There Were all The Signs

3. Weekend Getaway

Sam

Miller: So where did you run off to? I didn't get to say goodbye.

Sam: Well it was your wedding night. You were busy and probably didn't notice my exit. I didn't want to bother you. But I am so happy for you.

It was three days after the wedding and Miller was contacting me finally to yell at me for my disappearing act at his wedding. Since I hadn't heard from him right away I was thinking I might escape from getting read my rights.

Miller: You could have still said good bye. It's been five years. I would have liked to actually talk to you in person longer.

Sam: I know, me too. But your wedding didn't seem like the place to play catch up.

Miller: Well are you at least coming this weekend?

Sam: Yes, of course.

This weekend Miller was having his going away party. Come Monday he would start his pre-deployment training and then from training he will be going directly to his deployment so it will be the last time we get to say our goodbyes. I will admit I am scared to death. When Miller told me he was joining the Air Force at eighteen I was thrilled that he found the career path he wanted but I always dreaded the day this would happen. We are actually lucky that it took two years before they deployed him. Sometimes I wonder if the deployment assignment is why he rushed into marriage.

Miller: Thank you. It wouldn't be the same without you. Now that we are adults we have to make more time to visit. It was understandable when we were kids and all we had to rely on was our parents getting us places. The whole gang will be here it will be nice to catch up. I haven't seen John and Kurt in as long as I have seen you.

Sam: Oh God, I don't think I have seen them since we were thirteen. This will be embarrassing. I think the last time I saw them I kissed them both.

Miller: Oh right that was the night we played spin the bottle.

Sam: Yeah and John tasted like cheese poofs.

Miller: Thanks for the vivid details on the taste of John's tongue, I really needed to have those thoughts in my head.

Sam: What about you did any of the girls taste funny? If I remember correctly you kissed both girls. I don't even know their names, or why they came.

Miller: Well if they wouldn't have been there then it would have just been you kissing three guys over and over.

Sam: I like how you just avoided the question.

Miller: haha, I don't remember their names and I don't remember anything special or weird about the kisses.

Sam: Hey I gotta hop off, I am heading in to talk to my editor. I'll be there Friday night.

Miller: I can't wait.

Sam: Oh and one more thing, this makes two in my box of visits, so you are going to have to do the next one.

Miller: Promise. When I get back in six months, Brittany and I will make the trip to see you. Bye Sam

Sam: Bye Miller.

I stare at my computer screen and read our conversation over and over. I am heading to see my editor but our meeting isn't for another hour. I had to get off after the discussion of our thirteen year old game of spin the bottle. It was seven long years ago but I still remembered it vively. The part I remembered the most was the feel of my best friend's lips on mine. I think that was when I first started looking at him differently. The problem was I was friend zoned. We both had our "boyfriends/girlfriends" whatever that means at that age, but I was the friend who acted like a boy. Who would want to date me? But the way we kissed made me think he felt it too.

I guess that wasn't something special to him though. That is what he just said. I didn't want to bring up that we kissed that night too and I thought it was special I wanted to see if he would remember. But I guess he didn't. Oh well it was a long time ago and he is married now so I need to just move on. It was already Tuesday and my flight is early Friday so I only have a few days to get everything ready for my weekend trip.

I will be staying with my friend, Sarah Murphy, out in Texas while I am there. Fortunately she knows all about the Miller and Sam saga and hopefully she will keep me in line. I need to make sure I don't make a fool of myself in front of him and his new bride.

It has been easy the past five years because we haven't been face to face. We have kept in touch through IM, text, emails and social media, with the occasional phone calls. Yes we have flirted on and off but in friendly banter. It is so much harder though looking at his handsome face, and it's deadly having him touch me. I felt it even as a kid, when he was near me there was a spark. My stomach would feel like not just butterflies but other insects were in me fluttering around and making it hard to breath. I was far too young to feel that way but I did.

One night we were on the couch with two girlfriends of mine. Miller was the only boy but we rented a couple of movies and all our parents had gone out for the night. We started off watching Stigmata which I ended up loving, (remember tomboy of course I would love a horror movie) then we watched my friend Sarah's pick. It was some chick flick, I can't even remember the name of it. But I remember at one point the person did an introduction of their name and she said I am Samantha Smith. My heart skipped a beat and I felt my face turn red as I glanced over at Miller. To my surprise he was looking at me too.

