All Of The Dead (a necromancer story)

Chapter 8: Death

Esmeralda

When I left Lucan in the office, I made my way to my home and as soon as I was inside I broke down and cried.

I don’t think I had ever cried so hard in my life, I cried so much my throat hurt, my nose became blocked which was something I hadn’t experienced since my human years, my heart felt like it was breaking, the pain was so bad I thought I might actually die.

I stayed on my floor curled in a ball for hours, I didn’t want to eat or sleep or even move. I knew I was being a little overdramatic, we hadn’t even been together that long before I’d died, and he had told me he wasn’t at the being in love with me stage yet, he had always been honest, yet it still hurt because I loved him, it was my first love and on top of that, I was a strong empath so everything hit me hard.

When my phone rang, and I saw his name come up my heart missed a beat, I wanted so badly to answer, to tell him to come here, but I forced myself not to until he called a fourth time then I grew weak and answered.

He asked if we could talk in person and I told him no, but at the end of the phone call when he told me he was mine whether I wanted him or not, and that he would be there if I needed him or chose to go back to him, it did make me feel good that he cared about me so much, and I smiled a little when I said goodbye and hung up.

So to say I didn’t get any sleep would be an understatement, I got to work and saw Lucan and Dana already there messing about, Lucan threw a cup at her head and I tried not to let it bother me that suddenly they were all close again like it didn’t even matter.

I went in and hung my coat up, Lucan spoke to me, but Dana wisely stayed quiet.

When it was lunch break I didn’t know what to do, should I stay or waste time walking around the town, I was still deciding when Lucan came out of his office.

“Hello Esmeralda, do you want to eat lunch with us?” He asked, just like he said he would, he kept it polite and professional, and I didn’t know if that was worse.

“With you and her?” I asked, I couldn’t keep the bitterness out of my voice when I said her, unable to bring myself to say her name right now.

For a moment, he let the formal politeness slide and said, “well, doesn’t have to be, it can be just me and you? We can eat somewhere else as well if you like.”

I nodded yes, and I saw him breathe a sigh of relief, so slight that had I been human I wouldn’t have picked up on it.

I don’t know why I said yes, it was like I wanted nothing to do with him and everything to do with him all at the same time.

We made our way to a little cafe and as we walked I had to control myself because every so often our arms would brush lightly against one another and a shiver of desire came over me, all I wanted to do was grab him and kiss him and never let him go, but I didn’t do any of those things.

We ate mostly in silence and it was so awkward and my fault, he tried to make conversation with me, but I was only giving one-worded answers mostly, it was both because I was still shy around him and more so now after everything and also because I didn’t want to let him think he could just chat and hang out with me like nothing had happened.

During work, Dana tried smiling at me every so often, and I made the mistake of smiling back at one point, she took it as an invitation to come over. “Hey Es, how are you doing?”

“Could be better,” I replied quietly.

Lucan had a client in with him and no one else was here, so she gently took my arm and in a kind of pleading voice said, “come talk in the back with me, please.”

I followed her down to where the kitchen area was, and I’d barely taken a foot inside when she spun around, “Es, I’m so f.ucking sorry for what I did, and it was all my fault, I’m the one who came onto Lucan not the other way around, he had zero interest, so please don’t hate him because of me, I was a selfish b.itch all I cared about was Lucan finding a way to bring you back even if it meant you being alive and hating me. I don’t want Lucan you know that, if I did I would have done something long before you came along, it was all about you Es, I wanted my best friend back, I couldn’t eat or sleep, and I spent hours researching ways to bring you back, but no amount of internet searching was going to give me the answers.”

When I looked at her, she took it as a good sign I was listening and carried on, “Lucan was a mess without you, and he’d tried everything he knew, spoke to every witch he could find, and you know what men are like when they don’t get s****l release,” she rolled her eyes and smiled at that, and I found myself smiling too at the light-hearted comment.

“Well I just kind of got it into my head that maybe if he just had a good orgasm or release or whatever, that it might clear he’s head a bit, I know what it’s like when you’re sexually frustrated and start finding it hard to concentrate on things, I was desperate Es and then that stupid idea got into my head, but I swear I must have been right, or maybe he just needed to not focus so hard and let it come to him? I don’t know, but whatever it was, literally five minutes afterward he came up with the idea that maybe diamond knew more than just William, you know the other necromancer that’s just like Lucan?” I nodded.

“I’m sorry,” she said again.

A big wave of relief washed over me and I felt better hearing everything explained fully, it made a lot more sense coming from Dana.

“Well, you make it sound much better than Lucan did, and you explained in much more detail, it makes more sense.”

“Does that mean we are ok again?” She asked.

I nodded and smiled, and she hugged me hard, “thank f***k, and of course Lucan would do a s.hit job explaining, trying to get anything out of him is like trying to make a stone bleed, he couldn’t communicate if his life depended on it.”

