There Were all The Signs

11. War

Miller

3 Months Later

    I have been on deployment for four months now. The first week was the hardest, but it is shocking even in the most dangerous situations your body and mind make it almost normal. I was out on many missions, went days without bathing and limited food and slept in villages in the dirt with my brothers. 

    I saw death and that was hard to wrap my mind around but what was harder was I created death. I took peoples lives, to save my own, to save the helpless who can't defend themselves. The mind is a powerful thing and it helped me block the images on most nights, and it helped make me harder. I don't like knowing that war changed me but I know it has. There is no way it couldn't.

    The thing that saved my sanity and helped keep me remembering that my life won't be like this forever is the letters I get from my friends, the care packages from my family and the sporadic phone calls I get to make to Brittany. It is crazy that being in another world has made me feel even closer to her. I don't get access to the satellite phone often, I am not on base that ofter but when I do she is the one I call. I ask her to give my updates to my family for me. I know my parents watch the news and I know not everything they report is true but hearing your son's base was bombed would freak any parent out.

    The last time I spoke to Brittany was about two weeks ago. I was outside because the phones don't work well inside the barracks. I was telling her about my last mission when all of a sudden we started taking a mortar attack.

    "What's that noise?"

    "Oh shit...hold on?"

    "Miller what was that? Miller? f*****g answer me!"

    "Babe can you hear me?"

    "Miller what the f**k is happening?"

    "They just started hitting the base with mortars. They were flying over my head, I am under a humvee right now. Listen babe I am sorry I have to cut this short but I can't talk right now. I love you."

    I hung up. I am sure that she has been scared to death since that. The people back home see and hear about what is happening over here and while they feel awful about it they will never comprehend what really happens. What real fear is. Our coms went down after that attack, there were many families that had to be notified of deaths so we went black. I was able to sneak in one quick call to my wife to tell her I was alive and asked her to let my parents know. She was upset that I couldn't stay on the phone longer but said she understood.

    That was two weeks ago and they finally opened communications back up. I have two months left here and I can finally go home. I just returned from chow hall and as I passed my bunk mates they handed me the satellite phone. It is finally my turn to call my loved ones. This time I went into the barracks where I was alone. Everyone was either at PT or they were at chow. I dial Brittany's number and she answered on the second ring. 

    "Hello?"

    "Man it is good to hear your voice."

    "Miller?"

    "I miss you so much."

    "I miss you too. It has been too long since I talked to you. Is everything ok? Are you safe?"

    How do you explain to a civilian that you are never really safe here? You don't.

    "Yes baby I am safe."

    "Have you got my emails?"

    "Yes I did. I really liked the pictures, especially the one with you in the red. I really liked the video. Tell me do you touch yourself like that every night?"

    "Well my husband did leave me alone and I find that I am needy. Are you alone? Can we play? We haven't in so long."

    "I am alone but we have to be quick, someone could come back at any time. Are you alone? What do you have on?"

    "Oh I am alone in our house. I am in the kitchen and I have on a yellow sundress but I forgot to put panties on. I can feel my wet p***y. Just hearing your voice has me dripping."

    A groan lifts from my chest and comes out my mouth. I am instantly hard. The last time we had phone s*x was about two weeks into my deployment and since then with life being so crazy I haven't had relief. It's been months, the longest I have ever gone. I unbuckle my belt and release my self from my uniform pants and give myself a hard tug hissing. There isn't many opportunities to be alone here.

    "I want you to sit on the dining room table and plant your feet on the table, spread your legs out wide so that pretty pink p***y is on display."    

    "All spread out for you. The cold air feels good on my hot wetness. Are you holding your hard c**k?"

    "Put those beautiful fingers on that p***y for me. I need to hear you as I stroke this rod. God I want to taste you right now."

    "Ahhh, oh I am so wet. Umm, it taste good baby, you are missing out."