I smiled at him and he smiled back but then I heard Sarah say, "That's so funny, that would be Sam's name if she married Miller." Leave it to Sarah to say exactly what I was thinking out loud and embarrass me more.

Sarah's older sister hit her, to let her know she should shut it and I stood up and said, "I'll get us some more popcorn. Anyone want anything else while I am in the kitchen?"

"I'll help you," Miller said.

We went into the kitchen and I stuck another bag of popcorn into the microwave and turned it on. Miller pulled some sodas out of the fridge. We were working around each other in perfect harmony, we were used to this, this was every weekend for us. We didn't have to talk, fill the silence, we were comfortable with each other. But at one point I felt his hand skim mine and then his fingers locked with mine and he squeezed. I felt it. The alive things in my stomach, fluttering around and making me light headed.

I looked up at him and smiled and he smiled back at me. It was our second sign.

I got to get out of my head. I don't ever remember reminiscing this much before. I know it has to do with Miller getting married. I just never expected it to happen and I definitely never thought it would happen so young or to someone who isn't me.

It was now time for that meeting.

***

It had been a long day. My editor was brutal on this new romance novel I wrote. I am the youngest person she represents and sometimes I think she believes I am not knowledgable enough to be writing about love. I will admit this last book hasn't been going well. I have been in a relationship rut, as in I haven't been on a date in a year and I haven't been intimate in...wow two years.

When I got back from this weekend away I have to get on these revisions. I need to hunker down in a room away from everyone else and just write until I have finished, no breaks. Honestly that is probably why I am in this rut. I wrote my first book at eighteen. My first year in college, in my creative writing class. My advisor read it and was in tears. She told me she couldn't put it down and she sent it to her publishing friend. After it was published it went to number one. I became famous overnight to people who loved to read.

After that I ended up going to school part time and took more time to write. It became my passion and it also gave me little to no time for outside interactions. I would write and go to class and that was it. I realize now the last relationship I was in was with Jason in my freshman year of college, right before I was published. I can't even recall why we stopped seeing each other but I can assume it is because of me.

After Jason, I had one passionate night on my nineteenth birthday. Since then I haven't had s*x and now that we are a week away from my twenty first birthday, I am realizing that maybe before I dig into this book I need to have a night of passion. Get those creative juices flowing. I will be in Texas this weekend and no one there knows me well. Maybe I can meet a handsome stranger who will sweep me off my feet.

I walk into my front door and lay down my purse and mail on the entry table and then play the answering machine. There are a few messages from telemarketers and one message from my Aunt. And then I hear a voice that makes my heart flutter.

"Hey Sam, make sure you send me your flight information for Friday. I will come pick you up. I am assuming you are staying with Sarah so why don't you have her come to my place and join us for dinner. Oh and although you looked stunning the other night make sure you bring some clothes that you aren't afraid to get dirty in. We will be having a picnic for my party, you know what that means. See you in a few days, Love you.

I can't help smiling. I really do miss spending time with Miller. This weekend will be great and I am looking forward to getting to know Brittany better.

I start a load of laundry and put dinner in the oven. I made a casserole Sunday night so I could heat it up for dinner tonight. Once dinner is ready my second load of laundry is in and I take my dinner and a glass of wine to the couch and sit to watch Friends. It may be cliche' but it is my lighthearted joy to watch. I laugh along with the cast. After three episodes I clean up the dishes, wipe down my counters and change over the laundry. I fill my glass with wine and head off to my room to take a long hot bath.

Laying in bubbles and bath oils that smell like gardenia, I drift off a bit and my dream mind takes over my logical thoughts. I am looking at a wedding, actually it looks just like the wedding I was just at on Saturday. I watch the bride walk towards the groom. I look at the groom and it is Miller. The bride gets to the front and joins the groom and they are smiling at each other. When they are asked if they take each other the bride responds with "I Do," then the groom turns and looks straight at me saying, "I can't I am in love with Sam."

My eyes fly open and my heart sinks. I get that panicked feeling you get when you doze off at the wheel of your car and wake in complete panic. Maybe it wasn't such a great idea to watch Ross say Rachel's name at the altar instead of Emily's. Friends entered my subconscious mind and is making me imagine unrealistic events. I got to get over this, I haven't thought of Miller in this way in years.

