Bitter

r**e

I have had a 100 drinks. Or was it 5? 

Eh, who cares, all that matters is I'm having fun. The alcohol has made me loosen up as well. As we are talking right now, there is a white guy behind me, grinding his hips into my back. His arm snaked around my waist, and his chin on my shoulder, kissing the right side of my neck. And then there another white guy in front of me, grinding his hips. He is gently holding the sides of my waist and his lips on the left side of my neck.

It's like a sandwich. My gosh, I am a sandwich. Can I get a sandwich?

“Excuse me, bartender, where can I get a sandwich!?” I ask from the middle of the dance floor. It's not like he would hear me over this loud music and I'm barely anywhere near the bar. Do they even sell them in here?

“I need to go home to get a sandwich,” I mumble, trying to push the guy in front of me away. They keep grinding, the guy in the front dares to put his hand inside my pants.

“Kick his groin.” A voice whispers in my ear, and I for sure know that it's not the guy behind me because he is still making out with my neck. This voice sounds like the baritone one I heard when I was still sitting at the bar.

Maybe it's my inner voice. I laugh out loud at the thought of my thought of my inner voice sounding so manly and deep.  I follow the instructions I was told and sure enough, he hunches over and groans in pain.

“Why did you do that, you b***h!?” he screams but I don't pay any mind to it. Instead, I remove the arm from my waist and stumble across the dance floor trying to find the exit. It's hard enough that I am drunk but people budging into me while I'm trying to walk is not any better.

After what feels like centuries, I finally make it to the exit. Fresh air rushes up my nose and I smile at the sky like a psycho. 

Where is my car?Maybe someone stole it.

I don't have a car though.But I swear I came by car.

Without paying much thought to it, I start walking in the empty parking lot towards a lighted alleyway. That will get me straight home and then I will have my sandwich. But if I go home, I will remember about dad. I don’t want to go there.

But you have to Novelty, that's the only way you will get to eat. Think about the ham, cheese, lettuce, mayonnaise,  ketch up, and the warm, soft, fresh bread. Yum.“Yo Nappy, wait up!” A male voice behind me interrupts my thoughts  and I turn around, coming face to face with 4 guys. I recognise two of them from the dance floor and the other guy is the one who I punched earlier. The last one seems to be the guard but I am not sure.

“We thought that we could finish up what we started.” One of the guys from the dance floor says when they approach me.

“What did we start?” My voice is slurred and my vision is blurred as I try to stand still and understand what he is on about.Their faces look funny, they look like ducks and they are quacking. 

“What did we start?” I ask confusedly ignoring my thoughts.

“Let us jog your memory.” He says with a smirk on his face and they all stalk towards me as if they are predators until they surround me. 

The fight or flight mode begins to kick but the alcohol in my system prohibits me from doing what's wise. My mind is aware that danger is approaching but it can't catch a solution. As much as I try, I am not sobering up. 

The guy who was talking lunges at me but I move backwards, only to bump into something behind me.

I tilt my head back to see what it is. One of the guys. He holds my hands back so that my top half is immobile.

The one who had lunged at me finally reaches me and grabs my breast. Panic mode. He is not supposed to touch me there without my consent. My breathing quickens, it feels like my mind is caged and can't escape.

“Kick him.” My inner voice whispers to me. I jump up to kick him but he holds my legs before they can do any damage. He opens them up and wraps them around his waist.

“Please,” I plead, trying to wiggle my way out but they just won’t budge. “Please don’t do this.”

“Shut up, b***h. I know you want this or else you wouldn’t have tempted us like that. Don’t worry, we will treat you good.”

Everything that follows afterwards is a blur. Its almost as if I was outside my body and watching the events unwrap. My brain just completely shut down as they did whatever they wanted. In the beginning, I was fighting to get out of this situation. My body was shaking, sweat dripping down my forehead and tears running down my cheeks. 

I was fighting to stay above water but in the end, I drowned. I went limp, I was frozen. Why couldn't I move?

The guy behind me didn't release me until the other three had taken turns. When it was his turn, they didn't even bother to hold my hands back anymore because my body was just a vacuum at this point.

All I could think about was how the sky looked so mesmerising. The stars witnessing  such a tragic event incident unravel.

When they were satisfied, they start walking away.

“Wait, what if she rats us out?” One of them asks the others.

“Nah, she won’t remember anything. Look at her, she is hammered. Let’s just leave her.” Replies the other.

“Don’t be naïve. That n**** will have us in jail before sundown.”

“It’s not like anyone will believe her anyways, her word against ours.”Can they stop bickering?  I want to go home and have a sandwich.

“Even if they don't believe her, the allegations would ruin us. The best way to make sure that she is silenced is to bury her with the secret.”

“You’re crazy Davis, do it yourself. I'm out.”

“You’re such a p***y for someone who is a guard. I will take one for the team if you can't handle it. Can one of you get my car so that we can go and stash her?” Who I’m assuming to be the leader of the group, Davis, approaches me and kneels next to my head.

“I will.” A guy standing behind Davis says. Davis throws something jingling to one of the goons and looks back at me.

“ It's time to go to hell and meet papa. I'm doing you a favour here.” He says softly, his index finger dancing over my cheek. That's the last thing I remember and then he smother me with his large hand.

I'm going to daddy?

Summary point: 

Novelty gets drunk. 

She tries walks out of the club to go home but she gets r***d in the alleyway by 4 guys. 

2 guys she was dancing with on the dancefloor, the guys she punched when she entered the club and the guard. 

The persistence of wanting a sandwich symbolizes how her mental capacity is not in the right place. 

In the end she is smothered so that she faints. 

The r**e Crisis National Freephone helpline 0808 802 9999 

https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/s****l-health/help-after-r**e-and-s****l-assault/    For further information.

Take care x. N