    I see the visual in my mind, My wife spread out her fingers lapping up her wetness and her hand coming up to meet her waiting tongue so she can lick the juices off. My hand pumps faster. Two more months and I will be burying my face in that p***y, suffocating in the intoxicating juices and then I will slam into her. The visuals and lack of touch for so long has got me teetering over the edge. I moan and feel my muscles start to tense up.

    "f**k yourself baby and scream my name," I say through clenched teeth.

    "Oh! Miller. I am sick of touching myself baby I need you inside me, deep, I need you to touch that spot I can't reach. I am so wet."

    "Baby close your eyes picture me eating that sweet p***y. Hold your vibrator on that c**t, imagine it's my tongue. I want you to c*m all over my face. Make it messy baby I want it."

    I hear the vibrations start and her short breaths, panting she is getting close. "f**k, Miller, right there lick that pussy."

    "Um you taste so good baby, c*m on my face, I want to taste all that sweet cream."

    "Oh GOD! I am squirting all over the table."

    That is the imagine that makes me shoot my load on the barracks floor. I never realized how much I like phone s*x. I don't get to spend too much time blissing out. I tuck myself back in and wipe up my mess, it's a lot, it's been too long. 

    "You ok babe?"

    "I have a mess to clean up but my legs don't work. When you get home I demand we do that in real life."

    "Deal. I love you Brittany. I am so sorry that I can't be there right now with you."

    "I love you too babe."

    "Hey Smith, you done with that phone? I need to call my kids," says one of the soldiers that share the barracks with me.

    "Brittany I gotta go babe, I will call again as soon as I can ok?"

    "Ok," she replies sounding defeated. I know this has to be hard on her but it is hard on me too.

    "Love you, bye." I say disconnecting and giving the phone over to the next person.

**

    A week later I try to call her again before I head out for a two week mission. I won't have any way to contact her until I return. This is the first time I ever called and she didn't answer.

    "Hey sweetheart, I wanted to give you a call and talk for a few. I am heading out on a mission tonight and I will be away for two weeks. I hate these missions, and I hate being away from you. I love you so much baby and when I get back from these two weeks we will be down to only one more month apart. I can't wait to hold you. Dream of me."

    I didn't like the fact that I was going on this mission without talking to her, it didn't sit right with me but I didn't have the time to think about it. That's the thing over here there isn't much time for thinking just acting. 

    By night fall it was time to head out and we were all carrying nearly 100lbs on our backs. We were getting on a MC-130W plane that would travel past the location we needed to be and they would use touch and go to land and unload us, taking off prior to drawling any attention. This is the third mission I have worked with the plane. 

    It takes forty five minutes to get us where we need to be. The leader of the operation tells us to all stand and be ready to unload. The plane plummets down and then the back shoot opens and we are all leaping out, tucking and rolling. There are about thirty of us on this mission and I don't know a majority of them but there are people from all over the world here. 

    We end up taking shelter in an old farm. The animals were no longer around and it seems like the people were long gone as well. The smell was something awful but we are lucky to find any sort of shelter. You wouldn't think in the desert it would get cold but when you are accustomed to 115 degree weather and then at night it's 90 degrees it feels like the air is freezing. The lack of structures and trees don't help break the wind as it tries to rip your face off. 

    My barracks roomie Stgt. Roth and I try to pull a Forest Gump and Bubba moment and sleep back to back so we don't lay our heads in the unclean pen we ended up sharing. Although I have found it easy to fall asleep anywhere the past couple months, this position just wasn't cutting it. We both get out sleeping bags and hide our entire bodies in them, crouching down to fit. Each of us still holding our rifles just in case.

    The next morning we are up before the sun and our heavy sacks are back on our backs. We start our march to the village about ten miles away. We were given intel that they are creating weapons and IED's there that are being used to blow up our men and tanks on the roads. Our operation relies on us getting in there, getting rid of the bad guy and blowing up all their weapons.

    It feels like it takes us all day to get there, the heat and the weight on our backs make the job especially strenuous but we finally see the village up ahead. I see a few teenage kids outside the walls of the village playing soccer. We halt off to the side out of view. 

