The Teacher and Me

Truth Telling

*** Blakes POV ***

Well that was unexpected to say the least. I didn’t plan on pouring my heart into that kiss but after practically ignoring her all night because I’m an i***t and don’t know how to be around her in front of people, I decided I needed to show her that I do care for her and that I do want her. I couldn’t stop thinking about the kiss as soon as it happened, I could still taste her on my lips. I wish I could’ve stayed or taken her back to my place to kiss her more however I know I owe Adam an explanation.

“So are you going to tell me what that was all about” Adam said breaking me out of my own thoughts. Where do I even start, do I tell him everything? Or do I just say that we started something after re meeting a few weeks ago?

“Yeah Blake tell us everything” Connor added in a mocking tone. I mean I feel bad that Connor knows more about this situation than Adam does. I mean Adam and I have been friends since we started university all those years ago and im surprised at myself that ive managed to keep this from him all this time.

“What! He knows and I don’t!” Adam yells from the front seat.

Connor just starts laughing “Well judging by that kiss, I don’t know everrryyything” Uggh I cant believe of all times I decide to pour all of my feelings into one kiss I decide to do it in front of a room full of drunk people.

“How about you drop Connor off home and we go back to yours”. I decided I was going to tell him everything. Not only because I feel guilty that he is my best friend and I have kept this from him, but also for me. I cant keep holding onto this secret, especially now that I’m sort of seeing Beth again. Hopefully he doesn’t get too mad, and hopefully after he hears me out he can give me some clarity on how to handle this because I sure as hell don’t know how to! I mean I definitely have unresolved feelings for Beth but I am still finding it hard to show her affection in front of people. I mean all night I pretty much ignored her until the kiss. She must be so confused… I’m such an i***t!

“Awwwww, I want to hear the goss!” Connor wined.

I just snorted in response “As if you wont hear the gossip from the mouth itself, if not from Toby”

“What! How much am I missing, Since when are you friends with them before tonight” Adam continued to yell in front. I just punch Connor lightly on the arm as if to say give it a rest! He put his hands in front of him as to say I surrender, knowing he was starting to piss Adam off. The rest of the car ride was silent and I got lost in my own thoughts about Beth. Before I knew it we arrived at Adams house. We went into his ‘man cave’ and opened two fresh beers for the conversation.

“Alright you need to explain everything” Adam said jumping straight to the point.

“Well…..I….uhhhh” I am lost for words, I know as soon as I tell him it could ruin my friendship, it could end my career if he decided to tell anyone.

“Come on spill, I don’t have all night man”

“I slept with Beth!”

“What! When!”

“We hooked up at the school reunion and went on a date last weekend!”

“How did this happen! I thought you were against hooking up with past students, let alone DATEING them!” He was practically yelling with the amount of shock in his voice. You can tell he is genuinely surprised.

“Well… I guess it was easy considering I used to have feelings for her”

“You have feelings? Wait what!, what do you mean by USED to?” You could tell at this point he was utterly confused.

“I think we need another drink” After we drank another drink in silence I thought about how I was going to tell him about our history. I eventually just spilled it all out telling him all about our history together. I started from the start from how I started getting feelings for her when she was a student, to how we ended up in bed together. I continued the story of how we ended up falling for each other however and that I had to let her go for her to be able to live her life happily. He didn’t speak once throughout my confession and even when I finished he just sat there in complete silence.

After a few minutes of silence he just started yelling. “HOW COULD YOU BE SO STUPID” This is definitely more of the reaction I was expecting from him. “YOU COULDVE LOST YOUR JOB!” I just sat there letting him yell at me, I know I deserved it after all. I knew what I was doing was stupid but for some reason back then I couldn’t stop myself, there was just something about her… Theres still something about her that keeps me coming back, even if I wanted to stay away. After about ten minutes of him telling me how much of a stupid person I am he eventually stopped yelling. I just let him process it all so I didn’t bother saying anything in return.

“Does anyone else know?” He said after he settled down

“Ummm not that I know of, maybe Toby”

“What about Connor?”

“As far as I know he knows about our hook up at the reunion and our date, nothing more!”

“Ok, ok” he mumbled to himself, you could tell he was trying to process this news. He continued to ask me more about us mainly from recent times and only a few from ten years ago. I don’t think he really wanted to know exactly how close and intimate we were ten years ago. Although it wasn’t illegal because she was of consenting age, it was still highly immoral and could’ve costed me my job. The more I told him about our interactions the more I knew that I wanted her. After about half an hour of me answering his questions from how we snuck around when she was in high school, to our hook up at the reunion and our recent date, we fell into a comfortable silence again. He seemed less mad than before and more intrigued about the situation.

“Do you still have feelings for her?”

I just sighed heavily before admitting my feelings to my best friend about my ex-student. “That’s the problem man!, I do and would want nothing more to have a relationship with her but something stops me showing her affection in front of people, and I feel horrible for practically ignoring her all night” I downed my beer and got another one for both Adam and I. He definitely could use another one after all of this.

“Well I mean I cant say that Im not disappointed that you put your career and life at risk all those years ago man! But if no one else knows then now it will be all above board and you have nothing to worry about! I can tell there is some serious vibes between you guys after witnessing that kiss, I mean ive never seen you kiss someone like that.. like ever”

“Yeah I know what you mean, Ive never felt like this about someone before, I think Im going to go with it…. I just need to make it up to her for giving her the cold shoulder all night” He just nodded in agreement while finishing his beer. It was now quite late and I found myself crashing on Adams couch for the night. Sleep didn’t come easy as I was thinking about how I was going to win Beth over on our next date. I decided to send her a text message to let her know that im thinking about her.

I hope you dream of our kiss, just like I will. I cant wait to see you again xx