SAINT, SINNER, AND THE GIRL IN BETWEEN

Chapter 9: You Will Survive

CALLA

By Friday afternoon, I am exhausted from pretending all week. Miles doesn’t notice. He wouldn’t anyway because his face is buried in Brina’s half the time.

We are leaning against the lockers, the three of us like always. Brina is talking about something that happened to the basketball coach so practice is cancelled or something. I’m only half listening. My focus keeps drifting. My mind isn’t where it should be. It hasn’t been all week.

“Are you coming to practice?” Miles asks suddenly, turning to me.

I blink, pulling myself back. “Today?”

“Yeah. We have got a scrimmage. It starts in a few minutes and it would be nice to have two of my favorite people there. Then we can ride home together later.”

For a second, I want to say yes. I want to fall back into our easy "tradition"; sitting in the stands, watching him own the ice, feeling like I belong somewhere in his world... But then reality settles back in.

“I can’t,” I say, forcing my voice to stay light. “I have tutoring.”

His expression flickers. The change is gone so fast that I don’t read it well. Maybe disappointment? But he gets that look when it’s about Ryder. I am about to apologize when a group of his hockey friends barrels toward us.

“Bennett!” one of them calls, clapping him on the shoulder. “You better cancel any plans you had tonight, man. My brother is throwing a sick party and I got us all invited.”

“Yeah,” another cuts in, grinning. “Half the senior class is already talking about it. Missing is for losers.”

The energy shifts instantly. Miles straightens a little, that easy confidence sliding into place like it always does around them. It’s effortless, exactly where he belongs.

“Of course I’m coming. I am no loser.”

“That’s my boy!” the first guy says as they do a quick hand clasp, shoulder bump. Then he glances at me and Brina. “You two coming?”

Brina doesn’t even hesitate. “Obviously. I go where my boyfriend goes.”

I don’t say anything. I usually don’t because I’m always a follower, expected to move with what goes. When the guys leave, Miles looks at me again. “We will see you at the party tonight then?”

His tone is casual, like he expects me to say yes right away. And God I want to.

I want to say yes, I want to be there, standing next to him like I always have.

And the truth is, I would rather be anywhere else but sitting in that living room with my parents for “family night” pretending we are not quietly falling apart. But I don’t have a choice.

“I can’t,” I say, forcing the words out lightly. “I have... a thing with my parents tonight.”

Brina tilts her head, studying me for a second before letting out a small, disbelieving laugh.

“Calla, ew,” she says. “Seriously, at this point, I think you just don’t like fun. Who would choose hanging out with their parents instead of enjoying the last year of high school?”

My chest tightens but I don’t respond. I don’t have an excuse that won’t sound like a lie. Not even Miles knows my current home situation and I don’t want to make it a thing.

“You sure you can’t come?” Miles says, glancing at me. “It’s not the same without you.”

I force a small smile. “You will survive.”

My chest tightens as something stupid sparks to life before I can stop it.

It’s not the same without you. I hate how much I want that to mean more than it does.

Brina then turns to Miles, her expression softening instantly. “Don’t worry, babe,” she says, slipping her hand into his. “I’m more than enough company. You won’t be bored.” And then she kisses him right in front of me.

It’s not even a big dramatic moment but my stomach drops. It shouldn’t still hurt like this. It shouldn’t feel this fresh but it’s worse somehow, because now I know what it feels like to be on the other side of that.

I swallow, forcing my expression neutral. “I’ll see you guys later,” I mutter.

Neither of them stops me. I doubt they even notice me walking away.