    "Alright we are going to split into six teams of five. We will surround the village and look for all entry and exit points. Once we have concluded those we will move into the next step," the Marine in charge barked out. 

    We all split up and move out to surround the village. I hear the com a few minutes later where each team notes their points of entry. Although there only seems to be one gate entry at the road front there are breaks in the fence line that we can get in and out of, just not as fast as we may require.

    We also take note of the people we see, how many men, how many women, how many children, ages, any noticeable conditions, any activities they seem to be doing. We do this for five hours. We then take leave walking back a different way to the farm ten miles away. We do this for four days. It's called recon and we needed to know if what we thought was happening was actually taking place. We could have just walked in and looked for the weapons but that could have ended in a blood bath with many of us dead. 

    Recon gave us the information we needed, they were making weapons. We knew where in the compound they were doing it and we knew who was involved. We also knew there were no children and only a handful of women on the compound. Our leaders also linked at least one of the main perpurtators to the Taliban. We also knew their routines. How many came in, how many left and everything in between. By the fifth day we were ready to make our move.

    At 0900 their "leader" would arrive and the men who made the weapons would lead him to the room where the weapons are made and they would help him carry and load product into the back of his vehicle. So we laid in waiting for this to take place. One group of our team set up C4 earlier on the outside of the room they use and we all pulled back from the blast sight. Once we saw the men enter the back room we blew it. 

    Once the building blew it was all a blur. We stormed in to make sure that the culprits and the weapons were destroyed. We got out any of the women we felt were being held there against their will but some of them tried to fight us. One of our teammates was gunned down by a wife. Most of us make it out unscathed as far as or bodies go but we again have to battle what this is doing to our minds. 

***

    When I make it back to base the first thing I do is try to call Brittany again. Again I don't get an answer. I am starting to worry because she has never not answered. So I call Marcus.

    "Hello?"

    "Hey man. How are you doing?"

    "Well I am doing excellent now. It's so good to hear your voice man."

    "You too. I just got back from a two week mission and I haven't been able to get ahold of Brittany. Have you seen her recently?"

    "I haven't seen her in about a month. I know your parents went over there last weekend to have dinner with her. The week before that I called her to check in because she wasn't home when I stopped by. She seems to be doing fine, keeping busy if anything."

    "Would you mind going by today? She hasn't ever missed my calls and I haven't heard from her in two weeks now. I know I am being paranoid but it would really give me peace of mind. I have to give the phone over to the next person so can you just shoot me an email."

    "Yeah I am going to be leaving for a trip here in a few hours I will go ahead and head out now and stop in for an hour to check on her."

    "Thanks man."

    "No problem cuz, I will see you soon."

    We said our goodbyes and I handed the phone off. The next task on my list now that I am back at base is to shower, I smelled ripe, having lived two weeks with no baths. When I return to my room after I throw on some PT clothes so I can lounge and be comfortable. All though I am on standby since I just got back from mission it wasn't likely that I would have to go back out tonight. 

    There is a pile of mail on my cot from the two weeks I have been gone. Nothing from Brittany but there was a card from my parents telling me they can't wait to see me next month an John sent me a big envelope with a Playboy in it. And at the bottom of a pile was a letter from Sam.

    Dear Miller,

    Although I know your time their has been hard I hope you are holding it together. I will never understand the bravery and sacrifice that you are enduring right now. I am sorry that I haven't wrote to you more often but I am still on the last leg of my book tour. Good news though my tour ends in Dallas a few days after you get back from your deployment, so I get to put another tally in my count for my visits to you.

    I also saved you my first copy of my book. I signed it as well and that is your welcome home present. Sorry if I ruined the surprise. I really hope you like it. I have been helping Marcus keep tabs on your parents. I call them once a week and we talk about the weather and what's going on with them and of course we talk about you. I have heard more from Marcus about what you have been up to but it seems like most of that information isn't making it to your parents. I believe that is probably a good thing or they would go crazy.

    Marcus and I are planning a trip to Disney while you are on leave and want you and Brittany to join us. I hope during your times of struggle there you find some time to look forward to the good things coming with your return home and you get to still experience some joy and happiness. I love you Miller, take care and I can't wait to see you next month.

