Bitter

Purgatory

Freedom courses through my veins and peace invades my mind. The sense of two different forces crawls against my tingling skin. The room that I am in is like an endless void. Almost like the dessert; you never know where the sand ends.

“Do not awaken child. Go back to sleep.” An angelic voice speaks, and it sound compelling that I find myself closing my eyes. Instead of being welcomed by the darkness, I stand facing two man. What’s intriguing about them is that one of them has wings. The feathers painted in white and gold. There is light brimming out like the sun where his eyes are supposed to be. The other man has human skin but there are break outs that allow a glimpse of red to be seen. Almost like fire is under his skin. His eyes are completely black, including the sclera.

Am I imagining them? Is my mind playing games on me?

“Do not worry child, you will understand everything when the Alternate fight has ended. All you need to do is keep an open mind and pay attention to everything happening around you. Make the right choice.” The man in white says before they both vanish in this air. Suddenly, its like a brewing war in my hand as I feel two different forces of nature inhabit in my mind.

“Accept and embrace both natures child, that’s how you will see everything.” I hear a voice in my head and follow the instructions. I inhale through my nose and exhale out my mouth a couple of times before everything starts to fall in place.

The dark force contaminates my mind, my heart, and my soul until all I feel is anger and revenge for everyone who wronged me while I was still on earth.

The light force consumes my mind, my heart, and my soul and all the great memories with my father come rushing in.

It’s the Alternate fight between good and evil within me. The choice I make in the end will determine who claims my soul.

Who are you? I speak in my mind knowing that they can hear me.

“I am angel Gabriel and I represent Heaven.”

“I am Lucifer Morningstar and I represent the Underworld.” They speak in turns. Lucifer’s voice is more rough and edgy. Somehow, it also sounds familiar, but I don’t pay mind to it.

“Let us begin.” Gabriel says and the first image comes up.

It’s a family. A mother lying on the bed with sweat drenching her hospital gown and face. There is also a man looking down at the little baby that is in the woman’s hands. That is my family. Both my parents look so happy and I can feel their joy radiate in the hospital room.

Why is it that my mother is in the memories when I never had the chance to meet her? I ask to no one in particular.

“That is because you are shown everything that affected the course of your existence, whether you saw it or not.” I nod my head at Lucifer with gratitude and continue watching the events of my life.

The next image is of my biological mother still in the hospital room, but my father is not there anymore. However, the baby is in the basinet with her eyes closed. A woman enters the room, and my biological mother seems to go in a state of shock. Her eyes bulged out and her jaw on the floor; the energy of fear is suffocating. I seem to go in the shock mode too because the woman who my mother is so scared of, is the same woman who my father introduced to me as his friend.

What is she doing here?

“Watch and learn.” I keep watching as my stepmother approaches the woman lying on the bed.

“I told you that her soul would be mine, but you had to go and double cross me.” My stepmother says to my mother. Whose soul does she need and why?

“Come thunder or rain, you shall not get her soul. Do you not think that I found out what you wanted to use it for?”

“We made a deal, you couldn’t conceive a child, so I helped you. Is this how you repay me? I just wanted her soul as an offering to Mother Lilith. Do you know what you have done?” The blonde woman question, her tone filled with rage.

Why did she want my soul?

“As an offering to the demon, Lilith. In exchange of you soul, she would get the riches of the earth and beauty to attract anything she wanted. If she succeeded, you wouldn’t have survived the ritual because she wanted to perform it when you were a new-born. Your mother somehow figured all this out and decided to make a deal with me.” Lucifer explains as angel Gabriel stands next to him looking defeated. “The deal that she made with me was that in exchange of your protection from Lilith, I would claim your soul once you die. Which you are, dead I mean but Gabriel doesn’t want to accept that, so he suggested an alternate fight.”

“You did not exactly protect her Lucifer; I know that this fight is for you to win because the darkness inside her cannot be cleansed. You might have protected her from Lilith, but you left her vulnerable to much worse things like the events that unfolded prior to her death. You have nothing to be proud of brother because you failed her.” Gabriel says as he faces his brother instead of me.

“And what about you Gabriel, at least I protected her against Lilith, what did you do?” Lucifer turn to look at Gabriel as well.

Excuse me, can we continue now? I interrupt their sibling rival so that I can be able to see what happened next. Gabriel is the first one to turn back to me and Lucifer does the same. The memory begins to play again.

“I don’t care about Lilith, all that matters is that my child is safe, and you won’t ever have the chance to do any harm to her.” Mother says. In the blink of an eye, my mother starts choking as if someone is closing her airways. I turn to the blonde woman and she has her right hand up as if she is choking my mother without holding her.

How is she doing that?

“She is Lilith’s demon so she can mind control.” I look back at my mother when Gabriel explains. A sob is heard as I look at my mother’s lifeless, glassy eyes. A tear that was in the corner of her eye runs down her cheek.

“I may not be able to do direct harm on your body, but I intend to make it my purpose to make her life so catastrophic that you will wish she had died in the hands of Lilith.” My stepmother says before she vanishes, leaving the baby and her dead mother.

So, she killed my mother? All this time I thought that my mother dies from the aftermath of giving birth. And so, did my dad. And so, did our relatives. Everyone was deceived to think that my mother died a natural death when in fact, she was murdered.

