There Were all The Signs

9. Goodbyes

Sam

    It was the last night of my trip. After lunch we came back to the cabin and I everyone was ready to do something. I decided I needed a break from everyone and said I needed to take a nap. I hadn't plan on actually doing it just getting away. Once in my room I worked a little on the outline for my new book and then laid in bed and closed my eyes for a second.

    "Sam, wake up."

    "Hmm."

    "Come on it is dinner time. You already made me spend the whole day with all those bitches while you made your escape up here to bliss out."

    My eyes snapped open. Wait, it's dinner time? That means I have been asleep for over two hours. I guess a good drill session would make anyone tired but I was not planning on sleeping all afternoon.

    "I am sorry Sarah. It wasn't my intention to sleep I just needed to get away from the drama for a bit."

    "I get that but you gotta come out and show your face now, or there will just be more drama. It was all I could do to keep Marcus from coming up here to check on you."

    "s**t, I kinda ghosted him."

    "Maybe a little," she said with a smile.

    She turned around and left the room so I could fix myself up. I don't have much time so I slap on a yellow flower summer dress and washed my face. That will have to do. Slipping on my shoes I slip out of the door and down the stairs. Again I find Marcus and John, as well as Sarah this time, waiting for me.

    "Hello gorgeous ready?" Sarah asked.

    "It will have to do. I rushed but I really don't care what anyone thinks. Let's go."

    We all head out the back door because tonight we are eating here. Sarah and John are walking ahead of us and Marcus grabs my arm to hold me back.

    "I think you looking absolutely beautiful. Even though you don't care about anyones opinion I wanted to share mine. When do you leave tomorrow?"

    "My flight takes off at eight in the morning."

    "Is there any chance you would be willing to stay another day and come with me?"

    "I can't I have to get back to work. I am already behind and my editor is going to be pissed."

    "What if you told her you were going to stay here and take the scenery in and get some work done. I have to go back to work as well but my house is quiet and in the middle of the woods I am sure the peace could help over the busy city."

    "I am sure that would help me. But I have to go back, my editor tried to get me to stay as it was."

    "Well if that is the case can I come there? I want to see you some more, this can not be the end."

    "I would love for you to come visit me whenever you have the time."

    "Ok good," he smiles and pulls me until I am pressed against him and then he lowers his mouth to capture me in a sweet and passionate kiss. "I thought you might be trying to get rid of me."

    I just smile and grab his shirt collar bringing his lips back to mine and taking the dominate position and ravishing his mouth. I skim my tongue across his lips and he opens up giving me access, I pull away, biting his lower lip and pulling it as well. He lets out a deep groan from his chest. 

    "Let's get out there before people come looking for us."

Miller

    It is Saturday. I leave Monday morning for training and tomorrow all these people that gathered here this weekend to..I don't know celebrate..me.. will be leaving and it will just be Brittany, my parents and I. I have enjoyed this weekend with my friends and family but it is a bitter sweet feeling. I am sitting over by the fire alone with a beer.

    "Hey baby, what you worrying about over here?" Brittany asked.

    "What makes you say I am worrying?"

    "Come on baby I can read you like a book. You got a little cross between your eyebrows, it is your tell that something is bothering you," she says touching the spot between my brow. I grab her hand and pull her to sit on my lap. I bury my nose in her neck and sniff.

    "I am just realizing that this weekend has come and gone and now the day I have to leave is right around the corner. I only have one more day with you and then I won't see you again for six months."

    Brittany grabs my face and turns me to meet her eye to eye. She rests her forehead on mine and takes a deep breath. "We knew this day was coming babe. I know it is hard, it is hard for me too but there is no changing it. Why should we worry about the things that we can not change? Just enjoy the night with your friends because tomorrow it's just you and me," she plants a kiss on my lips and then gets up and takes off.

    She is right I have known for a long time this day was coming and now that it is here I need to grab the moment by the balls. What no one else seems to want to say is this could be my last time with my loved ones. No one ever wants to think it but there is a possibility I won't come back from war alive. I think overall that is what I am scared of, not of dying but how all these people will survive without me. I could ruin all of their lives.

    "Dinner is ready. You all come grab plates," mom yells across the back yard. 

    A few minutes later we are all sitting around the backyard table digging into food. There is light chatter and everything is calm. John, Marcus, Sarah and Sam all come out of the house and join us. Sarah is all over John like she was at lunch. Sam and Marcus on the other hand are being more discreet as to what they did last night. I don't think anyone else knows but me.

    I stand up and clink my water glass with a fork to get everyones attention.

    "I just wanted to say a few words. Thank you all for coming out here this weekend to bid me farewell. Looking around at you all I realize how lucky I am, how full of love my life is. I also want to ask my friends to look in on my family while I am away. My loving bride, although she has her own family and friends, may need some help around our house or support during the time I am away. I just don't want you guys to become strangers. Mom and Dad, you raised me to be strong but also you raised me to see emotion is not a weakness. I love you all and thank you for giving me a great life. Now I propose a toast to great friendships and then I would like to spend a little time with each of you individually so I can say proper goodbyes since you will all be taking off tomorrow. Cheers!"

    "Cheers!" Everyone sang.

    An hour had past and I had made it through all of Brittany's friends and a few of mine.