    All My Love

    Sam Preston

    It must be getting pretty serious with Marcus and Sam for them to be making plans more than a month out. In the past couple letters I have received from the two of them I knew that they started a relationship and I know that Marcus is in love with her. Sometimes my best friend is a little more difficult to read. I can definitely tell she likes him but I am not sure if she has made it to love yet. Disney...

    When I was fifteen I came back to visit Sam in Georgia with my family. We moved away the year before but came back over summer holiday. Sam and I went to Disney and road all the rides, no matter how long the waits were. We stopped and got Mickey Mouse ear ice creams and we held hands walking around the park. We often held hands, both of us enjoying it but we never talked about what it meant. It was just as if it was normal.

    An older couple were in front of us wearing Mickey and Minnie ears. The woman's ears were Minnie and was with with a veil and the man's was Mickey with a tuxedo top hat.

    "Look how cute their ears are," Sam said adoringly.

    The lady turned around and smiled at us.

    "Did you just get married?" I asked the couple.

    "No we are here celebrating our twenty fifth wedding anniversary," the woman says smiling at us and then looking at there husband with so much love I felt my heart skip a beat. I want a love like that.

    The man looks at Sam and I holding hands and asks, "what about the two of you? Are you newly weds?"

    Sam and I looked at each other and smiled. I gave her hand a squeeze and she said, "No we are too young for that we are still in high school."

    The couple smiled at us and then held hands and continued on their way.

    "Well when I get married on my twenty fifth wedding anniversary I will have to come back here now. Got to pass that same conversation onto another young couple," she says smiling endearingly. 

    Is it a sign that I was thinking the same exact thing.

    I snap out of my memories. I doubt there is any hidden meaning for a Disney trip. There is no way the two of them are ready to marry each other. They hardly know one another. It has only been five and a half months. But then again I proposed to Brittany in less time. BRITTANY!

    I go and get on the computer and pull up my email there is one from Marcus waiting in my inbox. I open it and it says:

    I AM SO SORRY! I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS BUT IF IT WERE ME I WOULD WANT TO KNOW.

MARCUS

I am confused but there is a video clip below. I open it up and the screen is a little fuzzy, there is a door taking up half the screen. But the other half of the screen I can see a room, it's a bedroom. Little by little it starts to look familiar and then I hear it. 

    "OH f**k, Yes! Oh God your c**k is so big. f**k me harder. You like f*****g married women in their husbands beds?"

    My heart rate picks up and I feel sick to my stomach. That's my room, that's Brittany's voice, but it must be a mistake, she is just m**********g, role playing. She wouldn't cheat on me. Then on screen I see the door open a little more silently and I see my wife on our bed on all fours and a big muscular man behind her. Both are naked and he is drilling her from behind. The image is very detailed, I can see his c**k disappearing between her legs and he slaps her ass and she is going crazy for it. 

    "f**k, you dirty f*****g slut. You like my big c**k buried in that tight little p***y? I am going to make you c*m like your husband never has."

    I instantly felt psychical pain in my chest, I felt my heart break. I felt the tears running down my face and my stomach turn in knots. I didn't want to see this but at the same time I couldn't stop watching.

    "Your c**k is so much bigger than I have ever had. You are going to stretch me out I won't be able to feel my husband anymore. Tear that p***y up, wreck it. I am going to c*m all over that hard cock."

    The same thing I loved about her, her sexy unfiltered mouth is the undoing of my ego. War started to break me but this, this ruined me the rest of the way. The video cut off soon after and I was happy it did because I couldn't take much more but at the same time I wanted to see what else was said, I wanted to see the level of intimacy she gave this man. I was already broken, we were broken, though her words fractured more of me each time she talked there was nothing else she could do to break me further.

    All the things I was looking forward to come home to just disappeared. I shut down the computer and went to find my commanding officer, I wanted them to put me back on rotation. I want them to send me somewhere for the next month where I don't have time to think.