Chapter 11: Be mine
1811 Words
Esmeralda
When morning came, Lucans side of the bed was empty. I got up and found him in the kitchen drinking a glass of water and wearing nothing but some sweatpants.
I tried not to stare but failed, I went over to him and wrapped my arms around his waist, pressing my cheek against his back and ran my hands over his muscled chest and stomach.
He turned in my arms so that my face was against his solid chest and laughed softly. “I don’t think you quite understand how the whole ‘no strings attached’ works.”
“What do you mean?” I asked and went on tip toes, so I could kiss his soft lips.
With both hands on either side of my face, he stroked my hair away and kissed me on the forehead. “You don’t think this is how me and Dana used to be with one another, do you?” He asked.
I frowned at him. “Well, kind of, yeah.”
He laughed and pulled away from me. “No, if you want no strings attached, that’s not how it works. I f***k you and when I’m done I go back to my own bed, there’s no kissing or cuddling afterwards and sure as hell not the next day as way of greeting, otherwise we are basically in a relationship. That was always mine and Dana’s rules and now also mine and yours if you want to keep it strictly no strings attached.”
“Oh,” I blushed and felt stupid.
He came over to me and slid his hands on my waist. “I’ll do whatever you want, you can use me with no strings attached, or we can be more than that again. I meant what I said before, I’m yours.”
His words were so sweet and romantic and for a split second I almost said screw it, let’s get back together, but I wasn’t quite there yet, and I knew if I jumped back into dating him again or whatever the hell we had been that insecurities would creep up on me, and I’d take them out on him, that wouldn’t be fair, so with every ounce of willpower I stepped back and whispered, “no strings attached…at least for now.”
“At least for now? Does that mean there’s still a chance for us?” He asked.
“I narrowed my eyes at him, and he laughed, “ok, I’ll shut up now. No strings attached it is.”
He moved away from me and I almost whimpered as that beautiful body left me.
We got to work, and Lucan went over to Dana to see if she could find anything about death as an entity. She tried, but there was nothing real she could find.
We tried to carry on with work as normal, but whenever I saw Lucan he looked agitated and restless.
“Are you ok?” I asked him.
“Yeah, sorry I just hate not knowing how to defeat this thing, I don’t like you in danger.”
He stroked my cheek and quickly dropped his hand, “sorry.”
I hugged him tight, and he hesitantly wrapped his arms around me. “I’ve missed this,” I whispered.
“Babe, you don’t have to miss any of this, I’m right here, and I want to be yours, can’t we just go back to the way we were? Skip the whole no strings attached.”
“You don’t like the no strings attached way?” I teased.
He stayed serious and said, “no, not with you, I want more, every time I f***k you I want to hold you and kiss you after, I hate walking by you and not being able to hold you or kiss you.”
I smiled against his chest, but then I moved away from him. “I can’t yet.”
“Why not?” He asked.
“It wouldn’t be fair to you, this isn’t just me still being angry or upset, I know if we went back to that I’ll still struggle with jealousy and moments of remembering what you did, and I don’t want to take it out on you and ruin things between us.”
“Don’t worry about that, I’m a big boy I can handle you throwing s.hit at me or yelling at me, I f.ucked up, and you have every right to be upset, just please don’t shut me out, I want to be more than just someone you f***k sometimes.” He pulled me into his arms, and this time I didn’t pull away. I didn’t want to.
After a few minutes, he pulled back and leaned down to kiss me, when I didn’t pull away from that either, he pushed his tongue into my mouth and danced it around mine sensuously. I was breathless when he broke the kiss, and smiling softly at me, he asked, “so does this mean you’re my girlfriend again?”
I hesitated, but it was getting harder and harder every day to stay away from him,
so I nodded yes, and he grinned, kissing me again.
I held him and he held me tighter. “I love you,” I mumbled against his chest.
He stroked my hair softly, kissing the top of my head and whispered, “I love you too.”
I pulled back fast, looking up at him wide-eyed. “What?”
He actually blushed, and it was cute, he pulled me into his office and shut the door. Turning to face me, he said, “I love you.”
“But you said—”
“I know what I said, I didn’t think I did love you until I lost you, I never f.ucking want to feel that ever again, you’re everything to me and I would have thought that was obvious by now Esmeralda.”
I shrugged, “you said you didn’t so how was I to know?”
“Me chasing after you, begging for you back, calling you, saying I wouldn’t be able to stay away from you if you’d done it to me, none of that made you realise that I might be in love with you? Because I can promise you right now I don’t go chasing after a hook-up, I’ve never chased or begged anyone not to leave me before.”
I smiled at that, my heart felt all warm and happy, he loved me, Lucan actually loved me.
I threw myself at him, making him laugh and have to catch me. I was so lost in the moment I had enough courage to try undoing his belt buckle, but he stopped me, laughing and said, “slow down baby, trust me, I want to f***k you so bad right now, but first I want you out of danger from this death entity.”
We were stood for such a long time with him just holding me that I had to whisper, “Lucan?”
“Hmm.”
“You can let me go now.”
“Oh, s.hit, sorry,” he laughed and let me go.
I smiled at him and asked, “so where would we look first to find more out about death?”
He thought a moment and said, “two secs.”
He left the office, and I watched him go over to Dana and ask if she could watch the place for him and book in any appointments people wanted to make. I was surprised as he usually always wanted Dana to come with us, she said yes, and he came back over to me and I grew hot in the cheeks when he put his hands either side of my face and gently ran his fingers through my hair. “You ready, darling?”
I nodded, I felt like I might pass out from happiness, I wasn’t sure, it felt like it had been forever since he had called me that.
He kissed my cheek, and holding my hand, led me out of the building. I looked at him and teased, “am I going to have to be angry with you more often? You seem much more affectionate now.”
He looked down at me as we walked and pulled me in against his body. “Definitely not, I promise I will try to be like this from now on, I’m not great at showing my feelings.”
“Say it again,” I grinned.
He sighed, not needing to know what I meant and mumbled, “I love you.”
“What? I didn’t quite hear that,” I said teasingly, cupping my ear.
He gave a reluctant smile and said, “I love you, Esmeralda.” He gave my cheek a wet and sloppy kiss and I pulled back, “eww gross!” I wiped it, and he laughed, “you’re going to have to get used to it from now on, darling.”
It felt right to be with him, to be his again, it felt soul-deep kind of right. It was lightly raining as we walked through the town and past it. “Where are we going?” I asked.
“I’m not sure where to start, I know Clayton has had some dealings with the afterlife before, so I figured I’d start with him.”
“Clayton? The name rings a bell, but I can’t remember who that is.”
“He’s the alpha of the midnight pack, they live just on the other side of this town.”
“Oh, he runs the pack that helped us with the mother of the night?”
He nodded.
“How do werewolves work exactly?” I asked. I didn’t know much about them really, I knew they didn’t have to change on the full moon, they had control over it, but that’s all I knew really.
“They like to be in a pack, of course, the most dominant wolf is alpha of the pack or the female is Luna of the pack. Only an alpha wolf can turn someone by biting them, not every werewolf like the myths say. They usually have a true mate, Clayton’s pack are decent, but you do get werewolves who are absolute fuckers and want to dominate and challenge you at every damn thing, that’s all I know really.”
I nodded, and before I knew it, we were at Clayton’s place. It was a big house, I would say more of a little mansion than anything, and it was on a land of greenery that ran for miles, about a mile behind the mansion I could see some woods and my eyes grew big when I saw two wolves run through it.
Lucan knocked the door and we waited.
- Writer