That night I took some sleep medicine to insure that my dreams don't take on the same theme they have since the wedding. I was done dreaming about our signs.

****

I just got off the plane in Dallas and am getting my bags from the carousel when I hear someone shout out my name. I turn around and see Miller and Marcus heading towards me. They look a lot more a like then I first noticed.

"Hey guys, just waiting on my bag and then I will be ready to roll."

Miller reaches me and picks me up in a bear hug. "Now this girl looks familiar!" He gave me a kiss on the forehead and sat me back down. I am wearing blue yoga pants with stripes that are see through and a white racerback tank and flip flops. I hate shoes and unfortunately living in New York I never get to wear flip flops like I did growing up in Georgia.

I give Miller a smile and then turn to Marcus to greet him. He picks me up in a bear hug too. "Hey beautiful. You ran out on me Saturday without saying goodbye," he whispers in my ear.

"Sorry about that," I whisper back.

"It's ok but you owe me that good night kiss I had my hopes up for," he says smiling at me wickedly. He puts me back down and gives me a quick kiss on the mouth. I wasn't ready for it but it wasn't unpleasant either.

"You sneaky devil," I laughed.

I turned to see what Miller thought but he was heading back towards us with my suitcase. I guess he missed the kiss, which was good.

"How did you know that one was mine?"

"Well besides the barcode with your name on it, I know you."

I smiled brightly. My suitcase is noticeable. It is my favorite teal/Tiffany Blue color, hard case shell but instead of leaving it a plain color I have stickers of every city and country I have visited stuck all over it. It was always my dream growing up to travel.

"Well I think we are all set let's hit the road, we got an hour drive," Miller said taking the lead with my suitcase in tow.

Marcus stays behind and takes my arm in his, escorting me behind Miller.

"I am happy I get to see you again. I really was devastated when my date left without a word."

"I wasn't your date."

"Ahh, but you were. Even though we met just that night you were most definitely my date. I bought you drinks, I danced with you, I was a perfect gentleman. And you left without fulfilling your promise of telling me what you do with men now."

I couldn't help but laugh. Miller's cousin was definitely a charmer. "If I told you I might have to kill you."

"Well now I am even more intrigued. Are you staying at Miller's family cabin with the rest of us?"

"No I am actually staying with my friend."

"Well that is unfortunate. I will miss you."

"You don't even know me to miss me."

"That's what is so crazy, I miss you without knowing you," he whispered in my ear. I could feel goosebumps raise up my back. These Smith boys are unreal.

"Hey Sam, is Sarah coming tonight?" Miller asked from up ahead.

"Yeah she will be there." She has to be. She is my safety net.

"Perfect. I want her and Marcus to meet. I think they will hit it off."

I look towards Marcus and a huge smile spreads across my face. "You know what I think you are right. I could see them being an item." I was giggling, I couldn't contain myself because Marcus was looking at me with a dumbfound look and his mouth hanging open.

His look turned mischievous when he realized I was making fun. "You know you keep smiling like that and I might want to make you and I an item."

I stopped giggling and took in a sharp breath, seriously these Smith boys.

"That's right beautiful, you don't even realize how enchanting you are. I bet boys get their heartbroken daily by you."

"That's where you are wrong slick, no one wants a girl like me. I am too intimating to boys."

"Well maybe it is just because you need to stop messing around with boys and get yourself a man."

"Oh and you think of yourself as a man?"

"Sweetie, I would show you if you would just let me."

"What are the two of you talking about back there," Miller asked looking back at us. We had slowed our pace down while having this conversation and didn't realize that Miller had pulled so far ahead. I looked at him and I knew my face had to be scarlet. I have never had someone talk to me the way that Marcus was, like I was something special, attractive, wanted. It was heady.

"I was just giving him the scoop on Sarah," I lied.

"You don't want your best friend to know that I am attracted to you?" Marcus whispered to me once Miller turned around and started for the parking lot.

"Do you want your cousin to know what depraved thoughts you are having about his best friend?"

"Hmm, I don't know. If he thinks of you like a sister he might want to kick my ass."

"Exactly!"