    "Hey babe, I am going to head off to bed. Finish up your goodbyes and then come join me," Brittany said getting on her tip toes and giving me a kiss. I kiss her back and tell her goodbye. Another hour pasted and all that was left was Sam and Marcus. They sat in the background talking while I made my way to them.

    "Hey Marcus, let's go talk."

    He gets up and kisses Sam's hand and follows me over to two chairs in the yard.

    "I can't believe it's time already."

    "You and me both. Look Marcus you have been my rock my whole childhood. I have always looked up to you and you have lead me to grow into the great man I believe I am today. I am really going to miss you."

    "I am going to miss you too. I need you to promise that you will try your best to be safe over there. Don't go taking any unnecessary risk trying to be a hero. I know you, you have the biggest heart I know but remember you have people to come home to as well."

    "I promise. And will you make a promise to me too?"

    "Of course anything in my power."

    "Well two promises. You live the closest to Brittany and my parents will you promise to check in on them. I will try to call them as often as I can and tell them how I am so you can pretend you are just stoping in for updates and they won't think I gave you the task to check in."

    "Of course I will. And the other one?"

    "Take care of Sam. She seems tough on the outside but there are a lot of things that she is good at burying. She has created a life where she does not need a guy to take care of her but it doesn't mean that she doesn't deserve a man to."    

    "That is the easiest promise I will ever make."

    We spend another twenty minutes reminiscing about childhood and laughing over old jokes and then I give him a hug and we head back over to Sam.

    "Last but not least," I say sticking my arm out for her so I can lead us to our seats across from the fire.

    "Mr. Miller Smith, you have sure made me wait far too long. It is almost midnight and I have a very early flight."

    "Beg your pardon ma'am, but I wanted to be able to talk to you without any interruptions. I love you Sam. I have been missing your smiling face for far too long. Promise me that when I get back we will spend more time together like old times."

    "I don't know if that is something I can promise you Miller."

    "And why is that?"

    "I can promise that I will make the effort to see you more but I don't think I can promise that it will ever be like old times. I love you too but we aren't those two kids anymore. You are married now and in those old times as much as you were my friend you were also always something more to me. We both know this. I promise to be your friend and your number one or two supporter. I think that top spot has been taken by someone else."

    "Yeah, you're right. But maybe when I get back you and Marcus can join Brittany and I on a date?" I look up and smiled at her. She looks shocked.

    "How did you know?"

    "Marcus and I had a talk and he told me his feelings for you. I have to say Sam I was surprised but there is no better guy out there and you are the best girl I know so you two have to be perfect for each other. I made him promise me some things and I need you to promise that you will be careful with him too. He looks tough but he's been burnt by girls in the past. When he gives his heart he gives it all."

    "Honestly it's new and I don't know how I feel but I will always be open with him and honest so I promise to do my part and keep me from hurting each of us. And you promise me that you will do everything in your power to come back to us all."

    "That's the plan."

    "Good don't change it."

    "So tell me, what do you think about Brittany?"

    "Wow put me on the spot why don't you. Well I don't know her that well. She is stunning and she seems to make you happy."

    "Come on that's all you got. You just spent the weekend together and yesterday you spent the whole day with her," I say laughing at her.

    "Well I didn't really hang out with her this weekend and yesterday she was surrounded by her friends the whole day. I think she must be a great girl or you wouldn't have married her. What is your favorite thing about her?"

    I don't know why it is so hard to answer this question. What do I love most about her?

    "If I had to pick one thing, the thing that stood out to me the most is her confidence. She is never unsure of herself. I find that refreshing and sexy."

    "I wish you a long and happy marriage Miller. You deserve it," she smiles at me.

    Taking her hands I squeeze them and give her a smile back. "You deserve the world. I am proud of who you have become. Who knew two crazy kids would grow up and be us?"

    "Yeah it doesn't even seem that long ago but at the same time I can't wrap my head around us being that age once. It might be wrong to think this way but do you ever think things would be different if you hadn't moved away? Or do you ever wish to go back and change anything?"

    "I am a firm believer everything happens for a reason, so no, I don't think that way."

    "Yeah me too, but I have to say I still have thought about it."

    "And what was it that you saw?"

    "Oh that's not important because it isn't possible. We are where we are and you moved away and that can't be changed no matter how much I wish you hadn't and no matter how much I missed you. I am going to miss you again. You would think by now I would be used to missing you but I am sick of it," she says with a humorless laugh.

    I lift her hands and kiss them. "I hate missing you too. Even though we live 1700 miles away from each other I promise when I am back we will make the distance less of a hinderance."

    "Ok now I think it is time for me to go to bed. I have to be up in a few hours."

    "How are you getting to the airport in the morning?"

    "Marcus offered to take me."

    "Ok let me walk you to your room."

    We walk in silence and once we reach her door she turns to me and throws her arms around my neck.

    "Love you Miller. Write me if you get bored."

    "Love you too Sam. Write me too," I give her a quick kiss on the lips and then let her go and head to my room. When I open the door I see Brittany sound asleep. Now that I am basically alone I feel the emotions well up inside of me. I lied, there are numerous times I dreamt what my life would have been like if my parents never moved me out of Georgia and in every dream Sam and I were together.