“You need to calm down Novelty. The more you get angry, the quicker the darkness inside you spreads. You have to keep it at bay long enough to see everything and make the right choice.” Gabriel explains with his gentle, warming voice. Soothing my nerves until I can see the memories clearly.

The next image is the one when I first met my stepmother. I can still recall that day; I was sitting in front of the TV watching ‘Avatar the Last Airbender’. My father came and knelt in front of me wile she was in the back smiling down at me. At that time, I really thought that she was kind because she was helping my dad by looking after me. However, now I know that there was nothing kind about her gestures as I can feel her emotions. Anger, revenge, pride and pure evil.

“This was another move of hers to get to you, but I didn’t let her. At first, she would come in your dreams and try to break the spell that I had put around you. Pathetic.” Lucifer speaks as he stands next to me in my house.

The scene changes and I am now 14 years. The day that I got my period.

Can we just skip this part and forget that it ever happened? I mumble shyly as I vividly remember that day.

“Yeah, that event was bloody, Novelty.” Lucifer confesses as he chuckles. “Literally. No pun intended.” He giggles more. For someone who is the devil he really is childish.

“Please do not listen to my brother, sometimes he loses the ability to react accordingly. Sadly, we cannot skip this memory because everything plays a role in the end.”

I nod my head and continue watching.

Memory

“Um…uh…um….so_” Dad stutters, failing to form a proper sentence. “Um…” He clears his throat, taking another pause before he even starts saying anything that actually makes sense.

“Just spit it out dad.” I whine, seeing as he has been mumbling for like five minutes.

“Uh…I just wanted to know….if…you know?...if_” I turn around to go back into my room, seeing as he doesn’t want to talk yet.

“No, wait, please. A man is trying here.” I glare at him dumbfounded. “ I just to know if…like everything went alright.” Oh, that’s what’s got him squirming like that? You gotta be kidding me.

“You will have to more specific dad. What do you mean by everything?” I question even though I already know what he is talking about; just want to make him as uncomfortable as I can.

“Don’t try to play dumb. From the way you are smiling, I know what you’re up to.” He smiles back at me.

“No, I have no idea what you want me to tell you about.”

“Okay, okay, how is your period? There you have it. Are you happy now?” I smirk at him, I swear that if he didn’t have that melanin, he would be as red as a tomato. I can hear how flustered he is through his voice.

After we had left the class and the mocking behind, my teacher and I went to the school nurse who gave me sanitary pads to use until I got my own.

A very tight short, short that must have belonged to a toddler (which explains why all my body fat was squeezed and dumped on top of the short’s waistline) was brought to me from lost and found.

A huge T shirt was also brought along (at least it was able to cover all the excess body fat). During all this process, my father had already been informed of the situation by the school and was on the way to pick me up. When he came to pick me up, the man was quiet and tense than I have never seen him before.

He took me to a shop and just stashed his debit card in my hand. In his words “Just get anything you need.” He didn’t even bother to look at me and through the pain, I managed to let out a strangled laugh due to my dad’s awkwardness.

I went to the back to the car when I satisfied with how much money I had splurged on chocolate, chocolate, chocolate, ice cream, tampon, pads, heat pads, paracetamol, sweets, sanitary bags and a whole lotta other bunch that I definitely did not relate to menstruation.

My dad did not comment on the three bags that I was holding because he was still affected. Men.

End of memory.

A tear drops down from my eye and a huge smile is slapped on my face. This is one of the best times that I had, teasing my father was my main purpose in the world. What made me more happy was the love and sense of care that was radiating from him throughout the memory.

“Damn, how did you manage to lose all that weight. Give a guy some tips.” Lucifer interrupts my thoughts by his meaningless question but I can’t even get myself from the high with how much light has filled me.

Thank for showing me that. It wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be. I ignore Lucifer and turn my attention to Gabriel who just nods his head.

“I can feel the light within you has made an appearance, but sadly, that light might just burn down with what I am going to tell you.” Gabriel speaks in a sorrowful tone.

“Your father didn’t die of cancer. Your stepmother killed him that day you decided to go to school.” Lucifer blurts out but my brain is barely functioning enough to understand what he is trying to tell me.

I can feel the urge to kill grow inside of me. The anger just wants to burst out through each and every pore in my skin as I try to process the new information that I have been given.

She murdered both my mother and father? I can sense the darkness grow larger and larger inside me. All I can see is the pain that the world has put me through. The pain that fate has put me through.

Did he even have cancer? There is a moment of silence as Lucifer and Gabriel share a silent conversation with their eyes.

I said was he diagnosed with cancer!

“No, it was all an illusion. He showed all the signs of cancer because that’s what that demon wanted you to see. Cancer was just a front cover to not make his death look suspicious but he his true death was the same as your mother.” Lucifer explains.

“I choose darkness.”

Summary point:

Novelty is in purgatory and she has to choose darkness or light.

Her biological mother couldn’t conceive a child so she made a deal with Lilith. Lilith would help with her fertility and in return the mother has to give the soul of her child to the demon.

The mother takes back her promise and makes a deal with the devil.

Novelty’s father was killed by the step mother.

Novelty chooses darkness