“Well, he did try,” I said and we both laughed.

“So are you going to go get your man?” She said.

“Hm, no not yet, I’m still a little hurt and I feel it’s kind of fair to make him have to chase me a little bit,” I grinned.

“Hell yeah, that’s a great idea I’m going to enjoy watching that, I’ve never seen him chase any girl before but I know he absolutely will chase your a.ss,” she looped her arm through mine as we made our way back out to the reception.

“Wait, do we pretend we still aren’t talking?” I asked her.

“Yes, don’t want him catching on,” she quickly removed her arm from mine and went behind her desk.

It felt good to be talking again, and it felt like a big weight had been lifted from my shoulders with her explanation and I knew I’d finally be able to get some sleep tonight.

When night fell, and we’d finished work, I said a sneaky goodbye to Dana and left before I had to see Lucan, I did want him to chase me just a little to see how much he cared, but if I was completely honest, I still wasn’t over it a hundred percent, while it made more sense to me now it didn’t mean it didn’t still hurt having those images of them in my mind, so I figured a little break would be good for me.

When I got home I ate some takeout seeing as I was now an enchante morte it meant I was hungry for real food. After I’d finished my food, I realized I was still hungry, and it wasn’t the kind of hunger that food would satisfy, I was hungry for blood.

I ignored the feeling of bottomless hunger and thirst and tried to make myself fall asleep.

During the night I was dreaming that I couldn’t breathe, I began to panic, and then I woke up gasping for air, realizing that I hadn’t been breathing in real life, my dream had been a way of my body trying to tell me something was wrong.

I sat up in the dark and then I screamed. Standing at the end of my bed was some black humanoid figure, it was a pure black shadowy figure with no distinct features to it, but somewhere deep down in my soul I knew what this was…death.

“You belong in the realm of the dead,” it had a voice that was neither female nor male and the best way I could describe it was that it sounded like an empty dead void of nothingness, of rot and cold and loneliness.

“No,” was all I could bring myself to say.

“You don’t belong here, you are mine,” it hissed, and I shrank back in terror.

“Please, I was brought back from the dead, but we thought it might be ok as I’m a vampire, technically I don’t belong in the realm of the dead or the living.”

It was quiet for a moment, and then it spoke in that despairing voice, “perhaps you don’t, I know my sons and daughter brought you back, but you also took another, another that does not belong in the world of the living.”

I took a gulp and answered, “she didn’t belong in that horrible place either.”

It moved closer towards me and I pressed my back against the back of the headboard.

“It is not my place to determine where one goes, I simply claim you when your time is up, whatever happens after that is decided by someone else.”

“I don’t know where she is,” I whispered fearfully.

“She uses magic to hide from me, I may have let you live, but two souls brought back from the dead breaks the natural balance of things, I cannot locate her, so I come for you a life for a life.”

My phone started to ring, making me jump and look towards it, by the time I looked back death was gone. I looked back at the phone and saw it was Lucan who had called.

I was too shaken up to call back right now, and I spent the rest of the early hours awake and fretting about what to do, I mean how did you kill death itself? Was that even possible?

When morning came I raced out the door so fast I actually arrived half an hour early to work, so I went and got a hot drink while I waited for Lucan and Dana to arrive.

When I returned to the building, Lucan was already inside and Dana was obviously running late as usual.

I went inside and looking at Lucan my heart melted, he was so beautiful with his honey blonde hair tousled and those incredible almond eyes that were ice blue with flecks of gold running through them and a ring of violet around the rim.

He was sat in one of the waiting chairs and wearing jeans with his black combat boots and a muscle fit blue t-shirt showing off his muscular arms.

He always made me feel so safe, and I couldn’t hold it in anymore, I ran over to him and threw myself onto his lap, forcing him to wrap his arms around me so that we didn’t both fall off the chair.

“Woah, you ok?” He asked.

I sniffled into his shirt and meeting his eyes, said, “I really need you right now.”

He gently stroked my hair from my face and murmured, “I told you I’m right here,” he leaned in and kissed my cheek.

Pulling away I waved my hands, “oh no, I didn’t mean like that I’m still not ready yet, I’m sorry.”

He cleared his throat and gave a soft laugh, “oh, right, sorry that was awkward.”

Growing more serious, he asked, “what do you need me for?”

I cuddled into him and whispered, afraid that death might hear me when I said its name.

“Death came to me last night, it wants me back.”

He pulled me away from him to look me in the eyes, “what? What the f***k are you talking about?”

“It said that it might have let me live as I’m neither part of the realm of the living or the dead, but because I brought back another soul, and it can’t find her it wants me, a life for a life to keep things in balance or something.”

“Well, you’re definitely not going back home alone tonight,” he said.