I'll Always Be His

Chapter 10

Tessa

As promised, Hardin was still in my bed waiting on me when I got out of the shower. He was asleep and looked so peaceful. I wish I could be that much at peace. My mind was full of turmoil. I snuck out and down the stairs to the kitchen. Sylas looked up when I walked in with a look of shock on his face.

"You decide to rejoin the living?" He asked in a smart ass tone.

"Hardin didn't give me much of a choice," I say grabbing a banana off the counter.

"Hardin?"

"Yeah, he's asleep in my bed."

"Well, he's in love with you apparently, so I guess he would be in your bed," he said witha vile tone.

"Not like that, Sylas. I'm in love with him too but I'll tell you like I told him. I'm not ready for anything right now. I need to heal myself first. I don't owe you an explanation, neither of us do, for the way we feel about each other. I know he's your best friend and I'm not trying to take him from you. So stop acting like a child about it."

His bright blue eyes flash in annoyance at me, "Touchè, but honestly, if anyone is gonna be with my sister, he's the only one I trust."

He got up from the bar stool he was sitting at and walked over to me. He kissed the top of my forehead and wrapped me up in a hug. I stiffened at first because this is totally not my brother but after the shock wore off I melted into his hug. He has always been my protector and I really just needed this right now. He pulled back and looked at me, "Hardin has been in love with you for years. I've known this for years. I also know I had no right to stand in the way of that. I know he's going to take good care of you. Now, go wake him up or were gonna be late for our Saturday practice. I gotta go get ready."

I headed back up to my room to get Hardin up but he was awake relaxing in my bed. "Sylas said you better get ready or you'll be late for practice."

"f**k it, I'll be late then," he said pulling me onto the bed and into his arms. I felt safe here. I never wanted to leave here even though I know I'll have to eventually. He tilted my head up and kissed my lips. I resisted at first but then gave in. It felt so right. It was like electricity flowing through me zapping at all my nerve endings. He deepend the kiss, sliding his tongue along mine, and I gave in willingly. He rolled me over pressing his body on top of mine and I instantly stiffen. Sensing something was wrong he stopped and looked down at me brushing a piece of hair from my forehead, "Did I hurt you?"

"No, it's just...... complicated," I managed to choke out. How do I explain to him that just being in this position, him lying on top of me, brings that day back in full force. That, even though I know its him, just feeling that pressure on top of my body, feels like I'm right back there with Nick on top me. I truly am broken. I don't know how to fix this within myself. I don't know if i'll ever be able to stand being touched, by him or anyone else. My skin is crawling now and I just want to be away from him. I shimmied out from underneath him and scurried away from him. I pulled my knees up to my chest and hugged them tight, tears beginning to streak down my face. He reaches out to me but I pull away. "Hey," he says, "It's ok, I understand baby, I just want to hold you. Would that be ok?"

I nodded my head. I really didn't know if it would be but I was willing to try. I hated feeling like this. I wanted him, all of him, but I just can't. He wrapped me up in his arms and as soon as he does the tears flow freely. I wasn't sure how I'd feel letting him hold me considering my skin was crawling from his touch a minute ago but I felt safe wrapped in his arms and that was comforting.

A knock on the door takes us out of our own world. Sylas poked his head in. "We gotta go bro."

Hardin looked at me, "You gonna be ok? You want me to stay?"

I shook me head, "No, go, I'm ok."

He stood and kissed my forehead before heading for the door. He stopped and looked back at me, "I'll be back after practice. I love you Goldilocks." He smiled and was out the door leaving me lost and alone in my own head.

Hardin

I hated leaving her. Nick had done so much more than just physical damage to her. Her face and body were healing nicely but her mind was damaged and I just didn't know how to help her. He destroyed her and I was going to personally see that he paid for that. I'm never going to let anyone hurt again even if I have to bodyguard her twenty four seven I will. No matter how much damage he's done or how many physical and mental scars he left on her I'm going to be there all the way. I will fix my broken angel. I don't care If I can never touch her again or if I have to be celibate the rest of my life, I just want to be with her. I want to be there for her. I just wish she could feel how much I love her. I wish she would let me in. She's determined to shut me out, to shut the world out, but I won't let her. I love her and I'm not going anywhere no matter how hard she tries to push me away.