into a car. He never allows me to open the door myself. Apparently, he still insists on doing it even when he's mad at me.

Once we both are settled in our seats, William doesn't immediately start the car. He pulls out his iPhone from his jeans pocket and dials someone's number in his contacts. He waits for the dial tone shortly before he begins to speak with someone at the other end.

"Jules, I changed my mind. I was wondering if you could make the delivery much faster. I want it tonight. I believe it's ready, isn't it?"

What delivery? I honestly don't know. But I bet it doesn't have anything to do with me. My boyfriend has a huge family business, so this might be one of a few matters that he's currently handling.

"Yes, I don't mind extra charge." William adds before the conversation ends. "Thank you, Jules."

He locks his iPhone and puts it back in his pocket. I get a little nervous as William takes a second to gaze at me before he starts the car and works with the wheel.

"Seat belt, Lou."

I just realized that I haven't fastened it yet. Stupid me. How can I forget? Not waiting for a second reminder, I quickly fasten my seat belt before I manage to throw any more mental scolding to myself.

Another long while of silence lingers again in our way to his house. Despite of my stiff body language, my thoughts can't seem to stop racing wild inside my thick skull of an airhead. I contemplate whether or not I should break the silence. And currently I have no clue of which one the correct action supposedly is.

"William, please don't be mad." I decide to make an effort. And when there's no response coming from him, I continue, "It's not like what you think it is."

"You know what I think?" He keeps his attention straight on the road.

"What Mikey said... It's not true." I choose not to answer his question directly.

"Which part?" He asks coldly. "The necklace was from Ethan? Or you're f*cking in love with that tool?"

"William, I'm not."

"Then the necklace was indeed from him." He quickly comes to a conclusion after only few questions. "And somehow you didn't bother to tell me that."

"I... I didn't mean to h-"

"What else you didn't mean to, huh?" He cuts my sentence before I can finish. "You didn't mean to be with me?"

"Wh... I..."

"F*CKING ANSWER ME, LOUIS!" He barks and then grits his teeth containing his anger.

"I didn't mean to hide anything from you." I stare at his both hands on the steering wheel. Carefully observing whether they're forming into strong fists if I say something he doesn't like to hear. "It's just some memories I want to bury. And I don't want to disturb you with unnecessary issue. I don't want to make you jealous over something insignificant."

"I told you already. I have every right to be jealous. And you don't get to f*cking decide what I should do!"

"Yes. I know. I'm so sorry."

"Do you love him?"

"What? No." How can he even ask me that? Ethan had turned most of my high school memories into nightmares.

"DID you love him?"

That question is enough to overwhelm me with distress. "William... Whatever happened in the past won't change the fact that I love you now."

"So, you did." Again, he easily jumps into a conclusion. It seems like all his questions have a certain scoring system. And he automatically formulates the result based on my answers.

"No," I deny his raw conclusion, "I probably did have a little crush on him. But that was a grave mistake. I didn't know that he's a homophobic."

"So, you liked him A LOT." He makes sure to put pressure on the 'a lot' part. "And that's why you insisted on wearing that necklace even when I asked you to-"

"No, it's not like that." I dare myself to intercept his sentence. This isn't something I normally do.

"Do f*cking tell me then." He shots a vicious side glance towards me. "Don't make me break a sweat trying to elaborate what's going on inside that head of yours."

I let out a small sigh before starting to talk. "He and Tim were my childhood best friends. I was a shy boy and very easily to get picked on. But they always looked after me and prevented me from getting annoyed by other kids. Especially Ethan, he treated me like I was his little brother. He gave me that necklace when I was at elementary school." I tell him a bit piece of my past. "But then I got stupid. I thought I had feelings for Ethan and decided to let him know before he graduated junior high school."

I make a short pause to glance at William's face. Trying to read whatever expression that crosses on it, but it's hopeless. My boyfriend is not an open book kind of person. Or maybe it's me who's too bad at reading people. But really, his body language doesn't show any response. He just listens to me while having his eyes focused on the road.

"Since that day, he stopped seeing me. Avoiding me in every way he could. He said I was disgusting." I stare at my lap, not sure what I'm exactly looking at. "He no longer came into my rescue when I needed help. Until lately he finally became one of my bullies also."

"Why you kept his gift? Weren't you supposed to hate him?"

I shake my head in negative. "I couldn't hate him. I tried to but I kept on remembering our happy childhood moments together. I don't understand how people can simply change 180 degrees like that. Like there's a switch button somewhere. I kept the necklace only to remind me that there's a good guy beneath that obvious hatred he always wears to face me. With that, hopefully I could lessen the emotional pain I felt whenever I get picked on."

William pulls the car into his house drive way. After we pass through the steel gate, William chooses to stay silent until we reach the garage. I go silent as well. Part of me is wondering how William is going to respond to this new information. Some other parts are busy scolding myself and my stupidity.

"Come on." William says before he gets out of his car. His words still sound like orders.

I take my dirty plate from our breakfast this morning before following him to go out. The plate has been sitting inside the dashboard drawer, neatly wrapped in a plastic bag. Heading towards the kitchen, I bring my plate with me to wash it there.

"Just leave it to the maids. We're going upstairs."

"Alright." I put my plate on the sink and proceed to follow William going up to his bedroom. 

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