Chapter 4: The Ghost Gets a Brand Deal
558 Words
Chapter 4: “The Ghost Gets a Brand Deal”
Jamie was brushing his teeth when the ad started playing on his speaker.
> “Do you want skin so smooth it’s practically ethereal? Try PhantomGlow™, the moisturizer so light, it’s practically dead.”
He spat toothpaste all over the mirror.
“Are you—are you doing sponsored ads now?!”
Ghostie faded through the bathroom wall, holding a glowing serum bottle in one translucent hand.
> “Not just ads, Jamie. Brand deals. I’m a skinfluencer now.”
“You don’t even have skin!”
> “Which makes me the perfect blank canvas.”
Jamie wiped his face with a towel and glared at the product. “Does this… does this company know you’re a ghost?”
> “Not exactly. I told them I’m an ‘ultra-minimalist off-grid wellness blogger with a zero-carbon footprint.’”
Jamie narrowed his eyes. “That is… not wrong. Disturbingly clever, even.”
> “I also told them my pores are invisible.”
“That’s because your body is invisible!”
> “Exactly. Flawless.”
Later that day, Jamie tried to job-hunt online while Ghostie filmed a tutorial called “How to Haunt Your Way to Perfect Confidence.”
“I’m sorry, did you just say, ‘gaslight, gatekeep, ghost girlboss’?” Jamie asked from behind his laptop.
> “It’s branding, Jamie. Keep up.”
“You know what I want to keep up? Rent. Because I still don’t have a job, and Phil is texting me skull emojis again.”
> “Maybe we can monetize Brenda.”
Jamie glanced nervously at the toaster, which was humming ominously.
“Didn’t she threaten to burn my eyebrows off yesterday?”
> “She’s warming up to you. Literally.”
Jamie ducked as the toaster fired a rogue Pop-Tart across the room.
That evening, Ghostie revealed his greatest plan yet.
> “We’re launching a merch line.”
Jamie choked on his ramen. “We what?!”
> “Shirts. Stickers. Glow-in-the-dark hoodies that say ‘Dead Inside But Still Wi-Fi Connected.’”
“…Okay, that’s actually pretty good.”
> “Also: mugs, cursed candles, and a self-help e-book titled ‘Boo-tiful: Embracing Your Inner Phantom.’”
Jamie stared. “You wrote an e-book?”
> “No, but ChatGPT did.”
By midnight, their first livestream was underway. Ghostie floated in front of the camera, lit by candlelight, holding a beauty serum and a toaster pastry like a tiny edible sidekick.
Jamie sat just off-screen, wearing a hoodie and trying to look like he hadn’t just been hit in the head by Brenda’s latest gluten tantrum.
> “And remember,” Ghostie told the camera, “you don’t need a pulse to slay.”
Comments rolled in:
@HauntGirl69: “Where can I buy that hoodie??”
@DeadTiredDad: “Brenda for president.”
@GhoulCrush: “Jamie is cute, is he single or just spiritually overwhelmed?”
Jamie blinked. “Wait… someone thinks I’m cute?”
Ghostie smirked. > “Told you. Sad Bagel Energy is very in right now.”
As the livestream wrapped, Jamie leaned back and smiled.
He still had no job.
He lived with a haunted toaster.
His roommate was a t****k-famous ghost.
But somehow…
It kind of worked.
End of Chapter 4
- Writer
