Falling for Him

A Closer Look

Our breaths mix between us as we stare into each other’s eyes. My heart thumps in my chest and I feel the pain seeping back into my skin, tears fill my eyes. I raise my head trying to kiss him again but he moves back out of my reach. His eyebrows furrow at me as if he can feel my hurt.

“No Elise.. you’re in pain” he whispers as he presses my wrists into the bed, holding me in place. Tears begin to fall and I need my pain to go away.

“Please..” I plead for him to take the pain away and try to wiggle my wrists out of his hold. He lets them go but he also moves back and off of the bed before I can grab him; he stands peering at me.

“Don’t you want me?” My voice cracking as I try to hold back my tears. He stares at me and releases a deep sigh.

“I do.. but not like this” his eyes on me like he can see me physically breaking in front of him. The restraint evident in his expression, he turns toward the door and a feeling of abandonment washes over me.

“Wait..” he pauses in his footsteps still facing the door at the sound of my voice.

“Can you stay with me.. please.. I don’t want to be alone..” I say in almost a whisper. He slowly turns to me and hesitantly walks toward the bed, he takes the white T shirt he had placed on the bed and opens it for me to push my head through. I crawl to the edge of the bed where he is and he places it over my head and I push through my arms. It fits big, it’s probably one of his. He walks around to the other side and lays down with his arms propping up his head. I crawl over to him and place my head on his chest and my arm over his abdomen fisting his shirt into my hand. He freezes under my touch and holds his breath. Pain now consumes me and I let myself go.. crying into his chest. His hands move from propping his head to wrap around me, holding me close to him. The warmth of him is soothing and I cry myself to sleep in his arms.

I wake to the sun shining on my face from the windows and I dread having to move. I squint about the room but there’s no sign of Russell. I lift my frame out of bed and go to use the bathroom; when I reach the sink to wash my hands and face, I meet my reflection. I look pummeled, my eyes are puffy from excessive crying with tiredness and exhaustion evident in my face. I leave the bedroom and head downstairs to where I think the kitchen is. On my way there, I admire the large paintings on the walls. I hasn’t noticed them before due to my emotional state last night no doubt. The paintings are beautiful and have an emotional quality to them. There’s one in particular that draws me in; it has black and blue hues and upon closer inspection one could make out a face staring back. One word comes to mind at the feeling it evokes.. emptiness. I continue down the stairs and find the kitchen that is also empty. Maybe I’m here alone. I help my self to a glass of orange juice as there’s nothing else to have for breakfast.

I didn’t hear Russell come in to find me in the kitchen helping himself to a seat by the island as my back faces him. His eyes trail my body, a smirk appearing on his lips knowing I have nothing under his T shirt. I spin around, not anticipating him and I am startled, spilling some of the juice from the glass. He wears a light grey T shirt and still manages to look gorgeous, with his hair tousled about his head. I meet his daunting eyes and immediately my face turns flushed as I recall my actions last night.

“Good morning” his deep voice breaks the ice.

“Morning” I mumble in return.

“You look beautiful as always” he says with a radiant smile. I scoff at his words.

“Look at me..” I shrug my shoulders knowing full well I look terrible.

“I am..” his piercing gaze on me and his eyes harden. Silence ensues the atmosphere. He then breaks his gaze looking toward the counter.

“I brought breakfast.. I hope you’re hungry” he begins to open the bag. I walk closer to the counter and stop once I’m opposite him.

“I’m sorry.. about last night” I place the glass down tapping my fingernails on it. I bring my eyes up to meet his, he stares at me but doesn’t say anything.

“I should go” my eyes dart toward the door and then back to his. He studies my face before answering.

“Where would you go?” He raises an eyebrow in question. Sh*t.. I don’t have anywhere to go.

“I’ll figure something out” I say but he doesn’t seemed convinced. He stands from his seat and goes to the cupboard taking out two plates, he comes next to me placing one down in front of me and the other in front of him.

“Stay..” his face full of emotion. He places his hand on mine on the counter; I feel it again, the tingles where he touches me. I glance down at it and then back to his face, I pull my hand away.

“I couldn’t possibly..” he cuts me off before I can finish my sentence.

“Just until you have somewhere to go” his eyes search mine. What is it about him?

“Well.. I have work” I state thinking I have the final word. He lets out a soft chuckle.

“I called in a few days for you..” he says and I have no words.

“Now.. sit and eat.. please” I roll my eyes at the instructions and he laughs. I walk around the island and take a seat while he places breakfast on the plates. He slides one of the plates to me and comes to take the seat next to mine.

“Thank you..” I say with my head down at the plate.

“It’s nothing” he says as he begins to eat.

“..for everything” I now turn to face him, he pauses and turns to me. I begin to blush remembering the events of us last night.

“Do you want to talk about it?” His voice shaking me from the memory.

“There’s nothing to talk about..” I bluntly state as I am reminded of what led to all of this.

“..I came home to find Allison with Ben” I direct my gaze toward the counter trying to hide my emotion and he gives me a questioned look.

“Naked.. together..” my gaze still toward the counter as the vile image comes to my mind. I shake my head trying to get it out.

“Uh hem..” I direct my gaze toward him once again. His eyes give nothing away but they call for me.

“You have a good eye..” I try offering a soft smile in an attempt to change the subject, slight confusion comes across his face.

“The paintings upstairs.. they’re amazing” I begin to pick at the breakfast in front of me. Russell huffs and lets out a soft chuckle.

“What?” I ask at his reaction.

“I made those..” he says matter of fact. I swallow a little harder than I should.

“Well.. you have an amazing talent” I take a sip of the juice.

“Maybe you would let me paint you sometime” his sultry voice catches me a little off guard and my eyes widen at the suggestion. We finish eating and I go to wash up, he comes next to me as I am drying the dishes. He places his hand on my arm making me jump a little and I gasp at the sensation it gives me. What is he doing to me? I look up to meet his gaze and find eyes that are trying to read my mind.

“What is it?” I whimper a bit as I feel my vulnerability is evident.

“I.. I” he begins to say when suddenly the elevator dings. We both jump and turn towards the sound. A young man comes into sight, wearing a yellow polo shirt with a delivery company’s logo on it with black slacks.

“Good morning Mr Evans” he says vibrantly and I hate it as that is not the mood I’m in. Russell walks toward him and signs for a package, he then reaches into his pocket and gives him a tip. The young man turns to leave.

“Stay out of trouble Jaime” he says as he waves him goodbye.

“I always do” the young man salutes him playfully as the elevator doors close. Russell turns and walks back to me, handing me the package and as if reading my questioned look..

“I met him at an orphanage here.. I help keep him out of trouble” he smiles as he seems to have a fond memory.

“And these.. are for you” he gives me a pointed look at the package.