Falling for Him

Face to Face

I lift myself out of bed and sit at the edge, I run my hands over my face wiping away my tears. I carry my limp body to the bathroom, as I reach the sink to grab my toothbrush, my eyes travel up my body in the mirror. I was still wearing the red lace bra and panties I had planned to surprise Ben with. I begin to sob once again. I tear my eyes away from my gaze and wrap my hands around my frame. Flashes of what I saw last night appear in my mind. I hated this feeling.

I manage to have a shower and get ready for work. I decided on a navy blue long sleeved dress, to match my gloomy mood, that fell just above my knees with ruffles at bottom, and my usual black work pumps. As I head to the kitchen, I can’t bring myself to eat anything and just settle on a cup of peppermint tea. As I am about to leave, I glance at myself in the mirror, my eyes travel up my body and stop as I meet my gaze in the reflection.

“You can get through this” I try to muster a smile at myself and I head towards the door.

I arrive at the hospital and make my way through the main entrance.There are many people around, decorating the entrance and the main lobby, some of them are on ladders hanging lights. I then remember the fundraiser for the hospital that’s happening tomorrow night. Pain tugs in my chest as I remember Ben is supposed to attend with me.

“So how did last night go with Ben?” Someone asks behind me and it shakes me from my thoughts. I turn to see my best friend Allison. Her long brunette hair is pulled back in a sleek low ponytail. Her beautiful golden brown skin dances under the morning sun. She’s wearing a gray and black plaid pants that hugs her legs and gray shirt to match, with the first button open to show her cleavage. With her tall form, she still insists to wear heels. She comes to tower next to me as I continue walking down the hall.

“Morning Allison” I force a smile hoping she would forget about her question.

“Morning..” she raises an eyebrow at me waiting for an answer.

“So are you going to tell me how it went?” She insists.

“It was fine” I mumble, not wanting to talk about last nights events still clinging to the hope that it wasn’t real.

“Come on E! I need details.” She pleads as she clings to my arm.

“Just drop it! I don’t want to talk about it!” I slightly raise my voice as I remove her grip from my arm. She takes a step back with a look of concern appearing on her face.

“Are you okay E?” She takes a step towards me and holds my hands in her’s making me meet her gaze.

I try to fight down the tears rising in my eyes and suck in a deep breath.

“I just want to make it through day” I sighed.

“I’ll see you later Ali” I turn away to continue down the hall not wanting to answer any more questions.

“Later then” I hear her mutter, her voice full of worry.

I make it to the laboratory and head straight to my office and only offer soft smiles and brief greetings to my colleagues I encounter. I close my office door behind me and collapse in my chair. I then dive straight into my work hoping to take my mind far far away.

Lunch time quickly approaches, and I realize I haven’t checked my phone the entire day. I pull it out my bag, immediately I see 35 missed calls, 14 voicemails, and endless messages from Ben. Even the sight of his name now makes my stomach churn. I sigh and place the phone back into my bag, suddenly the office phone rings. I stare at it a moment and I hesitantly answer.

“This is Elise Wilson” I hold my breath waiting to hear the caller’s voice.

“It’s me E, are we having lunch in your office or the cafeteria today?” The sound of Allison’s voice washes over me and I breathe a sigh of relief.

“I’m not really hungry Ali, you go on without me” I really just wanted to be alone.

“We don’t have to talk E but you should eat something, I’ll bring something to the office. I’ll call you when I get to the cafeteria and tell you what they have. Okay?” I hear the worry in her voice and know she’s just being a good friend.

“Okay Ali” I sigh in defeat as I hang up the phone.

The phone suddenly rings again.

“Ali I’ll just have the chicken salad” I huff out slightly annoyed.

“Elise.. is that you?” The caller’s dreaded voice fills my ears and I’m taken back. I freeze.

“Elise are you there?” His voice full of anxiety.

“Please.. can we talk?”

I hang up the phone and release the breath I realize I’m holding. A wave of emotions wash over me and I am unable to think or react. I stay glued to my seat and suddenly I feel cold, making goosebumps appear on my skin. The phone rings again, and this time I just sit and stare at it in a daze. Moments pass and the ringing stops. My breath is ragged and I am still unable to move, the walls seem to be closing in on me and my chest feels tight. I think I’m having a panic attack.

I try to control my breathing by sucking in big gulps of air, my hands are squeezing the arms of the chair, I feel tears beading in my eyes. There is suddenly a knock at the door. My eyes focus on the handle as I see it slowly move downward and the door begins to open.

“E, are you in here?” Allison pushes her head inside to peak about the room. Her eyes meet mine and the tears begin to fall uncontrollably. She darts inside placing the bags she’s holding in one of the chairs in front of the desk and turns back to close and lock the door. She comes around the desk to me, twisting the chair in her direction, and goes on her knees taking my face in her hands, forcing me to meet her gaze.

“You’re okay Elise” her voice is calm and soothing in this moment. She slightly comes up and embraces me in a tight hug.

“Just breathe. Let it all out” she says as one of her hands come up to stroke my hair. I fall apart in her embrace as I am overwhelmed with emotions. I don’t know how long we stay like that but as I get a grip on my emotions, her arms loosen from around me and she goes to sit on the other vacant chair in front of the desk. She sits quietly as I take tissues and dry my eyes and try to regain my composure. The silence becomes deafening as I meet her eyes.

“I caught Ben last night” I say in almost a whisper but I knew she heard me. She doesn’t move and her expression doesn’t change. After a few moments I decide maybe she didn’t hear me after all.

“I caught Ben cheating last night” I say again as composed as I could muster at the moment. She shifts in her chair and I see she’s thinking.

“I heard you the first time” she says as I try to decipher the look on her face. I realize I have a questioned look on my face as she makes the next statement.

“I’m just thinking of all the ways to make him pay for the hurt he has caused you.. maybe I should just kill him” she blurts out with no remorse.

“Or I can just cut his d**k off” her eyes stray and I see a crazed look in her eyes.

“Can we just talk about something else please, anything else?” I say making her eyes snap back to me and she proceeds to hand me one of the bags in the other chair. I open it and see she brought the chicken salad for me. A soft smile appears on my lips, she knows me so well. Allison begins to eat and I just fumble about my crate taking small bites every now and then not wanting her to force me to eat like I knew she would if I didn’t touch it.

“So are we still attending the fundraiser tomorrow night?” She says with her head still down in her food.

“I think I’ll sit this one out” I didn’t want to be surrounded by people and preferred to stay at home.

“Come on E, you can’t stay like this. It’ll help take your mind off Ben” my eyes come up to meet her’s. I didn’t want to hear his name and like if she read my mind..

“I mean you know who..” she says correcting herself. Her eyes don’t leave mine and I knew I didn’t have a choice.

“Fine” I sighed out in defeat. We finish eating and I listen while Allison talked about what she was going to wear before my mind trails elsewhere.

“They’re supposed to be introducing the new CEO tomorrow night..” she says realizing I’m here physically but my mind is somewhere else.

“That’s great” I reply, not sure if it is the right answer to whatever she was saying. Before she left she made me promise to call her when I got home. I continue my work for the day and glance at the clock. It’s about 4:00 pm and I decide to call it a day.

I make it home and unlock the door, I feel relieved as I’m free to crumble without anyone seeing. I close the door behind me and continue inside. As I come to the kitchen, I stop abruptly, I see him sitting by the kitchen counter tapping his fingers on the countertop. Dropping my bag to the floor, my breath leaves my body. He turns towards me and begins to take steps in my direction.

“We need to talk.”